Don't Let Me Push You Away (Simon Minter Fanfic)

Chapter 5

JJ and I spent the entire day in his whilst he finished up with his editing, trying to get as much done as possible so he wouldn't be stuck doing it every day like the other boys.  Although I can't be too sure how he got anything done with me bothering him every few minutes for attention.  Back in the day, we never had to fight for each other's attention because we were all we had.

    The sun had gone down by the time JJ finally stood up from his chair and stretched out his back.  "I need to do something before I go crazy, want to go get something to eat"  He asked.

    "Yes please, I'm starving."

    He lead the way out of his room but instead of going downstairs straight away JJ knocked on Simon's door.  A 'come in' was heard.  "Me and Kells are going to Nando's, want anything?"

    I looked at Simon, who had also been sitting by the computer, but he had a controller in his hand.  The game was paused and for a moment he looked deep in thought before standing up.  "I'm going to come with, I can't decide what I want."

    Josh ended up tagging along too, Vik declining our offer because had other plans.  JJ was the one driving, me in the passenger and the other two were in the back.  They refused to let me play my music because there's was "better."  All ride long I had to listen to songs with too much bass that didn't make any since.  Also having to deal with multiple car accidents because JJ couldn't sit still and kept laughing any times the boys danced.  If you've ever seen him laugh you'd know it's quite dangerous in a moving vehicle. 

    Somehow we made it safe and sound to Nando's, the three boys were quite rowdy still from the trip.  It was funny at first, watching Simon jump onto Josh's back, nearly taking the both of them down.  But then I've started noticing the stares from passerby's.  I wanted to ignore it, telling myself who wouldn't stare at a bunch of rambunctious teenagers.  That helped a little, but so did JJ putting his arm around me and going completely limp.  Forcing me to use all of my energy to have to pull him to a booth where I sent next to Simon on one side and Josh and JJ sat on the other side.  Unfortunately I was able to look at all the people who still insisted on looking at us after we were seated.

    A couple of young boys, maybe 8 or 9, huddled into the seat across us, watching us like we couldn't see them.  Their mouths hung open and with every second that passed my anger levels rose to an extraordinary high.  My temper had always been my downfall and I might have been in a new place but that didn't mean I was any different. 

    "Can I help you lot with what the fuck you're staring out?"  I blurted out once I've had enough.  It looked like I had upset them but I wasn't bothered, who were they to fucking just judge people like that.  From next to me I heard Simon let out a nervous puff of laughter and Josh looked at JJ like I've lost it. 

    "Kells," my best friend started.  "They're just fans, they watch our videos, calm down."

    Fucking hell, here I go again.  Giving everyone a reason to hate me.  "Oh," I refused to look up from the table.  "I'm sorry."

    "That's alright, it's not easy to get used to."  Simon bumped his shoulder with mine.  I knew he was only trying to be nice, the uncomfortable air was still settled between everyone.  There wasn't much to said after that, I was too in my own head about the things I could have done differently.  In their defense, the 3 boys really did try talking to me and brush it off.  JJ couldn't stop looking at me full of worry, it made me want to hide away in my room.

    Which is exactly what I did when we go home.  On the ride home my gaze would leave the trees that passed us from outside the window.  And the moment I walked through the front door I was up in my room on my bed, staring at me ceiling.  Much like I did every night at my old house.  It was not a good feeling.  But I brought these things upon myself, I should stop pretending that I'm not the reason people don't like me.