Denial

ch. 37

I'm frozen in place as I slowly stiffen, looking straight towards my mothers' nonchalant expression towards the crowd; Only raging my emotions.

If this is how it's going to be. Let it be Scarlett. You said yourself that If she chose a suitor then you'd comply, Harry is no exception.

I sigh wish a smile and look over at a shocked and outraged Harry. I'm just glad he seems to feel the same, maybe then we can settle this to be just strictly business; Just how I had issued it. Play the part.

I grab Harry's hand and intertwine our fingers tightly, leading us towards the position my mother was now in place. If this is how she wants to play, by all means, I'm down for the win. I grab the mic from her hand, whilst giving her a sarcastic smile. I sigh. Make this good Scarlett.

"Thank you mother, for that lovely introduction to our engagement. To everyone who's here as well; Id like to give a warm thank you, for all of the support and kind words I've received from each and everyone of you. Although I admit, most unexpected but I'll be forever grateful. Thank you" I say with a curtsy and hand the mic back to Elizabeth.

I keep my hand in Harry's as I unknowingly make my way to the garden for fresh air before I pass out. I don't notice him still behind me until he brings me into a complete halt once we're outside, he grabs me by the shoulders and forces me to face him. He looks angry and overwhelmed, but once he sees me in my first ever panic attack, his face softens and he just brings my head into his chest.

"Scarlett, we can make it through this. You can make it through this. I know this isn't what you want at all, and trust me I don't want it if you don't, but if it's for the betterment of your reign than I'm more than willing" He coos as he's left rocking us back and forth. In some odd way, it relieves me to know that he doesn't hold any resentment towards me for this, that he doesn't hate me for having no choice in leaving Kendall.

"It seems to be that I'm the one who's sorry now. I knew my mother would pull an insane stunt like this, but I shook it off thinking I was some sort of delusional. I should've come to you to at least warn you, I just- I just can't get over the fact that she'd do something like this to me" I say between hiccups and stifles. My father wouldn't have accepted this, he would've wanted me to become queen when I were ready, not when she thought I were. But my mother was always one to choose her reign and upheld power over her own flesh and blood.

"I understand now" He says grabbing me from my cheeks and holding it a few inches from himself with a kind expression. But me in the other hand, I have no clue as to what he's referring too.

"You understand?" I hold the sentence with a confused tone.

"How you were so tired, stressed. I understand now, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and instead; should've asked you what was really in that pretty little head of yours" He chuckles as he pokes at my head softly before pecking a chaste kiss on my head before resting his ontop of mine.

In this exact moment, I'm glad that it's with Harry that my mother suited me with only because now he seems to understand fully why it's such a huge deal to me. One thing is for sure though, I cannot and will not fall for Harry once again. And that's a promise. I will do as I should, for my people, but I will not fall in love with someone who will only hurt me.

"What-what about Kendall?" I stutter, afraid to blow any nerve with Harry towards the unfolding situation. He coughs uncomfortably as he slowly unravels himself from my grasp, the warmth he radiated now completely gone.

"Well, I managed to provide her with an apartment due to your mothers request. She had decided that it wasn't a 'good idea' to take in an unknown, which I didn't understand at the moment but now I see why she changed her mind so last minute" he mutters whilst scratching the back of his neck. So, they're still together, why else would he willingly provide her with an apartment? Plus, he didn't mention anything about their separation.

"Will she be visiting the castle? To see you I mean" I ask, earning a hopelessness expression from him. He sighs before brushing his hand through his lock of curls ever so elegantly.

"That's yet to be discussed with her and Elizabeth, but I presume so; I hope so I mean, felt terrible to kick her out like that after a couple days of moments well spent you know?" His face now turned towards the castle, hearing the music and movements of the people still inside. The words he spoke so casually, hurt more than words would ever be able to describe but it only comes to show that he only sees me as someone he's forced to hold a friendship with at the least; Due to the situation he was pushed into.

Bring yourself together Scar, don't let them see.

I sigh, then plaster a sympathetic smile on my face whilst pulling Harry back to look towards me. His face inches from mine once again, looking down at me with an worried expression. I unknowingly caress his cheek, earning himself to sign and close his eyes with my touch.

"Shall we get back?" I whisper towards him, wanting this moment to never end.

"Wouldn't want to keep them waiting, now would we love?" He says smiling down towards me and grabbing ahold of my hand, walking us to the garden door leading to the ballroom.

"You ready?" My eyes fixated on the garden doors, whispering in an almost inaudible voice. I feel his hand squeeze my own, reassuring me.

"More than I'll ever be" He murmurs with a sigh, opening the double doors to reveal a massive room full of hundreds of people, watching our every move.