If I Mean Anything To You (Fuenciado)

Get Back To Me Someday Pt. 2

Vic's POV

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I was pathetic.  Irrevocably pathetic. And what was going to change that?

After numerous rounds, I was past tipsy and thinking clearly. I had forgotten why I'd originally started drinking, but I did remember that I was a useless piece of shit. Why would any person put up with me? How had Jaime put up with me?

With my disgusting arms..and scars, they lined my arms in dark, disgusting lines. People wondered why I wore bracelets on my arm. It was to cover the scars. I knew what it felt like to feel alone. To want to die.

Oh how I had wanted to die. I was so drunk, I was self-loathing. Depression and alcohol aren't a good combination. I stumbled out the bar and out into the night. Across the street, I could hear the music pounding from inside the club. I managed to avoid being hit by two cars as I crossed the street. I didn't want to go home all drunk again. I knew that Jaime was disappointed in me when I'd last done that. I was walking along the sidewalk, probably resembling a homeless man.

How had I let myself get this far? How could I have possibly not just let everything go? What stopped me? The same thing that had prevented me from.dying the last go round; Jaime.

But he wasn't there right then. I could see trees in the distance. Evil, painful thoughts filled my mind upon the sight. I had to go back. It didn't matter that Jaime'd be disappointed. I needed to live. No. I couldn't keep making people worry. If I left, they'd mourn for a while and eventually go on about their lives.

You know that feeling you get when you know your close to death? How your stomach tightens and your breathing picks up? How things seem to quiet  down and all you hear is your heart? I wasn't feeling any of that, as I stood on the edge of a stony ledge. Below the ledge lay more stones and boulders. No one was there to save me. No one would save me. Not this time. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

The sound of a twig snapping stopped me in my tracks. I turned slowly, hoping that it was just an animal or something. It wasn't. Jaime stood there. He had the most scared and worried look on his face. He was so beautiful, I was hindering him from being all that he could be.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him. I saw a tear fall down his cheek. I'd made him cry. What kind of heartless bastard was I?

"No. Vic, please, just hear me out. At least let me say goodbye." Jaime pleaded. I inched a bit closer to the edge. "Please?" I hesitated, but nodded slightly.

"Okay, go ahead." My voice sounded so hoarse. He took a small step closer to me.

"You know I love you, with all my heart. And you can't do this. If I'm hurting you, I'll let you go be with someone else. I just want you to be happy. And if you jump..then I'll jump too." On the last sentence, he sounded deathly serious. I couldn't live with the thought of Jaime being dead. How would anyone else? I dropped my head and and sobbed. I heard him step close to me and wrap his arms around me. And I of him. I wrapped arms tightly around him and cried into his chest. I was undeserving.

"I'm so sorry." I repeated over and over to him. He didn't say anything but just tighten his hold on me. I knew he was crying before I heard the soft whimpers. I had made him feel like that. I wanted to jump off that cliff. But once again, Jaime was there to stop me. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

He pulled back a little, but enough so that our lips could meet. He kissed me cautiously and gently.

"Please, stop scaring me like this." Jaime said pulling away to look into my eyes. I buried my face in his chest, a new wave of sobs overtaking me as I nodded.

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A/N I keep my promises :3