Denial

ch. 46

'It was you, it was you all along
and I'm one to blame for not seeing that sooner'

As much as I wanted to hate him, as much as I wanted to hate her; I couldn't. I couldn't be upset over such a beautiful happening, I had no say due to the fact that they are together. Although, it would be a road block in my reign, well our reign, that we wouldn't acknowledge to our people, I wouldn't spend the rest of my life affected by it.

"W-what?" I stutter, rebalancing my focus on the words he'd just spoken.

"I- fuck I know I should've told you but that's why I went into your bedroom earlier but I-"

"I didn't let you. I started something I shouldn't have, and now I deal with it. I'm truly happy for you, for the both of you" I cut off, biting my tongue from spilling any unnecessary words, or feelings.

He sighed, raking his hand through his now unruly hair making his way to the doorway. As he strolled towards it, I felt everything vanish, all of the feelings and unspoken words were now worth nothing. The undeniable attraction I felt, that we felt, was just that; an infatuation.

"Please go back to your bedroom, I'll have the help clean up the broken glass. I'll deal with all of this" He murmured before staring at my tiresome figure. I knew what he meant though, he was going to face my mother and I knew she wouldn't take it lightly.

"You know, I could- I could uh help you with mother. She can be a bit unreasonable and I know how to deal with her" I offer, my voice light afraid that I may be passing any kind of boundary. It's funny, now that I know the situation, it's only affirming that I need to keep a safe distance from him.

"Your understanding is enough, it's fine" He smirks. I nod, pulling my hands against my stomach and turning towards the room now. The knot in my stomach threatening to spill only increased, feelings as if I'll break at any moment.

"And Scarlett?" His voice chimes in. I turn towards him with a hum, his lean figure leaning against the wall with that smug look I've grown so accustomed too looks back at me.

"Everything will be okay yeah? You'll get your studio back, I promise" He winks.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Styles" I murmur with a slight smile, and with that he was gone.

I hate this, I hate the fact that every time something intervenes between what could've been between us, we both seem to hide it. We ignore the pink elephant in the room and we pretend as if what we had weren't what we wanted. But I blame myself, I had many chances where I could've just spilled it all, times when he was actually there for me.

"Scar? You okay in here?" Ems voice shocks me out of my recurring state. I wasn't expecting her to be here, at all, but I'm sure Stacey rung her in.

"I'm fine" I mumble, picking up what I could from the ground.

"Scar, talk too me. I'm your best friend, you seem to keep forgetting" Her voice now laced in sorrow. I roll my eyes at my own lack of sympathy, I knew she didn't see our friendship how it was when we were younger.

"Em, it's really nothing. Kendall, she had an episode and well this was the outcome" I say nonchalantly, shrugging her focus to the evident mess.