wild and running || a.b. (series on hold)

Chapter 1

[the first few chapters are crappy as hell! I wrote them a long time ago lol sorry]

I am awakened by a loud buzzer from the old alarm clock I've kept for the past years... Yep, college life in a nutshell. I sleepily get up and wander to the dormitory showers after gathering my shower bag and a pair of jean shorts and a tank top to wear today. It's Friday, who needs to look fancy? I step into the shower and let the steaming water flow from my neck to my back. I'm so stressed and I can never seem to catch a break. I massage my neck to try to relieve some tension and let my head think about whatever comes to mind...

After my shower, I dry my hair and apply light makeup because to be honest, I look like a zombie. I was up most of the night, as usual, writing and reading literature. That's all I can do to distract my mind. I've been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember, nothing ever helped. I struggled throughout middle school and high school. I eventually learned to just live with it, it's who I am you know? I haven't been in touch with my family much lately, I only ever truly had a relationship with my grand mother. She passed a few years ago... It still comes back to haunt me on dark nights. Sometimes, I feel like my life is a joke. I am constantly asking myself questions... Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why has my life been nothing but pain?

Yes, of course I have been blessed with amazing opportunities, I am enrolled in an amazing University and I grew up in a nice house. Things might not have always gone so well in that broken home, but I still had a roof over my head and food to eat. Everyone seems to use that against me. Am I not allowed to feel the way I do simply because I have it better than some poor, starving children across the globe? I guess so. I don't really try to complain about my problems at all because I'm thankful for adversity and all of the things that have made me strong. I just wish people would stop making me feel worthless. It seems as if every time I get my head above water, I'm sinking again. I seem to never be able to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart, mind, and soul.

If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.

My phone vibrates and written across the screen is, Marie. Marie has been my closest friend since about... grade one? All I know is that it's been a while. "Hey." I say, "Want to go to breakfast?" She asks, "Yeah! That would be nice. I sure need some." I giggle as I forget where I placed my bag with my writing binder in it. "I'll meet you at the little café next to the school?" "Yeah, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes." I hang up the phone and smile. After all the pure bullshit we've been through, she's the only one who hasn't left me.

I finally find my bag, grab all of my stuff for class, and begin walking to the café. It's very convienient living so close to campus, Marie lives in an apartment with her boyfriend William. They've been together for about seven years now... True love at the age of thirteen, amazing isn't it? They've always had that golden relationship that everyone desires. They've rarely fought, and when they do it's usually because of Marie's smart, sarcastic mouth. She's got a load of sass that you really can't compete with... The breeze is nice, it's autumn, my all time favorite season. I love how the leaves change color and the breeze carries them throughout the air. I arrive at the small café and immediately spot Marie sitting in our usual booth in the back corner.

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I know it sucks but it's just the first Chapter xD the first few will be slow but... Read on, it gets better I promise! The chapters will also be a LOT longer. Thank you all<3

-Emma