Baby Boom || Liam Payne <Complete>

Chapter 9: Thanks For Telling Me... It Means A Lot

I don't know how long I've been outside. Just sitting here on the balcony, thinking about my recent break down. I'm embarrassed to be honest with you. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life.

To let the boys all see me like that was terrible. They felt pretty bad because they eventually had to go to the meet and greet. Poor Niall was stressed, wanting to make sure I was okay. All the other boys were just as bad. I had to fake a smile just to at least give them some reassurance I was gonna be okay. I told them I was gonna leave, and that my stomach was 'hurting'. In reality, I just wanted to get away. Have some time to scold myself for what had just happened.

Like I said, I never was one to cry. After the stage I had after my brother's death, there was no point in crying for me anymore. I honestly couldn't channel that emotion anymore. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it. It was like I ran out of tears.

I remember when I was little, my grandpa had died and I would always ask my grandma why she was crying. She used to say, "Well love, when someone you love is gone, it hurts. And to let all that hurt out, sometimes you just have to cry." I would always respond with, "But it's so messy Nana. There's always snot that comes out of your nose and the water that comes out of your eyes is salty. When I get older, I'm never gonna cry."

My Nana just used to give me light chuckles when I would make that statement. However, she never failed to tell me the same thing over and over again. She would shake her head and say, "Don't bottle up your emotions and keep them locked up inside your heart Jess. Otherwise, if you do, your heart will turn cold."

I would think she would always just say that to try and scare me. But now I understand what she meant. My heart may not have turned cold, but I did keep them bottled up. I would hold back the tears, keep them from pouring out. I guess if you keep them bottled up for too long, you just hit the breaking point eventually. I've never let myself go like I had with the boys. I've never done it with Ken, Ms. Reeds, no one.

Is it a coincidence, though, that the boys I've grown so close to within a matter of a week, were the ones there to witness me break? Were they the ones that had finally tore down my walls? I don't know but what I do know is that, something inside me has changed since these boys were brought into my life. Almost like they filled the empty whole that's been vacant in my heart for a while now.

After, I actually took what Zayn said into consideration, I accepted the fact that these lads do care about me. Ever since my break down, they've been coming to check up on how I'm doing and how Jakob is doing. They don't stay long, they're jam packed with their gigs and meetings that they have. Even though they're on break. I'll let them stay until however long they could though and let them vent out to me about their frustrations and problems. I've noticed Liam's becoming very distant with me though. Like the other day, all the boys had come to my flat and we were just talking. Liam was unusually quiet and I was becoming concerned. He was usually the one that asked me a crap load a questions and just talked to me in general. Though, yesterday it was as if he was ignoring me on purpose. All the boys would give me sympathetic looks whenever I'd ask him a question and he'd just cut me off. Liam never acted like this.

As I stare out at the bustling people in the streets, my feelings have been getting the best of me. I've noticed how much of an impact it was on me when Liam was ignoring me yesterday.

Did I do or say something wrong?

I'd come to a decision to take up the offer Zayn had told me about when I just needed someone to talk to. I got up off the ground near the railing of the balcony and walked back through the glass sliding doors of my apartment. Jakob was laying down on the living room couch with Wi-fi laying down on the floor, watching him. I guess he had fallen asleep while watching Ice Age. I smiled at the sight in front of me and made my way to the kitchen phone.

I hesitantly picked up the phone as I dialed Zayn's number. It was a while until he actually picked up. I was gonna hang up until I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

"Um, hey Z..."

"Jessie? Oh hey! What's up? You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah! No, I'm fine. I was just wondering if you're busy cause I kinda needed to talk to you." There was some bustling on the other line, and faint whispers.

"Alright, no problem."

"Huh? You're gonna say 'yeah' just like that?"

"Well I'm not gonna just turn you down either. Now can you please open the door."

"Wha-" I was cut off by knocking on my front door. I hung up the phone and ran to get the door. I swung it open and I see a certain Bradford lad standing there in a leather jacket and jeans.

"Zayn!" I yelled and jumped into his arms. He stumbled back a little and laughed.

"Hey Jay!" I pulled back and frantically called him in.

"Come on let's go out to the balcony yeah?" He nodded. As we passed the living room, he saw Jakob and gave a sweet longing look to what he saw. "He's a cutie, you know."

"Oh yeah, I know..." I giggled. I opened the big glass doors, and slid them closed. Leaving a slit, just in case Jakob wakes up. When I turned around, Zayn was already sitting on the edge of the balcony. I slowly made my way over to him, my breathing quickening just thinking about the possible answers to the one question that had been bugging me all day. I made myself comfortable right next to Zayn and watched as the sun shimmered in the perfect, clouded skies.

