Love to Hate [1]

Not asking for a lot, just that you're honest with me.

Song: Mercy // Shawn Mendes

Nessa's POV

Well, the good news was we finally found Octavia. She had been chained up in a cave by some Grounder, but otherwise she was okay. The bad news was the Grounder put up a fight and ended up stabbing Finn. Ahead of me Jasper was supporting a limping Octavia and behind me Bellamy carried an unconscious Finn. We finally saw the wall surrounding camp. 

"Clarke! Where's Clarke!" Jasper shouted, pushing open the gate.

"I'm here, what's up?" Clarke jogged up to us. Jasper and I stepped aside as Bellamy carried Finn through. Everyone started talking at once, Clarke ran up to check his pulse.

"He's alive," she breathed.

"They wouldn't let me take the knife out," Jasper explained. 

"No, that was a good call," Clarke reassured him. "Get him to the drop ship," she commanded. Bellamy handed him off to three other kids and stepped back as they rushed him off. Clarke told Raven to fix the radio and then suddenly it was just Bellamy, Octavia, and I left standing there. Octavia turned to walk out of the gate but Bellamy stopped her.

"Hey, why were you defending him," he asked angrily, referring to the Grounder. Octavia had tried to stop Bellamy from killing him, insisting he hadn't hurt her and had protected her. I really didn't want to listen to this sibling spat but I also didn't have the energy to move. My vision kept going in and out as I stood there, leaning against the wall. 

"Because," Octavia explained defensively. "He saved my life. That spear that hit Roma was actually meant-"

"No, you're wrong," Bellamy cut her off. "I saved your life. For all you know he was keeping you alive just to use you as bait for one of their traps."

"No," Octavia insisted. "I don't think so."

"You don't think, O, that's the problem," Bellamy yelled back. "They killed three of our people today. And if you had let me kill him when I had the chance, Finn wouldn't be in there dying right now."

"Stop! Stop it!" she shouted at him. "Stop blaming me for your mistakes!" I really did not want to hear this argument anymore but I honestly couldn't move. My legs gave out and I sank to the ground, my back still against the wall. I fought to stay conscious. "What happened to Finn was not my fault, I wanted to leave," Octavia added. "So if Finn dies in there that's on you." Bellamy had no response. "Everything that's gone wrong is because of you. You got me locked up on the Ark, you wanted me to go to that stupid dance, you got mom killed!" she was screaming by the end. I wanted to intervene, to say something. This was too personal for me to be hearing. 

Bellamy laughed. "Me," he said quietly. "Mom was floated for having you. She's dead because you're alive. That was her choice. I didn't have a choice." I heard the pain in his voice. "My life ended the day you were born," he finished. I almost gasped out loud. How could he say that? How could either of them say these things to each other? They were siblings, and by some miracle they still had each other. I didn't even have my sister anymore. Octavia had no response for him and instead stalked off. 

Bellamy looked the angriest and most guilty I had ever seen. Thunder rumbled overhead and the wind picked up. Some kind of storm was coming. Bellamy yelled for some kid to get back inside the wall and then closed the gates. He still hadn't seen my sitting there. I didn't want to talk to him, not after what I'd heard, but I needed help. 

"Bell- Bellamy," I groaned. He spun around, his eyes widening in surprise as he saw me on the ground. 

"Nessa," he actually sounded concerned. What bullshit. "Are you ok? How long have you been there?"