Tough Choices

Chapter 16

Willow's POV:
"Willow," My mom says walking in the room. "it's almost time to go." "I don't wanna go. I just want to lay here in my bed." "I promise when it's over you can come back here and no one will bother you, but you have do this. It'll make you feel a lot better." "Do I have to?" "I'm not going to make you. I do want you to remember that she was your friend." She says before leaving. I sigh and reluctantly get up to get dressed. I grab the black dress out of my closet and go into the bathroom to change. I would much rather do anything else but go to my best friend's funeral. It feels like torture....but ever since a week ago when the "incident" between me and James happened he hasn't talked to me and I really need to talk to him....
When we get to the funeral I sneak over to sit beside James. "I need to talk to you." I whisper. "About what?" "About what happened last week. I don't understand why you've been ignoring me." "Can we not talk about this right now." "Then when do you want to talk about this? You can't stay away from me forever." "Willow please..." "Fine. After this is over come over to my house." I look up at him and can tell he's not sure. "Please...." I beg. "Okay...." I take his hand and give it a quick squeeze before moving to sit beside Nathan. "What was that about?" He ask. "Nothing...."
When I'm finally back home, in my room, I rip off the dress I'm wearing and shove it to the back of my closet never wanting to see it again. I put on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt Jason let me keep before falling face first on my bed. I just want to lay here forever where no one can-
I'm interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on my door. "Go away!" I yell knowing for sure that it's Nathan but I jump up when I feel someone sit down at the end of my bed. "James?" "So you invite me over and then tell me to go away?" "I thought you were Nathan." "I know...." "James...what's going on between us?" "What do you mean?" "You know what I mean! Stop acting like it never happened!" "I wish it hadn't." I don't know why but I can't help but feel a little hurt by his words. "Well it did and there's no way for us to change that." "Willow what do you want me to do?" "I don't know but I don't want you ignoring me." "Then I won't." "I still want us to be best friends." "Me too. I'm not going to let what happened change that." "So can you honestly say that you don't have feelings for me?" His hesitation starts to worry me. "Maybe....I don't know." He says standing up. "No!" I say running to shut the door. "You're not leaving. Not yet. If we don't figure this out now you'll start avoiding me again." "Willow, I already told you I'm not going to do that anymore." "How can I trust you if you can't even say you have feelings for me?" He runs his fingers through his hair and stares at me. I lean in to make him think I'm going to kiss him but go to his ear instead. "You don't have feelings for me." I whisper. "You're just forcing yourself to think that. You want me to take the place of Lily. Part of that is my fault....I kissed you first and I'm sorry." "Willow...you're right but I don't want you to think that this is your fault. I just don't want to believe that she's really gone." "I don't either." I say hugging him. I let him go when I hear someone knock on my door. "Hey." Jason says when I open the door. "Hey." I say hugging him. "Apparently my mom just sends people up to my room now." "Is that bad?" "No. I'm just surprised that my dad is letting her since both of them have been boys." "Well I guess I'll see you later." James says. "Text me?" "I will." He says before leaving. "Everything ok?" Jason asks. "Everything's fine." I say laying down next to him in my bed. "We just talked for awhile." "Are you ok?" "I'm fine." "How's Nathan?" "Besides his wrist being broken he's fine. He still plays soccer all the time." "I'm not surprised. Nothing can stop him from playing soccer." "Of course not." "I can't help but think about everything that has happened. I hate it. I hate that any of this even happened." "I think about it all the time but you can't beat yourself up about it. It happened and now it's over." He pulls me closer to him and kisses my forehead. "I love you." "I love you too."
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R.I.P Lily🌸💗
Song- Impossible Year by Panic! At The Disco