My Camelot Romance (A Merthur Fanfiction)

Chapter 29

(Stroke/Mental breakdown)

They found him in the showers three in the morning.

Merlin couldn't even remember walking down to the bathroom. He just remember staring straight ahead. His walk was slow and heavy and he could just hear his own voice repeating the same godamn thing over and over again. "My fault... My fault... My fault..." Nothing made sense and everything was blurry. His mouth was dry and his eyes was wet. His head was pounding and hurting and inside he would scream in complete silence. As he walked over to the mirror he couldn't even see himself. He just saw a dark shadow blaming him as much as he blamed himself. Everything. Every single thing that had happened was his fault. He hurts the ones he love, he brings pain to every life he involves himself in. He's a disaster and the world would be better off without him. He looked dowm at his hands but he couldn't feel them. just a prickling sensation. They hurt but at the same time were numb. Just as himself.

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Arthur did start to wonder where Merlin had gone. It had been an emotional day for all of them but it wasn't like Merlin to just wander of. Not that unexpected. And especially not in the middle of the night. After a while he decided to go to look for him. Arthur pulled on his pyjama bottoms and grabbed his red hoodie. He didn't want Merlin to be alone tonight. After Merlins usual shower he had offered to share a bed with him but Merlin reclined which was not at all like him. Arthur swallowed and pulled on his hoodie. As he stood up Gwaine stirred in the bed next to his. He rolled around and looked over at the blonde male that was on his way through the room. "Arthur? What's going on?" Arthur looked over at Gwaine. "I'm gonna see if I can find Merlin. Don't wait up." The sleepy boy scrunched his eyebrows together. He would offer to help but they all knew Merlin well enough to know that Merlin couldn't really talk to that many people when he was upset. And today had been a very emotional day for all of them although it was clear it hit Merlin the worst. Gwaine nodded and rolled back to sleep as Arthur walked out of the room.

On the way down the corridor he bumped into Gaius. The elderly man stopped in front of the blonde boy with a raised eyerow. "Arthur you're not suppose to be out of bed at this hour." Arthur nodded and accepted Gaius' raised eyebrow. "I know Gaius I'm looking for Merlin." Worry was imideately painted over Gaius' face. Merlin had skipped science and PE today which was not at all like Merlin. He had heard that Will had to leave which was hard for some of them. He knew Merlin and Will were close as well as Merlin and Arthur. And Merlin had already lost one friend and possibly soon another so it wasn't so strange that he was that upset. Gaius sighed and he nodded firmly. "I'll help you find him." The two of them would wander up and down stairs, in and out of rooms until Arthur suddenly realised where the boy obviosly must be. He walked down a flight of stairs and turned a left toward the bathroom. "Merlin?" He yelled but no one  answered. Three sinks was on and one of the showers was running. He walked in to the showers and found Merlin sitting under the water with his back leaned up to the wall all soaking wet. His eyes was closed but it didn't look like he was sleeping. The second Arthur saw him the world was suddenly moving in slow motion. Like there was only one thing he could think in that moment.

"Get To Merlin."

He ran over to his side. Arthur pulled Merlin away from the shower and getting wet in the process. But he didn't care. He leaned Merlins head to his chest and his back to his leg. He started shaking the boy and would say his name. Each time louder and louder and more desperate than the last time. But he didn't get a respond. Not a word not a sound. Nothing. Arthur was crying worse and worse for each time he called out his boyfriends name and soon he could barely say anything for his sobs was in the way. He hadn't even notice that the water from the sinks had stopped running. He looked up and saw Gaius turn off the shower and leaned down next to Merlins unconscious body. He held his thin wrist and tried to find a pulse. Arthur could clearly see that although Gaius was trying to remain calm he was scared as hell. Merlin was like a son to him and he cared for the boy. "He's alive but we need to get him to a hospital now!" Gaius was almost yelling. Arthur didn't even think twice before he wrapped his arms under Merlins legs and arms and lifted him into the air. He was a little heavier when he was soaking wet but he was still easy to lift. "Get my father and ask him to bring the car!" He yelled as he carried Merlin out of the room.