The One Night Stand That Stayed

Chapter Sixteen: The Break-Up

“Are you still mad at me?” Zack asked crashing onto my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck, planting a kiss on my cheek. Zack had been doing some major sucking up to me lately thanks to my apparent attitude with him. But I had been doing a lot of thinking lately about Zack, me and Noah. A part of me chose Zack because it seemed like the easy thing to do. I wasn’t in love with Zack, but I thought maybe I could develop feelings for him. But I just didn’t feel the spark with him.

It always felt like I was missing something. With Noah, everything had been so clear. He and I were in love. Sure, we had our mistakes, but we always worked through them. No one ever said relationships were easy.

“I’m not mad,” I replied. “I’ve just had a lot of things on my mind. You know I care about you right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, squeezing my shoulders. His hands traced down the mid of my back, before falling snugly across his chest. My eyes quickly scanned the ground, as I tried to put my words together in a way that wouldn’t hurt him.

“Zack, I like you a lot,” I began, realizing how terribly cliché I must be sounding. “I really do. But I don’t love you.”

“So,” Zack said stumbling across his words in confusion. “So what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?”

“I just don’t see this going anywhere if we don’t love each other,” I sighed, an overwhelming sense of uneasiness filling the room. “It’s not about you or Noah, it’s me. I just need to be alone for a while.”

“You’re such a liar,” Zack muttered angrily. “This has everything to do with Noah. You want him back, don’t you? You’re an idiot, if you go back to him. You’re a fool, Jayson.”

He stood up, pacing back and forth, throwing his hands in the air. He didn’t even look at me. He just stared outside the window, avoiding my eyes. His hand casually sliding across his eyes, as he fought back tears. I couldn’t stay in here. I couldn’t handle this.

“I,” I mumbled quickly. “I’m tired of hurting everyone.”

Having said that, I grabbed my carton of cigarettes from the dresser and stumbled out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me. I took the elevator down to the first floor, and stepped out onto the steps, lighting my cigarette. I closed my eyes, inhaling the smoky taste of the tobacco. It had never tasted better. It definitely was taking my mind off of Zack.

“I thought you quit,” a voice echoed from behind me. My eyes flickered open quickly, catching sight of Noah, standing at the foot of the steps, clutching a bag in his hand.

“I started again,” I replied, as he offered the bag to me. I glanced inside quickly, spotting my jacket and two Tupperware containers with hearts on them.

“Penelope,” Noah sighed. “She made a little extra Alfredo last night and your jacket is in there too. You left it the other day at our house. So I thought I’d bring it since we won’t be seeing each other again. I guess I’ll leave before Zack thinks anything.”

“Zack and I broke up actually,” I blurted out. Noah turned around quickly, his hands in his pocket.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Noah responded. “What happened?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” I sighed, flicking my cigarette to the ground and crushing it beneath my feet.

“Oh,” Noah nodded, not pushing it any further. “Are you at least ok?”

“I’m fine, Noah,” I sighed deeply.

Noah stared at the ground, not really knowing what else to say. We stood like that for a moment, appreciating the silence between us. Like I said, it was easy with Noah. “You know Rose misses you. She keeps asking me when her husband is coming back.”

I laughed as Noah smirked at me. “I guess I can stop by and visit some time. I wouldn’t want to worry my future wife.”

“You sure like them young,” Noah teased. I rolled my eyes as the door behind me swung open. I turned around to see Zack, chewing on his lower lip. He stuck his hands into his cardigan, glancing at the both of us.

“Jayson, we need to talk,” Zack demanded.

“Thanks for my jacket,” I replied, as Noah nodded, walking back to his car. I turned around facing Zack, giving him the attention he wanted. I waited for him to say something – he was silent for a moment, before he slapped me hard in the face.

“What was that for?” I growled holding the stinging side of my cheek.

“Because you’re a liar,” he huffed. “Not even a minute after we broke up and he’s already here.”

“He was returning my jacket,” I argued. “Since he thought we were no longer friends.”

“Oh whatever,” Zack snorted. “I was coming out here to beg for you back, but you know what I’m not even going to waste my breath. It’s useless.”

“Zack,” I sighed as he moved back into the apartment. I was about to follow him inside, but I stopped myself. I was tired of trying to be the good guy and considering everyone else’s’ feelings. It was time that I thought about myself. I walked out onto the sidewalk towards Noah’s car. He was still parked on the side, talking on his phone. I tapped on his window.

“Are you busy?” I asked curiously.

“Uh no,” Noah said shaking his head, unlocking his car door.

“I need to get away from my apartment for a while,” I said sliding into the passenger side. “Anywhere is fine."