Denial

ch. 27

Calling an uber to pick me up at the unknown street where Justin decided to drive us through, the whole ride was filled with me freaking out in my head. I have no clue as to why im like this or why the fuck I was having wet dreams about Harry when I claimed I hated him so much.

After being dropped off at my beach house, I went straight to the lonely beach. It was quarter to 7, the air was crisp and the waves were slow and steady. I sat down and just stared at the sun make its way through the sky.

Love is the worst. Knowing the other person doesn't feel as strongly as you do, is just pure disappointment. I get angry at the fact that I can't control who I'm attracted too or who I think about. Right now, I wish more than anything that Justin is the one, he's so sweet and he makes me laugh. Harry, Harry's just full of surprises. He challenges me, he looks out for me, he protects me. It's ironic actually, he protects everything but my feelings, it's like he doesn't even fucking care. But then i think about last night, when HE was the one who was making the move and leaning in to what I assume was a kiss. Why would he try to kiss me if he didn't have some sort of feeling for me? Why would he try to kiss me, while he has Emily? Oh god no. Emily. He tried kissing me while he's dating my best friend.

Oh my gosh this is so fucked up

I say mentally while grabbing my head with my hands. I don't know what to do. He didn't kiss me, so technically he didn't really "cheat" on her, right? No Scarlett, he had the intention you have to tell her. What if it didn't mean anything to him? Maybe it isn't such a huge deal.

All this debating with myself is tiring, I sigh and lay back on the warm sand and I close my eyes. It's so relaxing, feeling the sand between my toes and my fingers. Hearing the waves lightly crash into shore, breathe scarlett, everything will be okay.

I lay there for what seems like eternity, when I feel someone sit down next to me. I leave my eyes closed, afraid of who I'm going to see when I open my eyes. So I wait for whoever is there to start talking.

"Not that it's any of my business, but you okay there?" I hear the raspy low voice speak. It's him. I open one eye and look over at him. He's wearing his white Rolling Stones shirt, black skinny jeans and I look to see that he's taken off his shoes. Those curls, those chocolate looking curls that fall down to his shoulders. Swoon.

"Mhm" I hum while going back to my original position. It's nice being in his presence, it's almost like a protective aura I feel whenever I'm around him. Obviously, when I'm around him and we're arguing I feel like walking away. But not now. Not ever.

"Look Scarlett, I need to address this even though you don't want too" he slowly says. I know what he's going to say. Please don't say it. I don't want to know whether or not he liked the fact that he was about to kiss me. It's just a kiss, can't we just move on?

I look over to him showing him that he has my attention. He looks down at my figure and then looks back out to the ocean. He sighs and then looks down at his jeans. What is he thinking?

"I was intoxicated. I was aware but i wasn't completely sober. It shouldn't have happened."

Well. That's how it feels then, heartbreak. There is my signal that he really doesn't like me in that way, now I know that I need to leave whatever feeling I have for him behind. Fuck this.

"No, I totally understand. I feel the same" I smile at him while standing up to sit. He looks over at me, but what I see in his eyes is something that I've never seen before. Resentment? Guilt?But for what? For who?

"I should get back, pretty hungry" I chuckle to him as I get up and collect my stuff.

"Why are you still in the same dress as yesterday? What happened? Where's Justin?" He asks with a worried expression while looking around as if he expects Justin to pop out.

I can't tell him. Hell no. Think Scarlett, think.

"We came back pretty late. Been here ever since. He uh- he had to get to a meeting so unfortunately he isn't here" I lie with a half smile. He frowns but then nods and he walks with me back to the beach house.

Relax Scarlett, it's just Harry.

Harry's Pov.

Of course I didn't regret my attempt to kiss her. And if it weren't for the prick boy, I would've gotten that chance. But I had to lie to her, she's seeing Justin and I can't let my father down.

I can't put my finger on it though, when I'm not with her it's so easy to say that I hate her and I'd destroy her and her family. But when I'm with her I'm full of, joy. I melt under her gaze and I can't seem to let myself break her, or the people she loves. She's in the way of the reason why I came here, and it doesn't bother me as much as it initially did. I have to do something about this, I can't watch her break because of a guy who only wants to get into her pants.

And that bullshit story she told about why she was on the beach on her own, with the same dress as yesterday I don't believe one bit. Something happened and it keeps bugging me, trying to figure out the real reason.

"How's Emily?" I hear her quietly ask as she pours herself and myself a cup of tea. I don't really care at this precise moment, and I honestly don't know. I haven't met up with her in a bit.

"Yeah she's fine. You guys should really make up, this is all getting childish. You girls aren't in high school anymore" I say while sipping on my tea. She looks over and nods.

"I know, I know. I just- I said some rude things and I'm not the best at apologizing." She says griping her cup and looking down at it taking interest. It doesn't surprise me, she's always seemed like the type to think she's right all the time.

"Do you care about your friendship with Emily?" I ask trying to get her attention. She looks up and looks at me as if I just asked the dumbest question ever.

"Of course, she's been there for me for as long as I can remember" she states as if it's an inevitable fact. I nod.

"Then let your pride go and apologize, it's quite easy princess. I promise" I tell her and reach over and put my hand on top of hers. She looks at my hand and then she looks at me with her cooing big brown eyes.

What are you doing to me Scarlett?