"What was on your mind that made you so nervous just to ask me to come over when I've been over like a gazillion times already?" Zayn queried. I sighed and thoughtfully bit my lip.

Ugh! Should I even ask? Maybe something personal happened and Liam just didn't want to tell me? I don't want to stick my nose into his business. This is so frustrating.

I looked over at Zayn and decided to wing it, for now. As I asked my question, I turned my gaze back to the un-disturbed blue skies.

"Have you ever had someone really close to you, start getting more distant and distant each day? And, you wanna try to help but they just push you away?" I asked. Since Zayn didn't respond right away, I could tell he was onto me as he pondered what I just said.

"This is about Liam, isn't it." Aaaaaand, there it is. I sighed.

"I wish you didn't know me so well." I muttered glumly. He laughed, then sighed.

"Listen Jess, the boys and I all don't know what's going on either. We've noticed how he's been avoiding you as well. That's not him. He's always on his phone now and goes out without letting us know. Something's up."

"What do you think's going on?" I asked.

"Honestly, we all have a hunch...... but we don't know if it's true!" He exclaimed. I nodded, hinting for him to go on. He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.

"Has Liam ever acted more than friendly to you Jess?" Zayn asked. I was totally lost at first.

What does this have to do with anything?

"Well, I really don't know..." I trailed.

"Do you have feelings for Liam? As more than a friend?" My breathing stopped for a second, eyes going wide. I quickly recovered though, and cleared my throat. I looked away from Zayn and said, "No. Why would you ask such a thing." He half laughed, half sighed.

"Jessie, it's okay to tell me. Harry, Louis, Niall, and I could see the way you look at him." I looked at him with big eyes.

"It's not that obvious is it?!" I screeched.

"No, no. Well, obviously since Liam is oblivious to the fact that you do like him." Zayn smirked. I smacked his arm.

"I never confirmed anything!..... But I will now however. So, yes. Yes, I do like Liam. You happy?" He just gave me a smile, but this smile didn't reach his eyes.

"What's wrong? Why're you giving me that look?"

"You know how I said the boys and I think we know what Liam's doing?" I nodded. He continued, "Well, we believe he's seeing someone. But nothing's set in stone yet!"

But, it didn't need to be set in stone. All the signs were already there. Liam sneaking out. Not telling the boys where, though. Always on his phone. It's obvious.... there's a girl in his life, and that girl isn't me.

Zayn had been trying to tell me it may not be true, but I've been through this process before. I stopped Zayn's unwanted rambling by holding up my hand. I slowly brought it back down to my side and stared at the setting sun.

"Have I ever told you about my past love Zayn?" He shook his head.

"Would you like to hear about him?" I asked. He nodded.

"It was about a year ago, when I was 18, I met this guy named Tyler. He was a handsome lad, with black hair and misty grey eyes. I met him while I was searching for a new book at the bookstore, that I had hit him with the door on my way out." I laughed at the memory and my clumsiness. Zayn chuckled as well.

"I remember crying because I felt so bad. So, instead of me comforting him, he had to comfort me while I was just trying to explain how extremely sorry I was. He had forgiven me, but he wanted to see me again. We met up many times after. And I can safely say, I had fallen truly and incredibly in love with Tyler after about 4 months of dating him. He was the only one I ever thought about spending the rest of my life with. In my eyes, he was perfect. I could see us on the playground, running around chasing our kids. I was so honest with my feelings towards him because he said he shared the exact same ones. But, I was to blind to see the signs that were right in front of me that I wasn't the one he loved." I stopped and looked at Zayn. He looked straight back at me with a sympathetic look.

"He was my first everything Z. My first kiss. My first date. My first best friend. My first one to share my love both physically and mentally." I laid back so I was facing the stars and continued.

"But you wanna know what the sick thing is?"

"What?" I turned so I could look at his cross legged figure.

"I believed every lie he told me. Yeah, I didn't know he was lying to me at the time but I did have my suspicions. But I just dismissed them without a second glance. That is, until one day, my suspicions were confirmed. I showed up to the flat we shared, only to find him at the door with a beautiful girl. She had blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She had a very slim figure and everything about her was beautiful. Her legs were like long sticks. Just, everything was perfect. He had told me I was ugly, fat, and stupid and that he was leaving. I couldn't blame him though, you know? She was the one one with more money, better looks, and an amazing guy. Where as I had nothing but a flat and my college funds to pay off all by myself."

