Contentions(A Liam Payne AU)

Chapter 19 - A Satisfying Pain

WARNING: This chapter contatins themes of self harm)

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“Wake up wake up wake up!” a high voice squealed, a small body landing on top of me with a large impact. My eyes flung open and my breath escaped from my chest, fear rising within me.

“Macie!” Liam chided loudly, his hands quickly plucking her off of me and setting her on the ground, his gaze worried.

“Are you alright?” he asked. “I told her to see if you were awake and she kind of took it into her own hands.” My sight flickered from the giggling girl to worried Liam, all air still trapped in my throat.

“Brinlee…” he said evenly, hand going to cup my cheek. “Breathe, baby. Don’t forget to breathe.” At that I took in a gasp of air, most of my fear evaporating with his gentle touch.

“I’m okay,” I blurted. “I-I’m okay, really.”

“I believe you,” he reassured, moving his palm to rest on my forehead. “Well your fever is gone. Do you feel any better?” I nodded, swallowing loudly and sitting up.

“Much better, thank you,” I said gratefully. “Listen…Liam, I-I was wondering if I can drop by and give my sister a visit today. I need to talk to her.” His jaw tightened and he struggled to keep his composure as he helped me out of bed.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, brin,” he said quietly. “Maybe in a couple of weeks, yeah? You have to give her some time.” As much I hated it, I nodded and let him guide me out to the kitchen, not a word spoken. He placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of me, moving to the fridge and pouring me a glass of milk before sitting beside me, eyes intent. I avoided his questioning countenance though, simply pushing the food around my plate as I contemplated everything that was happening. From my sister, to Liam, to the creep that had followed me to my car. It certainly sounded like a threat, but what did I ever do? My eyes grew wide and I swallowed loudly, hastily pushing away my plate.

“I’m not hungry,” I whispered, clutching my abdomen and leaning back in the chair. “I-I think I need to be alone.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, reaching out to rest his hand on my shoulder but I dashed away, tears stinging my eyes as I ran back to the guest room and locked the door, right before Liam reached it.

“Brin! What’s going on?!” he yelled, pounding on the door. “Please open up, you’re making me nervous, love…”

“Go away,” I choked, digging through my bag and finding the one thing I knew could make it all better. At the bottom, beneath all my clothes, was my blade, shiny and begging to slide across my skin. I hesitated for a mere second, knowing that I had been clean since I had come to live with my sister, but that only made my resolve strengthen; she didn’t want me…nobody wanted me. With that I dragged the cool metal across my hip, not wanting Liam to see the damage. Blood trickled down my fair skin and stained my pajama bottoms, but the pain easily offering a release to me. I bit my lip and went to cut again, pressing harder this time when the door was thrown open, my face going ashen with shock.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Liam screamed, his features twisting into shock as he stared at my exposed hip. He stormed forward and I whimpered, scrambling backwards in fear at his defensive stance.

“I-I’m sorry,” I whimpered. “P-please don’t hurt me, Li?” He quickly relaxed, a few sharp breaths being taken through his nose before he closed his eyes, stepping towards me, slower this time and resting on the bed.

“Hand me the blade, Brinlee,” he said softly, holding his hand out in request. I shook my head and clutched it to my chest, not wanting to give up the little comfort that it offered.

“I-It’s mine,” I whispered, bottom lip quivering. He seemed so torn as he slowly pulled my arms away from my chest, grasping my wrist in a firm grip.

“C’mon, hun,” he cooed. “Let me have it. I don’t want you hurting yourself anymore.” I looked at his sincere gaze, letting my hand slowly open and reveal the razor blade, tainted with blood. He quickly plucked it from my grasp and stood, his adam’s apple bobbing.

“I’ll be right back,” he said evenly. “Stay put.” With that he disappeared from the room, only a mere minute later, coming back with bandage and bottle of something.

“Lie down,” he requested, pressing my shoulder back to the mattress. He reached for the hem of my shirt and my cheeks flashed scarlet as I slapped his hand away. Amusement tinged his features and he bit the inside of his cheek to hide a cheeky smile.

“You’ll know if I’m trying something, baby,” he chuckled. You will know? Was he implying-

“Don’t overthink it,” he soothed. “Things will happen on their own time.” He was implying that we would-but I couldn’t-I haven’t-

“OUCH!” I screeched suddenly, pain shooting up my hip as he sprayed a disinfectant on it. His hands quickly pinned my torso to the mattress, his warm skin making me involuntarily shiver with the sensation.

“Wiggling around doesn’t help matters,” he said softly, his body going to straddle my lower legs as he bent down, his lips hovering over my stomach.

“Wh-what are you doing, Liam?” I squeaked as his breath fanned across my bare skin, my whole body tensing. He said nothing, but pressed a small kiss to my torso, slowly dragging his lips across the span of it before reaching my stinging hip. Gripping my sides a bit tighter, he blew out cool air onto the two angry red lines, helping push away the burning sensation.

“I-I..” I stuttered, eyes wide with a panicked curiosity. 

"I'd rather not corrupt you more then I already am," he snickered to himself,pulling away.

"I-I don't want anything-," I quickly shook my head, watching as he moved to methodically smooth a bandage over my hip and gave me a small smile.

“Trust me, baby doll, I won't...it isn't my place,” he murmured, leaning forward so our foreheads were touching. “You aren't mine yet....” With that, he pulled away and pressed  his lips to my forehead, almost as if to soothe the shock I was feeling,

“Now,” he began, taking my hands in his own. “I think we need to have a small talk about what I walked in on, yeah?”