Beautiful With You (Norman Reedus)

Chapter 20

I dried my hands as I went to the door, pulling it open to see Norman standing there with a couple of bags and a cup carrier. In the cup carrier sat two coffees and I was grateful for that. I could feel the exhaustion hitting me from cooking and then cleaning up but I pushed past it. I grabbed the carrier from him and moved to set it down on the coffee table, chuckling at the fact that coffee was now sitting on the coffee table. Norman raised an eyebrow at me as he closed the door, locking it like I usually do. I shook my head and flushed, not wanting him to know because I felt stupid. He set the bags down next to the coffee and took a seat on the couch. I sat next to him and wiped my clammy hands on my knees. I bite on my bottom lip and looked to him, not knowing where to start or even what to say. I knew we had to have this talk and to clear the air; if we wanted to have any semblance of a friendship we needed to do it. I sighed as I grabbed a coffee and handed it to him, taking my own and sipping at it. "Fuck," I cursed as I burnt my tongue and Norman chuckled before taking a deep breath and setting his cup down.

"Look," he started, "I am sorry. That is the first thing that I want you to know. I didn't mean to hurt you. I had met Katrina before we started talking and we were getting to know each other. I didn't plan anything with you but when we started talking it was like I couldn't get enough. Like you said I had fallen hard and forgot about Katrina until she came back into the picture. So I tried to give it a go but then she hurt you," he spoke and I knew, I knew that somehow he had found out about what Katrina had said to me and I'm glad he did, "I didn't like that. I broke things off with her and now we are here. I know that nothing will make up for what I did, but I hope that we can slowly move past it and work things out."

He took a deep breath and I could tell that he was nervous. He was biting at his thumb and all the while he talked, he used to his hands as if to emphasize what he was saying. I couldn't help but find his little habits cute and I sat back, still holding my coffee in my hand and chewed on my bottom lip, thinking over what I want to say to him.

"I thank you for explaining it to me. It hurt because I just don't sleep around with anyone, I have to have real feelings for them. It happened so quickly and then we had this amazing date and the next thing you know, you were breaking it off and going with Katrina. She confronted me and lied to you and turned you against me," I told him, speaking about my feelings and how I felt, getting it out in the open. I was glad that we were doing this and I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It felt good to talk it out and get our feelings out in the open. I watched as he reached for my hands, setting my coffee down I let him take them. He was being gentle and sweet and I couldn't help but smile at that, finding it endearing. I just wish that we didn't have all of this going on between us. I wish that I could just kiss him, make love to him and be there for him but I needed time. I didn't want space but just time.

We both sat there in silence as his rough fingers rubbed against my skin, gently brushing it back and forth. I couldn't help but smile as the feeling sent shivers through my body. I must have visibly shivered because he pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me. There was more to talk about but I just didn't want to interrupt this moment. I really liked him and hoped that maybe we would eventually get together. I just couldn't picture my life without him and it was shocking to say but it is what it was. He had slowly wormed himself into my life and I just couldn't see myself letting him go. I loved him, there I admitted it but I wasn't ready to admit it to him. I didn't want to be the first one but I didn't want to rush into anything. I felt his lips on my head and a smile crossed my face as I laid there against him. Both of us were quite comfortable and his fingers were back to dancing along my skin and causing goose bumps to rise again. "I like this," I spoke, "I really do and it's going to take me sometime to trust you again, but I can't lose you. You mean a lot to me." I let that sit between us as I looked at the wall across from me and I closed my eyes. I couldn't believe I had admitted that to him but he needed to know and I couldn't just let him not know.