Zayn was looking at me with such a disbelieving look. He just shook his head while his eyes were staring at me while I gazed up at the stars.

"Jessie, I admire you, you know that?" I scoffed.

"Why?"

"You've been through so much in your life and yet you were strong enough to go through all this. Was John alive when you met Tyler?"

"Yeah. After Tyler left, me and John decided to move in together. That way I could see him without having to go all the way to Manchester and he could get to his job faster. Boy was he about to rip someone's head off when I came hysterically sobbing at his door 3 hours away at 10:00 o'clock at night." I laughed.

"He should've."

"Should've what?"

"Ripped that douche's head off." Zayn smirked. I shook my head and giggled.



"Nope. It wouldn't be worth the struggle." I sighed contently. It was quiet for a while. All you could see was the bright London lights and cars beeping and honking at the traffic. All you could hear was the light buzz of the electric lines and the snores from Jakob in the living room. All was quiet, until Zayn broke it.

"I really don't think it's true though Jessie. It was just a guess. Who knows? He could just be seeing friends or family." I nodded, standing up from the warm balcony floor, dusting myself off. Zayn stood up as well, grabbing his phone from the floor.

"I believe I should get going." He said. I gave him an appreciative smile and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, spinning me. I giggled as he set me back down on the floor, slightly dizzy. I walked back to the door, waiting for him to appear since he went to go give Jakob a goodnight kiss on the forehead. I swear he is turning soft.

A couple of minutes later, he came walking through the door and out into the hall, looking back at me.

"Thank you so much today Zayn."

"It was absolutely know problem, love. I'm glad I could help."

"Well I'll see you boys tomorrow! Same dressing room and everything right? Nothing magically moved from the last time I was there?" He laughed.

"I don't believe so?"

I laughed and watched as he went back into the elevator, waving to me before the doors closed. I sighed and went back into the living room picking Jake off the couch and bringing him to his room. I laid him down and pulled a blanket up to his chest. I gave him a light kiss on the cheek and turned out the lights. I went back into the living room, Wi-fi was still knocked out cold. Loud snores erupted from her mouth. I chuckled lightly and tip toed past her. I closed the glass door and locked the front. I turned out all the lights and headed up the stairs to my bedroom. I took off my clothes, leaving me in my underwear. I threw a Beatles shirt over my blue lace bra and it reached under my panties to my mid thigh. I was to lazy to put PJ pants on so I just got under the covers and let sleep take me away to a place where I can't be hurt.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

"Nuh-Uh! There is no way in Hell Gale is better than Peeta! Gale is just jealous Peeta is way hotter than him!" I exclaimed to Eleanor. The boys watching us in amusement.

"Gale is too! He has a body Peeta would die for cause he's to much of a twat to work for it!" El exclaimed from the computer screen.

We've been bickering like this for quite a while now. The Hunger Games just happened to pop up into our conversation and we're both trying to defend our 'men'. She likes Gale and I like Peeta. You can imagine how great this is going! *Note my sarcasm* Jakob was playing around with Zayn and Harry. Niall and Louis were recording El and I's bickering over who's better. As for Liam, well he was no where in sight. Me and El got quiet all of a sudden and she just watched Louis from the other side of the screen. She looked at me and smirked. I smirked back, knowing what she was thinking.

What? Great minds think alike.

She fake gasped. "Louis!"

"What? What happened?!"

" Baby, what's that one song that is saying something about when you're feeling lost and alone? You know the one..."

Louis immediately turned to me, narrowing his eyes with a knowing look. "Don't even dare." He warned me. I smirked.

I turned to look at El on the screen. "Wait? How does it go again El?"

"Erm, it goes something like, 'When you're lost and alone and you're sinking like a stone' or whatever."

"Does it sound like this?" I ran to one of the boys make up chairs and stood on top of it with one of Zayn's hairbrushes. I started singing.

"If you're lost and alone, and you're sinking like a stone, carry on! May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground! Carry ooooooooooon!" I sang loudly. Eleanor had joined and we were singing terribly together.

Our fun was cut short when we heard the sound of someone's throat being cleared. Me and El stopped and I looked at the doorway to see Liam standing with a beautiful girl next to him, holding hands. Liam looked around at everyone nervously and said, "Everybody, there's someone I'd like for you to meet."

I climbed down and joined the crowd in front of Liam and the girl. Louis was holding the computer so El can see. I rolled my eyes at Lou. Of course he would.

Liam stuttered nervously. "E-Everyone, this is Sophia Smith."

He just had to put a dramatic pause in between.

"My girlfriend."

