The Muslim Criminal

Chapter 41- Ayaan's secret

I woke up with a jolt as I hear something smash. I groan and run a hand through my hair. When I hear shouting I become alarmed and get out of the bed. I quickly wrap a scarf around my head and tiptoe downstairs.

"The girl is completely different!" I hear as I arrive near the living room.
"She won't fit in with our standards, our rules and rituals. Our traditions, they all mean nothing to her. You should've married a desi! She's not like us, she will only complicate things in your life"
"Mausi! Stop it! You have no right to question Zayna. She's my wife and I'm perfectly happy with her" my heart warms at the words though my conscious is running around holding a 'danger' sign.
"Ma, tell him. Tell him how she's not right. He's going to disappoint us once again!" She snarls. I peer through the door and see everyone there apart from any of the girls. There are pieces of a vase on the floor while Umar bhai picks them up.
"You've always made bad decisions like your mother" she spits.
"Mausi enough! You have no right to say anything about my mother! I don't care what you say, I've married her and that's that!"
"Well you can divorce her" she says so easily. My body stiffens at the thought of divorcing Ayaan. My heartbeat stopped for a second I'm sure.
"She has no culture or anything, she has such an odd way of thinking. Look she's only been here a day and she's already tried to change so many things. Divorce the girl Ayaan, it'll be best for you"
"You are not going to do with me what you did to my father" he says dangerously. Ayaan's father?
"You still can't see it was for your own good!"
"How? How is separating a man from his children for my own good? No Mausi it was for your good. Not mine, not my mother's and definitely not for Yusra!"
"Enough both of you!" I peer to see Daadi say that.
"Sit down, Walid go get them some water so they cool down"
I lean against the wall so he doesn't see me. Luckily because it's dark he doesn't. He swiftly goes in the other direction to the kitchen.
"I will not allow you to divorce her, we all know how badly that will affect us. Frankly speaking I like the girl and I will make sure she stays in the family" a part of me is like why Daadi, I was just about to like you. But another part is like this is why I like you Daadi.
"If you dare say anything about the girl again" I peer to see Daadi pointing at Mausi "it will not be good for you and you can pack your bags and leave" Mausi looks down.
"Ayaan, I will not tolerate you talking to your elders like this again" Ayaan nods. Walid comes back from the kitchen and stops. He stares at me while I stare at him in shock.
"What are you doing here?" He whispers.
"I-"
"Leave it. Just go, they're finished now"
I nod and quietly walk up the stairs. I don't go to my room though, I stay to listen.
"Here's some water"
"Now you all go back to your rooms. Make sure you pray Fajr" Daadi says

I sprint to my room and shut the door. I sit on my bed and just think about what I've heard.
I know I don't exactly have a culture but I never faced any problem with it. Now that I'm here it feels like culture is everything.
I know Mausi doesn't like me at all but I have no clue why, I never did anything to her that is harmful. I never posed a threat to her. So then why all the hate?
A knock on my door shakes me out of my thoughts. I look to see Ayaan. I look in shock, it's a good thing I didn't take my scarf off yet.
He comes and sits opposite me, our knees touching. I feel them weird feelings again in my stomach.
He doesn't look at me.
"I know you heard everything" he says quietly.
"Walid told me" I don't say anything. I hear him let out a shaky sigh.
"I know you don't like it Zayna but can I just hold you for a little while" my eyes widen. He knows! How! I look at him and notice his slumped posture. He sighs in defeat and leans against the headboard and I fix my position so I'm resting on him. At first he's shocked then his left arm goes around the back of my body and his right goes over the front. His head nuzzles into my shoulder. This feels so relaxing but I know it's so wrong.
"Just relax" he forces a chuckle. Deciding to let go for some time I relax and lean into his chest. He sighs in content. I smile as I feel my stomach flip.
"My father and my mother were always happy together, my mother is Bengali while my father is Punjabi. My family never liked how they loved each other so much without sharing the same culture. Desi is a culture but Pakistan and Bangladesh differ in a few ways.Both families did things differently. While my mother was pregnant with Yusra my father's family convinced him to divorce my mother and gain custody over me and- well just me"
I look at his hands which are now playing with mine. I ignore the fact he was about to say someone else.
"My father never gained custody over me because I was old enough to choose who I wanted to stay with. So he left. I haven't seen him since. I'm told he never comes to this house and this family blames me for that"
"But it's not your fault"
"I know" he says quietly.
"My mother left the house and moved to London while she was pregnant with Yusra and had me with her. We were poor so finding a house was hard. That's when I decided to drug deal, it was an easy source of money"
I know it's never good to earn money in haram ways because it will never benefit you.
"When I realised what I was doing was haram and sinful I stopped and I got jobs in cafes while I was in school, because of the stress I got very angry and abusive towards people so they got scared of me"
He pauses.
"Things got better Alhamdulillah. Mama found a well paying job once Yusra was a toddler and I could stop working, that gave me more time to study. I had less stress so I was not angry anymore. They don't know, they don't know the struggle we went through. They didn't help in the slightest"
I gulp to swallow the lump in my throat.
"Now, they think marrying you was a bad decision just like staying with my mother was. But I know its not"