Love to Hate [1]

I know you're trying to forget.

Song: We Are Young // Fun.

Bellamy's POV

Unity Day. The biggest bunch of bullshit ever spouted by the Council. But also an excuse to let loose and have fun, which on The Ark was usually a foreign word for most of the population. It was definitely an excuse for us on the ground to take a break from worrying about Grounders and celebrate. The Exodus Ship was launching soon, the Guard would come, and then we'd be on an even playing field. We just had to hold out till then. 

I surveyed the campsite, my back to the wall, rifle slung across my shoulder. It was getting dark and people were starting to really feel the effects of Monty and Jasper's particularly strong batch of moonshine. I smiled. It was good to see everyone having fun. It made them all seem like the kids they were and not the survivors we were being forced to become. Hell, Clarke was even getting in on the action, even if I had almost had to force her. She was playing some sort of drinking game with three other kids. I scanned the campsite again, looking for someone else who deserved to let loose. 

Nessa sat to the side of the fire by herself, leaning against a log, nursing a pretty large helping of moonshine. She was staring intently into the fire and seemed to have no inclination of having any sort of fun. I watched her for a few minutes, thinking of the conversation I had overheard a few days ago. I hadn't meant to be eavesdropping at all, and I know she had told me she wanted to confront her sister by herself, but she looked so small and so scared walking into the tent that I had decided to stand right outside. For unseen moral support. I couldn't believe the things that Nessa's sister had said to her. I had admired how calm Nessa had been for most of the conversation. I probably would have destroyed the radio. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about Octavia. But, then again, turns out they weren't actually even siblings. I shook my head remembering the revelation of Nessa's real parents. It seemed too crazy to be true. I hadn't said anything to Nessa, or Clarke even, because it wasn't my story to tell and I figured Nessa would talk about it when she was ready. Right now, though, it looked like she needed a friend.

Nessa's POV

Unity Day. What a load of crap. My dad had always told me the story and I had always thought it was ridiculous. How could a society that preached and celebrated unity sentence someone to death just for being born? Today, however, it was an excuse to drink a lot of Monty and Jasper's moonshine, not talk to anyone, and not think about the conversation I had with Reagan. Although the combination of alcohol and not having anyone to talk to was making it hard not to think about the conversation. As much as I tried to think about other things, my mind kept straying back to it.

I heard someone sit down heavily next to me. I looked over and was surprised to see Bellamy. Secretly I was glad for the company, but I would never let him know that. 

"Does it look like I want to talk to anyone right now? Because I don't. At all." I took another swig of moonshine. My head was just starting to feel dizzy. I think it was working. I had never had any sort of alcohol before - it hadn't been very high on my priority list when I was stealing rations on the Ark - but my dad had drank it a lot. I knew what it was supposed to do to your brain. And that was exactly what I needed tonight. 

"Alright, sweetheart, if you say so," Bellamy shrugged and acted like he was going to stand up and walk away. I bit my lip, regretting my sarcasm. 

"No, wait, stay," I called out. I winced as even I could hear the neediness in my voice. Bellamy's eyes softened in understanding and he sat down next to me again. I savored the feeling of having someone next to me, knowing they were there and real. I had found out that a huge part of my life had been a lie so I needed that sense of reality or I'd go insane.