I swear the world stopped spinning. Sophia squealed and launched herself at me, into a tight embrace. I looked around to see Zayn with a look of horror as he saw the girl Liam's with, hugging me. The rest of them mimicked his expression.

"You must be Jessie! I've heard so much about you!" I smiled as she pulled back from the hug. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all. It was Liam who was my problem right now.

"Hello Sophia! You're very beautiful!" I said, trying to steer away from the fact that she knew about me, yet I didn't even know she was living.

"Thank you! You're very pretty yourself!"

"Oh but I can't compare to you! Why don't you go say hello to the boys? I'm pretty sure they want to meet you too!"

"You're right! Now if you'll excuse me.." She happily bounded off to the boys and introduced herself. Zayn looked at me then behind me and I already knew who he was looking at. I felt Liam touch my arm and whisper, "Can we talk about this? Please?" I snatched my arm away and marched outside into the hallway where no one could hear us. I waited for him to close the door. He sighed and turned around.

"Look Jessie, I'm sor-"

"Was that your plan? Huh?! To just lead me on like I was nothing then act like nothing ever happened?"

"I wasn't trying to lead-"

"And all this time she knew about me yet the boys and I didn't know one damn thing about her or her existence?!" I roared.

"I'm sorry! I didn't want to tell you-"

"SO YOU WERE JUST GONNA LEAD ME ON UNTIL I FOUND OUT OR WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT THE CLUB HUH?! YOU REMEMBER THAT?! OR WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL AND HOW WE FELL ASLEEP THAT NIGHT?! WHAT'S THIS LITTLE GAME YOU'RE PLAYING? BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT TO BE IN IT?"

"IT'S NOT A GAME! I WAS JUST BEING FRIENDLY!"

"THAT'S A LIE LIAM! FRIENDS DON'T ASK OTHER FRIENDS OUT! OR SLEEP IN A HOSPITAL BED TOGETHER! I TRUSTED YOU LIAM! YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE I ORIGINALLY EVER TOLD ABOUT JOHN! AND YET YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR BROTHER LEFT YOU JUST TO GO DIE! HE PROBABLY DID IT TO GET AWAY FROM YOU AND YOUR MESSED UP LIFE!" He screeched. He stopped immediately after it flew out of his mouth.

"How. Dare. You"

"Jess, I didn't mean that."

"Don't call me Jess. Only my friends can call me that." I snapped. I turned on my heel and barged back into the dressing room. I picked up my purse and was gonna get Jake until I saw Sophie playing with him. He was giggling and she was smiling adoringly at him. I went to the boys and huddled them all up. "So I'm guessing you all heard?" They nodded.

"Did Sophia hear us?"

"No, she was in the other room at the time. Jess, I'm sorry he said that to you. It was totally uncalled for." Harry said.

"No. It's fine."

"No it isn't fine. I'm sure he didn't mean it Jess." Zayn added.

"You know, I wish I could believe that but the truth always comes out when you're angry."

I gave them all goodbye hugs and went to go pick up Jake.

"Come on Jake, time to go." I said as I picked him off the floor.

"Aw! He so cute! I don't know what I'm going to do the whole time during the concert without my play buddy." Sophia said. She seemed trustworthy enough. I liked her. She was nice and wasn't stuck up like most celebrity girlfriend's are. She'd be fine with Jakob. Plus, Lou (the stylist) was here with Lux. He hadn't played with Lux in a while. And I guess if she was gonna be around, Jake needed to get used to her.

"Would you like him to stay?" She nodded her head vigorously.

"Here's his diaper bad and everything. He likes to play with Lux and, by the looks of it now, you as well. He should be fine. I gotta go. Thanks for watching him Sophie." I said as I gave her a hug.

"No problem! He's a joy to have around."

With that I turned to head out the door. Liam was against the hallway wall, his head in his hands. Once he heard my footsteps he snapped his head in my direction and stood up.

"Jessie! I swear I didn't mean it! It was a total lie! I'm sorry." He said as he followed me to the end of the hallway exit. I pulled the door opened but spoke to him before I went out. My back faced him. I couldn't even look at him after what he said.

"You and I both know that's a lie Liam." I said. As I was about to close the door, I opened it so I could see his face. His eyes were rimmed with regretful tears.

"Oh yeah and thanks for telling me about your girlfriend Liam. Means a lot." I spat before closing the door, leaving him behind.

He was the one person I thought would never hurt me.

Man did he just prove me wrong.

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There it is guys! Sorry it took me so long! Hope you guys liked it. I just noticed how long it is to. LOL! Well, since it's a weekend, I'll be updateing again tomorrow! Wuv you guys!

<3 Angel