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Twenty: Instability

I took a few deeps breaths as I grasped onto the front door handle, not mentally prepared for what I'll be walking into. My mind was screaming at me to just turn around, keep driving for a while since no one could contact me. What if I didn't return, would anyone miss me?

Opening the door I slid inside, immediately feeling warmer having been stuck in the cold for a few minutes, letting goosebumps rise over my arms. Silently I shut the door, as if I were a ghost not wanting to be spotted in the act of sneaking in, just like I did when I was younger it was something I perfected now. Slowly I tread towards the stairs, but I creak against a floorboard and silently swear to myself as I hear voices come to a hush and knew I was done for.

As soon as I heard the door open I stopped dead in my tracks, Jim stood with his arms folded and a look of disappointment on his face. Standing still, attempting to keep my ground I avoided eye contact with him, that was until a cough interrupted and both my parents stood either side, copying his facial expressions to a T.

"Come on in Ali, we have a lot to talk about." My dad spoke up first and everyone dispersed back into the room, awaiting my entrance.

Glancing back to the door, realising I still had the chance to leave, I was half way from escaping and half from being confined. Deep down I knew my choice wasn't so open as I would like to think it was. Going against my own will I walked forward, rather than retreating to my freedom I opted to facing my own personal jail cell, designed for liars and those who wish to be fed lies.

As I stepped inside it didn't feel warm, the warmth you're supposed to feel when you arrive home, instead it felt cooler, more icy like the cold glares I gave each of them as I remained stood by the doorway waiting for one of them to begin. It took a while for any one of them to speak up, it was only when I rolled my eyes and began to turn that I was interrupted in doing so. "You aren't going anywhere young lady." My mum spoke up, and caught my attention. She used to address me as young lady whenever I had done something bad, yet how is taking control over my past a bad thing to do?

"Oh so I'm in trouble?" I asked, surprised by my tone of voice.

"Don't take that tone with us." My dad tried to remain calm but I could sense the aggression rising.

"All we need to do is talk things through, like why you went without telling us for a start." My mum rubbed her eyes and sat in the armchair, Jim moved over to her and made sure she was alright before she continued. "I understand how we haven't been well entirely honest-"

She stopped as I scoffed to her, how dare she treat this as if it were such a simple act, "Honest? You blatantly lied to me my whole life! You knew I had a brother, you knew of my parents past and yet you kept from me that I witnessed the death of my birth parents!" I raised my voice as I felt dizzy, some image appearing in my head. "No, no stop! Please!" I screamed as I clawed at my head, all I could see was a dark road, I could hear laughter and saw headlights flickering towards me, then a loud scream. "Make it stop, make it stop." I repeated to myself, now on the floor clutching my face, desperately trying to shake the image from my mind, the only thing now being heard is the scream, a women's scream.

A hand touched my shoulder and my eyes shot open, Jim crouched in front of me with a look of sure panic and it didn't falter as I glanced back, the shaking in my whole body didn't cease. "I think she should get some rest." Jim turned away from me but kept his hand secure on my shoulder, the other voices felt very far away as if they were miles away, the only prominent voice belonged to Jim amongst the faint screams.