Beautiful With You (Norman Reedus)

Chapter 35

Norman had finished filming the second to last episode of Ride and I could tell that he had a great time. I couldn't wait to see the episode but I would have to wait until the episode aired. Right now we were in our hotel room and the shower was going. I lay on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, my arm laying behind my head and I sighed. Louisiana is nice and I was able to explore while he was gone and I couldn't help but feel like I belonged there, like I fit in. We would have to come here more often than not. This place brought out another side of him and I and I truly felt like things were going to be okay and that maybe Norman is actually excited to have this baby. I had found him, earlier, with his hand on my stomach after our small nap. He didn't know that I was awake and he was talking to my bump and I couldn't help but smile at that. He called the blip his babygirl and I knew that is what he wanted was a girl and I tried to picture it. Wondering if she would look like me or her daddy, maybe a good mix.

The shower turned off but I continued to lay there, the bed comfortable and I didn't want to move. It was like heaven and my body was tired and my mind was tired. Our trip wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good either. We had our ups and down and yesterday was one of them. Norman was tired after coming to the room from filming and he just snapped. He said some things that he wished that he could take back but they were haunting me. Even thinking about it now made my eyes water. I never knew he could be so mean but I stayed with him because I love him, that would never change. He was a good person and he was just tired and I was nagging him about everything. I should have waited, I shouldn't have said anything. It was all my fault. I sighed as I rubbed my hand on my bump, hearing the bathroom door open but I didn't move my head.

"Hey babe," he whispered and moved towards me, the towel hanging low on his hips, his words having caused my eyes to move towards him and I gave him a small smile. I could tell that he knew what I was thinking about and a sad look crossed his face as he sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hands on the towel. I could tell he was nervous and that was one of his habits that he had. "I didn't mean anything I said last night. It was wrong of me," he muttered before pulling the towel from his body and getting under the covers. I knew this was something new for him, sleeping naked but I didn't find myself caring at all that he was. I slipped under the covers too and curled up into his side. Usually we would go out but I had wanted to stay in and Norman didn't feel like dealing with some fans right now; don't get me wrong he loves them but he didn't feel like battling through all of them just to have a good time. It was tiring for him and some nights he would come home drained and I could see the toll it would take on him.

"I love you, Norman and sometimes I wish that things were different," I told him. He knew what he meant and I heard him sigh as he wraps his arms tighter around me, not wanting to let go. My fingers played with the light hair on his chest and I couldn't help but notice he didn't say anything and I wondered if he was regretting some of our relationship. I could never regret the baby, no matter how it was conceived and that it wasn't planned. I just felt like it ruined things with Norman and I, we were so great before we found out. I wish we would have talked about it and planned it, than I would know that he wanted the baby. I hated not knowing and I hated the fact that he didn't want this right now.

We held each other as his fingers tickled up and down my back, my eyes getting heavy no matter how hard I was trying to fight going to sleep. I wanted to stay up and savor being in his arms but I couldn't and before I know it, everything went black and I was tired.

Norman's POV

I felt Rae's breathing even out and I smiled softly but it faltered a little bit as my mind whirled with thoughts and everything was hitting me at once. I was going to be a father again and I found myself embracing the baby, but yet I was still scared and I push Rae away when that hits. She doesn't deserve this but I want her and I do want this baby. It is going to be really hard with filming The Walking Dead, because I don't see that wrapping up anytime soon. She was going to be alone for three months with that and then there is Comic Con and that is a lot of travelling and she wouldn't be able to do that. I wouldn't put her through that and then I would have movies and everything else in between and this wasn't fair for her. I was there and all over the place and she was there missing me and raising our baby. The baby probably would think I am a stranger and not daddy. I put my head in my hands, after pulling myself up from Rae's arms gently not wanting to wake her up. I pulled on some boxers and went to the living area and sat on the couch, my head thrown back. I couldn't break it off with her but it was on my mind, if I was truly honest. She deserved to have someone that could be there.

As those thoughts went through my mind I went to make some coffee because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sleep with everything that is on my mind. I felt like my mind was crowded and I hated it.

"Fuck," I groaned and pulled out my phone, calling the one person that knew both Rae and I and would help me out. I heard the ringing of the phone as I poured some coffee into a cup and made it to the way that I liked. I heard his voice on the other end and spoke:

"Hey, Andy. I really need to talk to you."

Rae's POV

I groaned and opened my eyes, my head on the bed and the pillows bunched up at the top but Norman wasn't in here. I frowned as I remembered that he was there and that my head was on his chest but he just disappeared. Did he leave the room? Did he go somewhere? I couldn't help but feel insecure and thought maybe he went to find somebody else. That thought was quickly thrown from my mind because I knew Norman wasn't like that and he would never do that to me. I sighed as I got up out of the bed and made my way out the door where the smell of coffee hit me and I couldn't help but let out a soft moan. It smelled so good but I couldn't have it because of my doctor's orders and it made me sad.

I heard some talking in the living area and coffee was thrown from my mind as I made my way over to the archway and saw Norman sitting on the couch with his head in his hands as the words hit me, "I don't know if I can do this. She deserves better than me. I feel like I am not what she needs. I am just leading her on."

My eyes began to water andI blinked quickly trying to get my emotions together, although his words werestabbing me in the heart and I couldn't believe that he is saying these things.He doesn't want to be with me? That was the only thing I could think about as Iwent to the room and got dressed, not caring about my suitcase. I grabbed mypurse and threw it over my shoulder and walking out of the hotel room, not evencaring if he saw me. If he was thinking about breaking it off with me, then hehas another thing coming. I am going to leave him before he could leave me.There was only one place that I was going and that was to see my mom and talkto her. I sighed as I hailed a cab, glad that I have a card in my name and Icould use that. He owed me that. 

Author's Note:

I am sorry for the short length but this is where I want the chapter to be. IT is a turning point. I had debated on what I wanted to happen here, but I wanted more drama. Lol I think I like it too much besides, I love driving my girlfriend crazy and since it is going to be three years on Wednesday, I thought why not! Anyways what do you think will happen?   Also my story went from a low number of readers to 256, oh my goodness! Keep reading! Thank you everyone, I really love each and everyone!

Now I updated. It's your turn @Theycallmerae!

Also sorry for the pov changes, but I felt it was needed.