Love to Hate [1]

Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker.

Song:  Hey Brother // Avicii

To those few of you who are actually reading this, thank you and I'm sorry for taking so long to update! Work got really hectic towards the end of July/beginning of August and now I'm at preseason but I'll try and update more regularly!! Thanks for reading, hope you like it. (And as always, feedback is appreciated :) ). 

Nessa's POV

Bellamy and Clarke were taking a long time in the tent. It was making me nervous. Bellamy had finally given in and decided to talk to Jaha, to explain why he did what he did, ask for forgiveness, and tell Jaha who on the Ark really wanted him dead. He was putting it all on the line, relying on Jaha's need for information to overcome his desire to uphold the law. He was facing what he had done wrong, confronting his demons head on. And after he was done, it was my turn. That's what made me feel like I had to throw up. What does someone say to their supposed sister after thinking she was dead for ten years? Especially when that sister gave you up to the Guard and got your dad floated? And who may not even be your sister in the first place? I had promised Bellamy I would do this, but the more I thought about it the less I wanted to know. 

In what felt like hours later, Bellamy and Clarke emerged from the tent. Bellamy looked relieved, even happy. I assumed his talk with Jaha went well. I walked forward, feeling as though I was walking to my execution. 

"So are they gonna shoot you when they get down here or am I allowed to kill you myself now," I joked, trying to sound casual and upbeat but my voice still shook. 

He smiled. "No, Jaha pardoned me. You can go back to wanting me dead." He stopped, noticing the worry and hesitation on my face. "Hey, if you need someone to be in there with you-" he started, but I shook my head.

"No, I need to do this myself," I took a deep breath, my face set. He nodded and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I pushed past him and walked into the tent. To my surprise, I saw Jaha's face on the video screen. 

"Bellamy and Clarke said you would like to speak with me?" He asked as I sat down.

"No, I want to talk to my sister. Reagan Stevens," I said, confused. 

Jaha shook his head. "Nessa, you know the crime for hiding a second child. Your father and sister were floated the day you escaped into the vents."

He was lying to me, right to my face. Rage bubbled up inside me and I took a deep breath to calm myself. "No, Jaha, she wasn't. I know what really happened so you can cut the bullshit. She turned me and my dad in and in turn you pardoned her. I know she's alive and still on the Ark. And I want to talk to her. Now."

Jaha nodded and even gave a small smile. "You are a fiery one. Very well, Ms. Stevens. I shall try and find your sister." He got up and was gone from the small screen. Now I had to wait even longer. It was agonizing. But I wasn't scared anymore, just desperate to hear the truth for once.

Finally I heard footsteps and a woman appeared on the screen. I inhaled sharply in surprise. Knowing she was alive because she gave us up and seeing her, sitting there in front of me were two very different things. Seeing her living, breathing, made the betrayal all the more real. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut. But above all, I was livid. To calm myself, I took a few minutes to study her face, make sure it really was her. She was older, obviously, but it was definitely Reagan. The spitting image of my dad, with big, round brown eyes and long blonde hair that I always envied. High sharp, cheekbones, a button nose, and full lips. Wrinkles had started to form around her eyes. She looked healthier, more well fed than I had ever remembered seeing her. She also studied me warily as if waiting for me to explode. I realized if any conversation was going to occur, I was going to have to start it. 

"Hello, Reagan," I almost whispered. It was all I could manage.

"Nessa," she replied shortly, still cautious. We stared at each other for a few more seconds.

"Is it true?" I asked. There was no dancing around the subject. I wanted the truth and I wanted it now.

"Yes," she replied. "All of it."

She said it so bluntly, so devoid of emotion, so matter of fact that it felt like another stab in my chest. I took another deep breath. It was getting harder and harder to keep from unleashing everything I felt at her. 

"Why?" I breathed, barely audible.

This time she took a few seconds to reply. "Because I had had enough. Enough of risking my life everyday, enough of watching everything I said or did, making sure I didn't let anything slip or give anything away. Enough of watching dad go hungry so often just so his "Nessie" could have enough to eat. Enough of sharing everything I had with a brat my dad clearly loved more than me, his own daughter." Her volume had increased as she had continued talking till she was shouting by the end. She sat there for a little, breathing heavily. 

I stared at her, dreading the response to my next statement. "But I was his daughter, too."

Reagan gave a snort of derision. "No, Nessie, you weren't. I guess you don't know everything."

"But- but- I don't understand. Why- ?" I stammered. I felt like my whole world had become unhinged.

"Why would a man risk his and his daughter's life for someone else's extra kid?" Reagan sneered. "Beats me. You'd have to ask him yourself. Oh wait, you can't. He's dead because of you."

Something broke in me. "Because of me?!" I shouted. "You were the one that gave us up! We were doing fine, we could have gotten away with it if you had just continued living like we had! But no, you cared more about saving your own skin than your father's."

"You're right, I did! Sorry for being human! Sorry for not wanting to die for some kid I had no connection to! And for your information, we would never have 'gotten away with it'. They always find out. Even when you turned 18 you would have still had to hide or explain how some 18 year old just randomly appeared out of nowhere with no record of being born! It was just a matter of time before someone found out, so I took the initiative and tried to make the situation somewhat salvageable. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner," she hissed. 

Blood was pounding in my ears. If Reagan were actually sitting in front of me and not thousands of miles above me on the Ark, I would have strangled her then and there. I strangely thought of Bellamy, risking everything for his younger sister. How could I have ever thought he was the bad guy, when I lived with this monster for seven years? I couldn't even look at her face anymore, but I had one last question.

"Fine, I get it. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being and will probably die alone. I just want to know one more thing. If dad wasn't my real father, then who was? Who was my mom?" I asked.

Reagan looked offscreen for a second, as if looking to someone for instructions. Finally she turned back to look at me. Her face was emotionless again, her voice flat as she answered.

"Marcus Kane and Abby Griffin."

Dun dun dunnnnn. Also I picture Reagan as a slightly older Dianna Agron.