The Choice I Regret

Life Without You

Finn’s POV

I turn around to be faced with the one and only Rachel Berry. I don’t know why but I have this weird feeling that she’s staring at my junk. Then I look at her face and I realize that she’s the exact same, the only difference is that she’s not wearing the gold star necklace I got her. She would wear it every day in high school, and I hoped she still did but I guess she doesn’t any more. She probably selled it on eBay to get money because she did leave for New York by herself, and she was always independent. I look in her I eyes and I start to see tears appear in them. Before I could take another breath or say anything, she walks out into the large balcony. I stand there not knowing what to do, do I stay here and give her time? Or do I go out there and talk to her and try to comfort her? I look around and see the Glee Club members are all staring, considering that they’re the only people that know what went down. I see Kurt nod and I give him the death stare, I knew he planned this and he’s going to pay. I then look at Puck and he gives me the thumbs up as he says:

“Haters got to hate, just go talk to her.”

So I do exactly that.  I haven’t heard her voice in two years. Quinn would kill me if she heard me say this, but I miss her cute little laugh that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, I miss her lips on mine and the feeling of her in my arms. As I walk out to the balcony I see her staring at the glowing New York skyline. I see tears rolling down her cheeks and all I want to do is hold her like I used to. It seems like she feels my presence so she turns around and then I see her puffy red eyes, I’m about to say something when she beats me to it.

“What the hell are you doing here Finn?”

“I’m here on my 2 year wedding anniversary.” I answer quietly but not that quiet because she hears and a hurt look returns to her eyes.

“You’re married?” She cries.

“Yes. We talked things over, and we discovered that we still loved each other.” I regret my response as soon as it came out of my mouth.

“Fabray? Your Married to Quinn Fabray, Oh My God!!” she yelled.

“Look I know this is crazy, I felt the same way, but I love her and I’m happy.” I simply reply, still trying to take her hand but she pulls her hand away with a harsh reply.

“Don’t you dare touch me, you have no idea how much you hurt me. That day in the auditorium, I loved you and I gave you everything I could offer. You told me that you and I were going to come here and start a new life together, and maybe even start a family together.” The hurt and anger in her voice is showing, and it kills me to see her so upset. She lets a few tears run down her cheeks and then she continues.

“But you lied to me and I hate you!” and with that she walked back inside.

I stand there shocked, speechless and distraught. I know that she needs time, and frankly I think I need some time to think over what the hell just happened. Is it even possible that she’s even more beautiful than I remember? I look out at the view and stare at the New York lights. My eyes finally find the way to a stadium, The New York Giants coach comes back into my mind and the only person who knows is Kurt, and he could sense that something was wrong with me so he practically annoyed me until I told him. I walk back inside and I see everyone staring at me. I also noticed that Kurt, Santana and Puck aren’t there so I don’t know who to talk to. I awkwardly stand there and put my hands in my pockets, soon after Puck comes back and he’s shaking his head at me. What did I do now? My mouth opens and I’m about to say something and Puck beats me to it.

“You’re married dude?” he spat.

“Um yeah, too Quinn.” I said just below a whisper.

“You idiot.” He brought his hand up and slapped me on my head and then walked away.

After that I decide it was time to go home. I quickly text Kurt saying he needs to ask someone else to drive him home because I was leaving early. I got outside and make my way to my car and I’m about to open it, when I feel my jacket being pulled back with a forceful grip. Before I knew it I was pressed against my new and now probably scratched car. I open my eyes to see that the person that was on the edge of killing me was Santana.

“You dumbass how could you hurt her like that? I mean I knew things we’re going to be tough, but then it turns out that your married. To Quinn I might add.”

“Look I never wanted it to be like this.” I pleaded.

“Well look you jackass it is like that, you were the only person she thought could never hurt her and yet you did! She was depressed for 2 years and you go out leave her heart hanging and marry Quinn!” Santana was now yelling.

“Don’t go there Santana.” I can feel my anger bubbling away, I try and contain it but I knew I couldn’t take much more.

“You already went there!” she snapped back.

I feel my eyes begin to tear up and I’m about to reply when Santana slaps me in the face. After a few seconds it stings and I know for sure that there’s going to be a print of Santana’s hand on my cheek and it will surely stay there for a couple of days.

I couldn’t control my anger anymore and I finally break.

“SANTANA STOP, JUST STOP I KNOW I HURT RACHEL AND I WISH I COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK, BUT I REALIZE I CAN’T AND IT KILLS ME, EVERY DAY OKAY?”

Santana just shook her head and was about to slap me again and probably harder than the previous one, but she was brought to a Holt when a little sweet voice appeared behind her… it was Rachel.

“Santana stop, he’s not worth it.” she said clearly fighting her tears.  

My heart breaks when I hear the hurt in her voice and all I want to do is hold her and tell her I’m sorry over and over again, but it’s no use. I know she wouldn’t believe me, and she will probably never trust me again. Out of nowhere I feel dizzy and I lose my balance, I go to grab my car door handle to steady myself but I just miss and I fall hard on the dirty, rough pavement. The last thing I hear screaming and my name being called out.

And the last thing I saw before blackness was the only visible thing to me, was Rachel Berry’s dark brown eyes with tears coming out of them. I try to grab her hand but my strength wouldn’t allow me to. I don’t know what’s happening but all I’m thinking about is what if I never see those cute big brown eyes again?