The Muslim Criminal

Chapter 34 - Stress of Exams

After my psychology exam I picked up my bags from the locker and left the building. Since I was quite late Robert didn't wait up because he didn't know so I decided to walk home.

After exiting school premises I realised I don't know how to get home.
"Lost?" I hear, I turn around to see Ayaan. My face softens when I see him.

I try to speak but he interrupt.
"Don't bother. I'll speak to your father and tell him I'm not interested" he has a blank look on his face
Wow, rough blow.
"For now, let's get you home" he says curtly.

I sigh inwardly and follow him. How do I tell him? Wait what do I tell him?
"Ayaan" I start. He doesn't look at me or stop walking so I just continue.
"It's.. it's very complicated. Y-you misunderstood what I said when you heard me, although you shouldn't have been eavesdropping since it's very bad but that's a different topic" I shake my head to stop myself from rambling on "if you would please listen to me"

"Fine!" He says gruffly. He doesn't say anything after that but carries on walking nor does he let me speak. I trudgingly follow him.

He leads us to a park and sits himself on a swing.
"Go on" he says looking ahead.
Now how do I tell him without telling him everything. Wait, why am I even trying so hard? It's only him, he's no one special.

But he's innocent, he's not supposed to be involved in all this. I need to get him out.

So why didn't I stop him when he said he'll talk to Nuh.

"Are you going to speak or what?" I hear bringing me out of my thoughts.

"The thing is, it's the idea of marriage itself. I just, I don't want to be held back or like tied down whatever it is. I don't want to do something then think about whether or not I need to tell my husband, or whether or not it'll affect him. Marriage is a huge responsibility to me and at such young age I don't think I'll be up for it. I have a lot to do with my life and marriage would just get in the way. I tried explaining it to Nuh I mean Dad!" I quickly cover up. He shows a strange look but doesn't say anything.
"But he didn't listen to me, he just simply said that he got married at my age too. So I tried talking to Chief about it to see if he will help me out but he did the same as Dad and told me to agree. At first I didn't even know it was you and when I found out, I'm being honest here, I didn't think I would say yes it just came out. I'm still annoyed at Chief because he didn't." I sigh "he didn't seem sad that I was getting married"

I don't know why I'm telling all this to him but I don't know, I feel as though he's cool and I can trust him. He looks at me then away again.

"So you're not really being forced to marry me, you're just being forced to get married in general?"
"Yeah I guess" I mumble.
"You realise if I say no then they will just get you married to another guy"
I sigh "Yeah. I'd rather have you" I blurt. My eyes widen along with his. He clears his throat.
"That came out wrong. I just meant, it's better getting married to someone I know rather than someone old geezer I don't know" I say. He chuckles deeply.
"Say what you want Criminal I know you really want to marry me" he smirks.

And the usual annoying Ayaan is back.
"You sound like a dude you know" he says after we stay in silence.
"How?" I frown at him
"Most guys say they don't want to be tied down, it's mostly girls that are eager to get married"
"So you're the girl in this relationship?" I tease. Instead on glaring at me and smirks.
"We have a relationship?" He quirks an eyebrow.
"Erm yeah. We are going to get married" I say
He chuckles but doesn't say anything.

"So we cool?" I ask
"We're cool"

"You know marriage is a huge deal for me too but whatever happens we'll go through it together" he says quietly. I glance and him then look away and smile.
"Yeah In Sha Allah"
"In Sha Allah"
"I should head home now. Ibrahim must be waiting"
"Yeah come on. I'll drop you"

When we were walking Ayaan seemed to be in deep thought so I let him be alone with his thoughts. He took me home which took about 20 minutes.

I got home and was questioned a lot by ibrahim. Apparently Nuh wants me to find a wedding dress. Is he serious? I'm in the middle of exams!

I decline the offer of going shopping and go to my room. I drop my bags and jump into my bed. I spread out like a starfish and stare at the ceiling.

My thoughts drift to Ayaan. He seemed genuinely hurt when he found out I was forced, does he.. want to marry me? But why? Why would anyone want to marry a criminal? He doesn't know anything about me! But then why did I stop him? He could've easily told Nuh to break the wedding off so why did I stop him. I don't want him getting hurt because of me, he will just feel betrayed when he finds out everything. I cannot let anyone innocent people get hurt because of me! So then why didn't I stop him!

Urghhhh Ayaan!!!! What messed up shit have you done to my mind!!

*****

I never knew exams were this frustrating. I've never been this stressed in my life! One after the other I have an exam. Luckily they were spaced out through the week. I had Ayaan with me on most exams and wherever we would be seated he never failed to catch my eye and make me stifle a laugh. Since it's so quite everyone can hear yet the exam people don't say anything I think it's because they're scared. Ashley was there too but she's the type of person so carry on writing till the very end of the exam.

After my Maths exam I had Physics and I went to the study hall to go over some key topics.
"Wanna revise together?" Ayaan says.
"Sure" I shrug. He asks me a few questions and I answer them with ease and then I ask him questions.

"How are you so smart? I mean I'm sure you don't get an education when you're jailed" he says but cautiously.
"I had a few ways" I shrug.
"Tell me" he asks interested.
"Well Daniel would sneak out and get me a few books"

He smiles but doesn't say anything.

We continue to revise then head off to the exam when it's time.
After the exam I decide to go home. This time Robert drives me.

He smiles when he sees me and asks about the exams.

Once I arrive home I'm really tired so I go to bed after reading my Zuhr prayer.

Today was my last exam and Alhamdulillah I thought it was ok. Lets just pray the results are as good as I hope.