Love to Hate [1]

We are far too young and clever.

Song: Come on Eileen // Dexy's Midnight Runners

Nessa's POV

I sat bolt upright, fumbling around in the dark as I tried to figure out where I was. I groaned as a searing pain went through my head and I remembered everything that had happened. Miles. Clarke. Finn. The Grounders. I put my hand to my head and found that someone had bandaged the cut. Someone had also washed all of the Grounder's blood off of me. And put me in new clothes. I frowned. Who the hell did that? My eyes began to adjust to the darkness and I realized I was in Bellamy's tent. Oh, god, I hope he wasn't the one that changed me. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up slowly. No pain. Good. I took a cautious step. My legs were sore, but they held. I shuffled to the entrance of the tent and lifted up the flap. The camp was almost dead silent. No laughter, no conversation, nothing. Just people going about strengthening the camp's defenses with a sense of grim determination. I guessed they all knew about Clarke and Finn now. They knew what was coming. I only hoped Bellamy and the others had found them in time. Where was Bellamy anyway? 

And then I heard the familiar sound of him barking orders to someone as he walked away from the drop ship. There was no way I was talking to him while he was acting like the dictator (ha, get it? dick?) he could sometimes be. I spotted Jasper walking by and jogged up to him, wincing as my head pounded with each step. 

"Hey, Jasper. What can I do to help?" I asked, eager to be doing something to take my mind off Clarke and Finn. 

"Oh, Nessa! You're awake!" he gave me a small, sad smile. "Have you seen Bellamy yet, maybe he'll lay off everyone if he knows you're ok." Jasper added bitterly.

I frowned. "Why, Jasper, what's wrong?"

Jasper sighed. "After you got back they tried to look for Clarke and Finn but they only found Miles. And while they were out there Monty disappeared, too. So now Bellamy won't let anyone else leave to go look for them. He says it's so everyone stays safe, but I think he's just scared."

I rolled my eyes. A few days ago I would have flown off the handle if Bellamy had pulled something like this, but now I knew he really did think he had the group's best interests at heart. He did really want to keep everyone safe. He just sometimes didn't make the best decisions to accomplish that. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I know you're worried about Monty. Bellamy is just probably worried about getting everyone through the night safely. It's a lot of pressure to be in charge of so many lives. I'm sure come morning he'll have calmed down and we'll be able to go look for Clarke, Finn, and Monty," I tried to sound reassuring. "Now, what can I do to help, I'm serious."

Jasper eyed me for a second. "If you really want to help that badly, go grab the can of gunpowder. It's on the second floor of the drop ship. Just be careful with it, it's all we have."

I nodded and held my hand up in salute. "Aye, aye, sir." Jasper gave me a weak smile as I walked towards the drop ship. I tried to avoid Bellamy's gaze as I crossed the camp, knowing if he saw me awake he'd make me go back and rest. But he didn't understand that I needed to help, needed to keep busy to keep my mind from wandering. 

DO Y'ALL SEE WHAT'S COMING YET (SORRY THIS ONE WAS SHORT)