The Prophecies of Typhon: The Forbidden Quest (IN EDITING) (DISCONTINUED)

One Order of Lost Diaper Baby God to Go

Courtney

Bob held the door for us as we stepped inside his house. Small Bob was there, waiting patiently by the door and letting out happy meows at the sight of the Titan. Bob grinned and scooped Small Bob up onto his shoulder. 

"Come, sit!" Bob gestured to some-I guess they were chairs? Sofas, perhaps? - and we sat. I was grateful for the break. Using my air control coupled with the endless walking was exhausting to the bone.

"So what are you guys doing here?" Bob asked us.

"We're kind of on a quest," Sydney said. "Eros is missing and Aphrodite needs him back. He's down here, right?" Bob nodded much to all our relief. Had we come down here for nothing, I would've strangled Aphrodite at least ten times.

"You should sleep," Bob said, noting our tired expressions. "You've been walking too much. I'll keep the monsters away." I didn't even get the chance to nod in agreement before I collapsed into sleep.

~~~~~

The next day (I think) we headed out early. I personally just wanted to get the stupid quest over with and go back to the land of filtered drinking water and indoor plumbing, and I guessed the others felt the same way. Bob gave us some food for the trip. We didn't ask what it was he gave us, just took it gratefully, and said our goodbyes. We promised to let Percy and Annabeth know that Bob was doing well, and began to hike.

It felt like it had been hours, but it could have been minutes, or days, or even weeks for all we knew before we heard the first signs of Eros. It was a toddler's wail, like he hadn't gotten the pink unicorn and instead had to play with the purple one (ridiculous analogy, I know, but bear with me. It's been a long day.)

"Sounds like a lost love god," Jenny muttered, and we continued our trek through the uneven terrain.

After a long while of silently hiking, we finally came to some valley-ish sort of formation. And lo and behold, right in the middle-sat Eros.

I was rather disappointed. He was not, in fact, wearing only a diaper like you see in cartoons. And he was also not a baby by any standards. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, with his white, angelic wings folded neatly behind him. He had his bow in his lap and his head was hung. The comical sobs still emanated from his hunched figure. As we got closer, I cleared my throat loudly. He looked up, rather surprised to see three kids in the death hole with him.

"Hey, Eros, right? Yeah, so we're here to rescue you, I guess..." I had no clue what to say to this guy! "So, uh, let's go!" Eros just sat there, staring at us with a saddened, forlorn expression.

"Uh, question," Sydney leaned closer to me and Jenny. "Why does he look like someone ripped up his favorite toy, stuck it in a paper shredder, and threw it in a bonfire?"

"It's the river," Jenny muttered. "The River Cocytus is the river of lamentation, and Eros must've fallen into an intense state of misery from prolonged exposure to it. I don't know how long he's been around the river, but if he's there much longer, he'll probably go into a permanent state of depression."

"Lovely. How do we snap him out of it?" I hissed.

Jenny shrugged. "Slap him?"

"Talk about Psyche!" Sydney said excitedly. "Wasn't the myth about Eros falling in love with Psyche?" Jenny and I nodded.

"Awesome plan," I said. "Now go execute it." Sydney looked a bit taken aback, but climbed down the sheer mountainside we were standing above and began to talk to Eros. He looked like he was listening, and then after a while he said something that made Sydney go tomato red in the cheeks. She mumbled something in reply, and whatever it was satisfied Eros.

Sydney turned to us and waved. My guess was she was saying it was okay to cross the river now. Jenny wordlessly climbed on my back, and I forced the air to lift me over to the other side of the river. Eros picked up Sydney and followed behind.

We landed a good distance away from the river before we began walking; there was no way I was going any closer to the Misery Stream or whatever it was. We all hiked in silence for a long time until we came within view of the cave out. There was only one problem, however. The exit was packed with monsters.

"Well, crap," I said. "Any ideas?" we all turned to Eros.

"What?" he asked, almost incredulous. "Why are you all looking at me?"

"You're a god?!" Jenny said, obviously irritated by his response. To be honest, we were all fed up with this guy. "Don't you have some fancy love arrows or something? C'mon, you can't possibly be that useless!" Eros began to go a bit red in the cheeks, from embarrassment was my guess.

"Oh, for Zeus's sake," I muttered. "How in Hades did you manage to become a god when you have this little skill?"

Eros gave us all a disapproving look, seemly over whatever embarrassment he'd had before. "I'm a god of love, you mortals. You know the whole "make love, not war" thing? Love gods tend to live by that."

"Uh huh," Sydney said under her breath, but just loud enough for me and Jenny to hear. "Great, so how about you don't get in our way and we will get us out of here, like the very capable people we are." She gave Eros a very pointed look, and I noticed the was still a bit pink from whatever it was Eros had said to her earlier.

"Peachy," I said, pulling out my pencil. "What's the plan?"

***

Never have I had so much fun bashing monster heads in. It was like a stress reliever, a way to take out all my anger on something. Monsters weren't really catching on to our killing spree either, which helped considerably. Between me and my staff, Sydney and her knife, and Jenny with her sword, we created a pretty large and clear path to the surface. Eros of course, was not helping. He was grumbling something about love gods and fighting and stupid mortals.

After what had probably been at least thirty minutes (but felt like ten), we finally reached the exit. It was surprisingly dark, but I suppose it had to fit the whole Tartarus aesthetic. We stopped at the threshold and turned to look at Eros.

"After you, your godliness," I said with a mock bow and gestured to the exit. Eros gave me a disdainful look and stepped through the hole, Jenny, Sydney and I following in his wake.

Hey guys! Sorry that took so long to update(I had some major health issues) but I did it!!!
So some of you may know we just hit 1000 reads!!! We are completely freaking out and you have no idea how much that means to us. Thank you thank you thank you for your support!
Love you all and thank you!
~Sparky, Brain, and Kelp Face