We're a Beautiful Disaster

the start of a long day....

Jan.....20....6:20am....... Bay..p..o..v..................

"Bay honey wake up." Drew says shaking me lightly, 

"What?" i groan opening my eyes and its bright in here so i shut them again after a moment i open my eyes again and look at him he's sitting up in the bed and he points to the door,

"Look." he says I look out the glass door, the sun is coming up and wow,

Its amazing so many colors and its so bright and ive never really seen anything like that, it doesnt really look that way in New York, and i havent really been any where else other than a few trips but this is still the best. 

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asks smiling down at me and my face of awe, he reachs down and moves a piece of hair from my face and then there is a moment of.....well im not really sure our eyes are locked on each others,

And its like nothing in the world i look into his eyes and its really like im looking into his soul, i seem to see every little bit of him and his look, his hopes, and fears, and pain and i cant help but notice the love and a bit of lust in his eyes,

but the moment is over way to soon, and everything goes back to the way it was a few moments ago, and it makes me feel sad that the moment is over but it had also scared me, that moment those looks were full of so much that i never knew he felt for me....

"Sure." i say to his question about the walk that would be nice and maybe it would help clear my mind and after last night i wanted to be close to him some part of me wouldnt let go thinking he was mad at me, but i know i havent done anything wrong but still..... 

"Give me a minute to get dressed." i say siting up in the bed,  

"Okay I'll uh wait outside." he says and i noticed that he is already dressed, how long has he been up?  But then he gets up off the bed and walks out the door and i get up out of the bed too I go over to my bag and get out a t-shirt and shorts,

I had to buy somes clothes before we came here since i didnt really pack to much and no shorts so these are new, there just jean shorts that are really short, he chose them, and i would just like to say,

If you get drunk and wake up married to one of you'r best friends and you'r brother is coming to kill you so you run off to his island to hide, do not let him pick you'r clothes, and saying that even to myself i realize how psycho this whole thing was, oh gosh what have i gotten into? uhg.

 I stop trying to think and just put the clothe on i then go to brush my hair knowing that it probably looked like a bird slept in it ....and it never left, it looks like this most mornings i dont know how since i never even really move in my sleep but its weirder if it doesnt look this way! 

I then i go outside and he is waiting for me siting in one of the chairs, he gets up seeing me though, I don't put any shoes on just walk in the sand and let it get all over my feet and it feels so very good, 

We start walking north down the beach but we dont say anything for a while, but he takes my hand and holds it, i love how my hand fits in his his covers mine and well he just always makes me feel so small and cuddled,

Looking back now i think about if he really has had feelings for me all this time, has he really still cared about me? i really thought that he never really felt that way for me but now? i dont know and now i dont know what to think, everything is just so crazy.

"Pretty isn't it?" he says breaking the silence and my thoughts i look up at him,  

"Very." i say looking over at the sun riseing over the water,