Seven days.
Seven days without Andy.
My dorm is quiet. It has been for a while. I check my phone again. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing. I told Marie I was fine. I'm sure she knows I was lying. It was quite obviously, really. I pick up my writing binder. I skim through it to find many things about Andy and I in here, including a few letters I've written him in the past.
Maybe I'll write some more later.
I look around my dark dorm to see that I have empty bottles of alcohol lying everywhere and pain medication right on the side of my bed. I take the medication to relieve my pounding headache and aching body. I don't remember the last time I've eaten. I walk into the bathroom, not bothering to switch on the light.
I sit back on my bed and grab another bottle and downing it quickly. I let the burn take my pain away and lay back. I stare at the ceiling as I've done for the many days before. I haven't gone to school. Thank goodness it's almost over. I haven't talked to anyone.
I don't want to.
I don't want anymore people in my life. I'm so tired of everything.
I tried to love someone again, and it crashed and burned. It didn't burn him, it burned me. I'm never good enough. Never. Of course he left me for someone better.
Looking at the whole situation, my mind has been twisted. There's no way he was faking what he was saying and doing. We have so many positive memories. I'm just so confused. I can't stop thinking about it because I can't figure it out. It's impossible.
I replayed a few of our memories in my head, and I remembered some of the things he told me.
You just have such a positive view on other people. You admire them and see all of the good things about them, even when they may possibly make mistakes. You're so forgiving and you never get mad or hold grudges. I wish you would see the good in yourself instead of the other people who mostly don't deserve your loving nature. I wish you would see how beautiful you are.
Thank you for accepting the love I have for you.
I'm just as broken as you are.
I sigh and sit up, a wave of nausea sweeps through me and I quickly sit back down. In miserable. I almost can't take this anymore. I need him.
Oh god I love him.
I love him so much.
i cant think anymore.
YOU ARE READING
wild and running || a.b. (series on hold)
Fanfiction♡-Book One-♡ The broken girl doesn't see the angel with the broken wings trying to fly to her. The angel knows because of the past, a star shines the brightest before it dies. Lonely broken girl, will you accept the true, passionate love of a lowly...
