I made dinner and sat with my plate, saying nothing. I hadn't talked to Aiden other than words that mean nothing. Like, 'Dinner is ready.', or other stuff. I hate dinner without a sound, only little comments as well. I finish, wash the dishes, and go upstairs. I lay down. I felt empty. I didn't say a word either. I fall asleep.
Aiden awakens me for the pack meeting, and I do get ready, like I do everyday. I didn't feel that well, but force myself up. When I had transformed I think one negative thought. 'Why am I even alive?' After that, I try and think about work. I succeed, but not as I would have liked too. I think about the team, Hotchner, Emily Prentiss, California and at the hotel. I hadn't succeeded. Everyone knew I was hiding something. But I was tired of it. I knew they were getting the message, just like I had gotten the message that Paul was starving. I was raged by the fact I couldn't do anything. I bare my teeth. Nothing. By the end of the whole meeting, I was just about ready to explode. I was angry with myself, not anyone else. I was angry at the air I breathed. I was angry at just about everything, and everyone. What was there to do in life? I wanted this man to die. If that meant me dying with this? Who cares? I drive to the BAU, and get there pretty early. When I had gotten there, I was questioning myself. I suddenly realise, was I profiling myself? Walking up to Morgan, he sees me. "Oh, Hey Liz." He says. "Hey." I say, sounding a bit releaved. "Morgan, I'm kinda questioning this whole case." I say. He looks confused. He gestures me to continue. "I honestly don't know. I know I'm emotionally envolved in this case, but I think it's getting to me. And... Why strike at kids? The man is a phycopath, that's for sure, but... I honestly don't know. He's leaving addresses. To the spot he kills his victims. Honestly, I'm questioning the gender as well. There's remorse in the kills. Why doens't he or she leave us to find the children?" I say, adding my thoughts in to my words. He nods. "It's possible. I mean, Liz. It even looks like it's getting to you. What time did you wake up today? And I mean.. Everyday." He says. I hesitate, and he gives me a look. "One fifty." I say. He stares at me. "Everyday?" He asks. "Yes." I say, and sigh. I knew it was wrong. "What time do you go to bed?" He asks. "Around eleven." I say, trailing off. I was a nervous wreck. I was more messed up than probably this killer was. "Liz. That's barely three hours. Why wake up so early?" He asks, digging deeper. I just let go.. I honestly couldn't take much more. "This thing me and my friends do. It's for my town. It's to keep everyone safe. I know I sound crazy, but seriously." I say and look at him. "You commited to waking up at two AM, and ruining your life? Liz, that's awful, and you know it." He says. "I know, but I can't just quit, I mean, it has a purpose." I say. "Not like this. Did you all just make it up?" He asks. "It's like a traditional thing. It's not fair, but I got caught up in it." I say. He looks at me for a moment. One whole minute, his dark eyes pierced into me. I didn't dare leave them.
