If I Mean Anything To You (Fuenciado)

Saving Myself For You

Vic POV

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I must've cried myself to sleep, because I woke up late in the afternoon. My headache had slightly disappeared and Jaime was asleep next to me. His chest rose and fell slowly. I debated with myself on whether I should get up or just lie there in Jaime's arms. I liked the latter. But my growling stomach had other ideas. Gingerly, I lifted Jaime's arm from around me and slid out of bed. He really was such a beautiful being. I went to the bathroom and did my business, when I was washing my hands, I realized that the trash can was gone. Where was it?

Oh that's right, it's next to my bed because Jaime had put it there for me to throw up in. I dried off my hands with a hand towel and took the bathroom's trash can back to it's rightful place. I had been a mess. Not even a okay, slightly attractive one at that. It was probably an ugly sight. The front lounge was quiet so I figured no one was in there. I went in and saw that Mike, Tony and Rian we're all in there, but were on their phones.

Why bother them? So I went to the cabinet and made myself a bowl of cereal. But as you know, cereal isn't quiet. The moment the cereal clanked against the bowl, all three pairs of eyes shot to me.

"Hey, you're up, how ya feeling?" Rian asked me with a grin. I shrugged.

"Fine. How're you?" I asked him back politely. I opened the fridge to get milk out, only to find that we didn't have any. Defeated, I closed the fridge and decided to eat the cearal dry.

"Good. We were worried about you last night." Rian said to me. Why were they worried? I had just gone out for a few drinks...okay maybe more than a few.

"Huh. You didn't have to be worried." I told me. I filled my mouth with dry Frosted Flakes.

"We hadn't known where you'd gone." Rian went on. I saw Tony give him a look. "Nevermind."

"It's okay. When are you guys playing today?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"I think around seven. But we have a signing an hour before." Rian said to me.

"Hey, Vic, is Jaime up?" Mike asked me. I shook my head, my mouth full of dry flakes. "Okay, hey, Rian, you want to show me that solo you were working on?" Rian instantly perked up.

"Hell yeah, it's loud and almost done." Rian stood from the couch, sliding his phone into his pocket. Mike stood as well and both drummers left the bus. Tony glanced at me.

"You know, Jaime's been really worried about you." Tony mumbled quietly. I nodded. "He didn't sleep last night, either."

"I know." I told him.

"Do you?" Tony asked me, he looked up at me. "Because it seems like no matter what, you still keep him in the dark."

"I told him everything, okay? He knows."

"Hm? Will the rest of us know? Or is it personal?"

"I dunno. You'll probably figure it out, sooner or later." I stood from my seat and rinsed out my empty cereal bowl and slid it into the sink. Tony fell silent. I knew that there was more that he wanted to say, but wasn't sure how to phrase it. So, I waited patiently for him to say whatever was on his mind. He opened his mouth, ready to speak.

"I know how you feel, Vic. You're not alone, even if you feel like you are. I'm here for you, okay?" Tony said to me, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't say anything else, but instead went to the back of the bus, his words ringing in the air. It felt like there was so much truth and understanding in his words. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone else. Tony should never feel this way, but he did, and I honestly don't think I could make it go away.