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Twenty Four: A New Person

As we drove along I sat in the back of the car for once, only having a small section allocated for me in amongst all of the stuff the three of us brought; mainly what Jess brought. I contacted Zoe earlier as she had arrived in London and was with Joe whilst we spoke, making the final arrangements for the party tomorrow night.

The party which was a key element to my plan, the party in question being in my honour to announce to everyone in a clear way that there is another Sugg, well technically Mitchell-Sugg. Not that  they need to know the technicalities, they'll just care about the secret Sugg. Zoe said she had managed to invite a lot of her friends, some I knew a little about whereas others would be complete strangers. This element terrified me as they would be wanting to meet me, which is why I brought my two best friends along to keep me calm.

Glancing ahead I saw a sign showing how close we now were to London. We had to book ourselves a hotel since Joe couldn't have accommodated us, especially with Caspar there. But I was looking forward to spending a week in a hotel, my room is a few doors down from Jess and Jim and we can watch films or talk until it's late or get room service, just the little things I don't usually get treated to.

Jim remained solely focused on the road with Jess making light conversation about the outfit she had planned for tomorrow night whilst Jim made comments on how beautiful she would look, but having to remember that he can't be focusing on her tomorrow unfortunately. Tomorrow Jim was due to pose as my boyfriend, we had rehearsed it and got our act perfected. I felt awful for Jess who would have to witness this but nothing would happen, at the most a kiss on the cheek, I could not kiss my best friend, let alone my other best friends boyfriend. Jim is well Jim and that is all I can view him as, but tomorrow I will just have to seem loved up, all I have to do is pretend he is who I wish he really was. Before the person in question manipulated me, making my perception of him fade entirely.

Music played softly into my ears as I felt my eyes becoming heavy, eventually causing me to drift off peacefully to the sound of the passing cars, trying to enjoy some of the last moments of normality in its element.

"Ali! Ali!" I was awoken with a jolt, pulling my earphones out and looking around. Still in the cluttered car, with both my friends looking at me with wide eyes.

Whilst I rubbed my eyes they proceeded to stare at me making me feel a little bit uncomfortable. They didn't have the excited wide eye look, or the mischievous one either instead this was a look of terror. "What happened? Are we okay?" Concern replaced my usual happy tone, my throat felt raw for some strange reason. I reached out to hold Jess' hand but she pulled away, looking slightly afraid.

Jess turned to face Jim and gave him a look, causing him to clear his throat before explaining what ever could've been wrong. "Ali we think you had another nightmare, and it wasn't the sort a child would have. You started off by mumbling things, then you started to yell at various people whimpering you wanted to be alone. We had to pull over as you started to scream, cry with all your might. Both of us yelled for you to wake up but you weren't responsive, you kept turning and Jess noticed how you dug into your leg, leaving that mark on your thigh. Ali, I thought you were in control?" Jim finished and I felt lost.

Glancing to my thigh there were five deep scratches on my leg, close to being deep enough to cause bleeding but more of a temporary sting. My face felt wet yet I couldn't remember a single thing, instead I brought my legs to my chest and curled up into a ball. "What, what was I yelling?" I asked quietly, wanting to tap into my subconscious and trigger something to make me remember.

"You kept yelling for him, for Caspar." Jess mumbled, slowly turning to face me again. My mind went hazy as I could see a picture in my mind, shutting my eyes tightly I whispered his name, hoping something could come of this.