Beautiful With You (Norman Reedus)

Chapter 24

I sighed as I set the blow dryer down on the sink in Norman's bathroom and ran a brush through it one more time. I looked into the mirror and grimaced because I could never do my hair like the lady did at the salon; no matter how many times I tried to do it. I set the brush down and chewed on my lip and shook my head. How was it that I didn't know how to do my hair? I am sure many other girls could do it and Norman would like them better than he would me. What if one day he doesn't want me? I tried to get a grip on my thoughts and I didn't know that silent tears began to fall down my cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Norman asked, coming and wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my cheek softly. One of his hands came up to brush the tears away and he looked worried. His eyebrows creasing together and a frown marring his face. I tried to give him a smile but it only came out awkward and strained. I couldn't tell him about my thoughts because I couldn't even decipher them and I didn't want to burden him. What if he thought that I didn't trust him? I do trust him, it's just the past that makes it harder to forget.

"I can't tell you," I whispered out, my voice low and I avoided his eyes at all costs. I knew that if I looked into them, I would break down. God why was I so emotional? I asked myself because usually I wasn't this bad. I didn't cry when the thoughts entered my head but for some reason, this time, I did. "Why?" He whispered, breaking me from my thoughts as he turned me in his arms and I bit my bottom lip. I could feel the words on the tip of my tongue and they were about to roll off but I stopped myself. I didn't want to unleash my problems on him, but I just shook my head. I couldn't think of a reason why I couldn't tell him and I regretted looking up at him. He looked hurt but he brushed it off when he saw me looking up at him. "Okay," was all he said before he pulled away, telling me what he had planned for today. He wanted to get some last minute things and we could start decorating once we had it. I nodded and frowned because I knew he was becoming distant. He walked out of the room and I groaned, "Fuck! Norman." I called and followed him.

He was out in the living room, looking through all the supplies we had picked up and ordered. I watched as he shuffled through the boxes and used the checklist that I had made. He made a check and continued onto the next box, each box marked with what category of decorations they are like table wear, hanging, and food supplies. He didn't even answer me and I ran my fingers through my newly brushed hair and shook my head. I could tell by the way he was clenching his jaw and the way his muscles tightened. I knew that I had to make it up to him and maybe, just maybe I needed to tell him. He could probably help me and shut the voices up in my head. I rubbed my face and stepped up to him, feeling his muscles flex when I put my hand on his shoulder. He pulled away from me and I frowned. "Why are you so mad?" I asked him, not knowing why he was doing this. Here I was thinking that we were getting somewhere and now he has to get mad. I was feeling confrontational right now but I didn't want to fight, but I deflated in an instant. Now I wanted to cry and I felt like my emotions were going haywire.

He sighed and put the checklist down, turning to me and I could see his eyes were a bit darker, but it wasn't with lust, "I feel like you don't trust me with your feelings and I get that. I know that I screwed up and I am really sorry for that. I never wanted to hurt you and I did. I just want to help you." His little speech made me feel awful and my cheeks flushed, feeling like a scolded child and I didn't mean to make him feel that way. Now I was feeling lower than low and I stepped up to him, cupping his cheek and running my thumb along it. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you feel that way but I had so much in my mind. Things that would probably scare you off and things I can't say out loud. It is my own demons," I told him and kissed him softly, trying to show him how much I care about him. I felt him kiss me back and I felt happy, like unbelievably happy.

He pulled back and smiled softly at me and I looked to him. I took in his handsome features and his soft blue eyes. I knew that I loved him and that he loved me, I just needed to learn to not think too much. I sighed and nuzzled into his neck, pecking on his neck gently. "Babe...we can't start that again," he said, a small moan falling from his lips. I chuckled and bit it gently, "Fine." I smirked as I pulled away and chuckled when he was going to catch me and I just danced out of the way. He smirked and chased after me, catching me before I could get away and swinging me over his shoulder. I squealed but then he stopped and set me down. I looked to him and he had a raised eyebrow as he looked at his hand. There was something dark and red there and I knit my eyebrows together. I didn't know what it could have been but he looked to me and cleared his throat, "You may need to go to the bathroom." It was all he said before he turned to wash his hand and I ran into the bathroom to see what he meant by that. I frowned and my whole face turned red, I had gotten my period. I should have known that I was going to get it because of my emotions and how up and down they have been. I quickly took care of it and threw out the bottoms and the underwear that I was wearing. I was thoroughly embarrassed and didn't want to come out of the bedroom, having changed into new pieces of clothing. God what does he think now? I chewed on my lip as I took my anxiety medicine that was on the nightstand.