Beautiful With You (Norman Reedus)

Chapter 32

Author's Note: This is one of the important chapters. Now don't hate me for what I had done but it is one of the only ways I wanted to show what it is doing to them. Like every couple, they need their alone time, I've learned that.  It makes me sad writing these chapters, but they just seem to come. Maybe there will be a silver lining, we will see! Maybe I'll even do a Norman's POV chapter again, so you all can see what is going through his mind. Thank you to Theycallmerae for really commenting and voting and pushing me to write.  Anyways onto the story.

The next morning I woke up in a horrible mood and I didn't want to see anyone. I could still feel Norman's arm around me and I pushed it away, my eyes heavy with sleep and not wanting to get up but something woke me up. I didn't know what it was but it was something. I made my way out to the living room and plopped down on the couch. I laid down and curled my feet under myself. The couch dipped and I looked to see Eye staring at me, his tail curled around his back legs, Poe coming to join us. I reached out and brushed my fingers over Eye's silky smooth fur and then Poe's, these two cats a constant in my life and I couldn't help but feel my annoyance fade away as the two cats began to move up towards me, purring on the way there. Soon I had both the cats curled against me, their purrs echoing through my chest cavity. They say animals could tell when someone is pregnant and I always wondered if it were true.

I continued to pet the two cats as I chewed on my lip, hearing Norman get up and I could feel the anger coursing through me and the dread of the fight that was going to ensue. I rubbed my face as I heard him groan and the sounds of him in the kitchen didn't relax me none. I knew he was trying to sober up by making coffee. I sat up and the cats shuffled but didn't leave my side as Norman stumbled his way to the couch and sat down, holding his mug with two hands so that he wouldn't spill any of the coffee. I watched as he sipped the bitter liquid that I found myself craving but I held off. Honestly I didn't want to be the first one to start the conversation, but I knew it was coming. He didn't look like he was going to start it either so we sat there in silence as I pet the cats as they purred and slept at the same time.

"I am sorry," he said once again, the three words that he had sad to me last night as he climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep. "I just didn't see any other kids. I don't know if I want to do it again. I love Mingus, don't get me wrong, but I am getting older and..." I honestly saw this coming and I didn't know if he was going to break up with me or tell me to get an abortion, either way maybe we just needed some time apart, some time to ourselves to do our own things, but where would I go? I had exams coming up, maybe after my exams I could leave. "I love you, Rae and I want an us, but can we talk about the options? I know abortion is out because I am against it, but there is always adoption." I looked to him as he told me that and I could see a look in his eyes, something that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"I want this baby," I started out, Norman having finished and was waiting for me. "I am sorry that you don't know if you can do it, but this is my first child and I can feel the attachment already. At first I was scared and didn't want the baby but I also can't see myself giving the baby up," my hand went to my stomach as I gave him a speech, one that I had thought about but it wasn't coming out right at all, but I was hoping that I was getting my point across. "If this is the end of us it's going to hurt. I just, I love you Norman and this is a piece of us," my voice rose with each word and I couldn't help but find myself trying to convince him. To get him to understand what I wanted and that I didn't want to give up either of them. He sighed as he set his now empty mug on the table and turned to me.

"Soon I will be leaving to go shoot The Walking Dead and I have a show to shoot also, plus my photography. I am not here all the time and I wouldn't be here for you and the baby. Do you think I like to leave Mingus as much as I do? I love spending time with my son but I don't know how I could do it with the baby, especially when he or she is young," He tried to reason with me also, but I didn't know what to do, his little speech wasn't changing my mind and it seems like we were all still stuck at square one. Neither of us said anything for a while, my hands clasped together as I thought about what I was going to say to him next.