The Prophecies of Typhon: The Forbidden Quest (IN EDITING) (DISCONTINUED)

We Find Ourselves in the Pit of Despair

Courtney

Pink fairy dust. I was so sick of magical, pink, glittery fairy dust. It was all up my nose, in my eyes, in my mouth, everywhere. I coughed and sputtered, wiping my face vigorously so as to rid myself of Aphrodite's sparkle spray or whatever it was. Jenny and Sydney looked about as absolutely done with this Aphrodite thing as I felt.

I spit out a small spray of rose petal flavored glitter and wiped my hands on my jeans, looking around at the particularly dreary scenery (a landscape that could only belong to the Underworld) that surrounded our trio.

"Anybody else starting to regret helping Beauty Queen?" I asked, wiping away a glob of sparkles under my eye.

Jenny sneezed out a small flurry of glitter. "I regret ever getting involved in this," she grumbled. As much as I hated to say it, I felt the same way. This plan had been so much simpler in our heads. Sydney nodded as she shook our her jacket, flinging glitter everywhere.

"So..." Sydney looked around. "Where are we headed?"

"There." I pointed to a cave in the middle of an empty field (would you call it a field? It was more or less an empty space of nothingness). "That's the entrance."

We all stood there, staring at the entrance to what could very easily be our graves.

"Well, okay then!" I said with mock cheerfulness and clapped my hands, marching exaggeratedly towards the entrance to Tartarus. "Lets to find ourselves a lost diaper baby!"

May I just say that falling for nine days (give or take) to the literal personification of death gives you time to reflect on your life and how suddenly it has come to resemble the tale of Alice in Wonderland, falling down dark, seemingly endless, (sort of) fictional pits of doom. Except, in our case, the pit is quite real, and of course, there is the ever present absence of changing colored, philosophical cats and endless tea parties with a seemingly drunk top hat enthusiast and an evil queen who's played a bit to much poker and miniature golf in her life span. Rather disappointing.

As soon as we hit the ground with an unceremonious splat, we sat up and looked around. This place was even more dismal than the Fields of Punishment.

"Okay, anyone got a map to our lost Valentine's Day mascot?" I asked. Sydney shook her head, but Jenny just raised her eyebrows-I sign I decided was a 'no'.

"Lovely," I muttered. "Alright. Anyone got a general map of Tartarus?"

This time Jenny handed me a folded piece of paper extracted from one of her jacket pockets. "Much appreciated," I said as I unfolded the map.

"So, we're right here," Jenny said, pointing to a spot near the River Phlegethon, "and we need to get there." she pointed to another cave labeled Door to the Mortal World. "We'll have to go across the Phlegethon and Cocytus, and get through the mountains to get out. Let's just hope our lost godly friend is hiding between here and the way out."

"Let's do it quickly," Sydney said. "The air is really thin down here and I think I'm starting to get blisters on my arms." Sure enough, I could see her skin bubbling, like she was allergic to the place. All three of us were.

"Where's an Apollo kid when you need 'em?" I groaned. We were all going to die down here.

"Wait!" Jenny looked really deep in thought. "I think that the Phlegethon has healing properties."

"Great!" I said with an exaggeratedly cherry tone. "Lets go drink the flaming river!"

"But it also could be the Lethe. I can never remember which one." Jenny looked at me and Sydney with indecision.

"Let's just go with the Phlegethon and hope we're right," I said. We started marching off in the direction of the river, finding it in a few minutes (or so it felt. Time was all jacked up down in this bloody hole.)

We all looked at the flaming river warily. Sydney was the first to bend down, scoop a handful of the water, and drink it from her cupped hands. She gagged on it a bit, but after she swallowed, her blisters began to fade away. I quickly copied her, and so did Jenny, both of us dipping our hands in and drinking the water.

It was nasty. My insides felt like they were on fire wherever the water touched, like I'd eaten some overly spicy pepper. My gag reflex kicked in, and I felt like the water and whatever I had eaten last was going to come back up. I forced my stomach to hold its contents.

"That was bloody disgusting," I said flatly, making a face. "But, on the upside, it is working. We should probably fill a water bottle with this and drink a bit at a time as we keep going."

"Smart idea," Sydney said. She pulled out her water bottle, drank the last swallow of it, then filled it with river water.

We all just stood there, not sure what to do next.

"So," Jenny said, gesturing to the river. "How are we going to get across?"

"The air's too thin for me to fly all of us at once, but I could probably do one at a time," I offered. I didn't relish the idea of flying over the Phlegethon carrying someone, but there was no other way across (except pole vaulting with my staff, but I was ninety-nine percent sure that a) I was the only one with the slightest idea how to pole vault and b) my companions wouldn't appreciate that).

I bent down so Sydney could climb onto my back. Once I knew she was all set to go, I willed the thin air to lift and carry me to the other side. The concentration it took to do that gave me a pounding headache, most likely from the thin air supply and the fact that we were in the official monster crib. I took a drink of water (not spicy river water) and flew across to repeat the process with Jenny. Once she and I had gotten to the other side safely, the three of us began trudging off through the mountains in search of the lost diaper baby god.

Not a quarter of the way through, near the jagged mountain range between the Phlegethon and the Cocytus, we ran into trouble. Empousai, at least four, were roaming around. They hadn't seen us yet, but that was hardly comforting. We all held our breath and kept silent, moving ever so slowly forward.

CRUNCH. One of our shoes slid on some loose dirt. We all froze as the Empousai all turned to face us. I slowly pulled my pencil from my jacket pocket, ready to use it at the first sign of agression.

The Empousai all ran at us at once, moving abnormally fast. I clicked my pencil and thrust it forward at the same time, so in it's transformation, it impaled the one closest to me. The Empousa vanished into a pile of dust, but I didn't bother admiring my handiwork. I used my staff like a pole vaulter's stick to swing myself up in the air, landing a hard kick in another Empousa's face.

Sydney was right behind me, thrusting her dagger into the monster and making her disintegrate. Jenny had shot one and was taking aim at the last. The problem was that as these monsters had attacked, more had noticed and were now charging. There was now a Manticore and several dozen Karpoi and Chimera charging right for us. I quickly lowered myself into a defensive stance and prepared to fight.

Something was getting in the monster's way. It was a hulking figure, rising more than triple my size in height. As soon as Sydney and I caught a glimpse of the giant form's face, we looked at each other and grinned.

It was Bob the Giant to the rescue.