We're a Beautiful Disaster

broken hearts hurt.

I look down at my feet.

Trying not to cry anymore.

John sits next to me.

"Are you ok?"he asked.

"I.i.don't know."

He holds me tighlty.

"So you're pregnent.can't say i didn't see this comeing but still."

"Well.i didn't and neither did Drew."

"Yeah.just so ya know.i think you'd be a good mom."

"I never seen myself really being a mom before"

"I always knew you'd be a good one.but the thought of you.well geting to the point of haveing kids.discusting."

I don't want to but i smile.

"What were you just going to lock me up for the rest of my life?"

"Yeah.and i was doing a pretty good job till that little dummy got a hold of ya."

I half way laugh.

"Well.seeing as where we stand you did a bad job."

He nodds.

"I know.hope you liked freedom.cause now I'm never leting leave my house again!"he said.

"You can't just keep me chained up."

"Oh really? Wanna bet?"

I smile.

"That's why i love you."

"Cause i tied you too the couch?"

"No dummy.you can make anyone smile."

"Better than mopeing around"

"I guess..if i asked you something will you answer truthfully?"

"Of course."

"How did you feel when Jenna told you she was pregnent?"

"Shocked.happy.and sorta proud. But I'm not the best to conpair to him.I've always wanted kids."

I nodd.

We stay quite for a moment.

"Does he really not want the baby?"he asked.

"I don't think he wants it."

"Well maybe you should give him some time.he seems to have problems with any kids."

"Are you taking up for him?"

"No.no.its just.som guys don't relise how in love with the kid they are till.they see it.and i really do think you two love each other. "

"You should have seen his face.it wasn't just shock.or fear.

It...was like ...this was the worst thing the doctor could have said.like maybe it would have been better if i was dying from some stupid something."

He sighs.

"And after all I've been through.i won't let my baby grow up feeling unwanted."

He pulls back and holds my hands.

"Bay.would. are you thinking of haveing a abortion?"

"I.i..don't know.."

"You know you wouldn't have too do that."

"I don't. Want my baby.to have to go through.its own dad not wanting it."

"Bay..look..you're not alone.you have me."

"I know.but..i don't know.i won't do it unless he truly doesn't want it.and i don't know if i could even do it."

"Whatever happens.I'm here.ok?"

"Ok."

..

I then hear a loud crash from the kitchen.

I look at him.

"Jenna!"he yells.

"I didn't do it.! We're uh....being robbed!"

He laughs.

He gets up and i go with him to the kitchen.

She's picking up plates.

"What did you do?"he asked.

"I said i didn't do it.it was the robbers!"

"Oh.what did they steal.?"he asked

"The rest of the cake."

"Jenna."

"Uhg.sorry but the poor kid thinks you're starving it!"

"I'm not starving you.I'm making you get healthy"

"The baby says it hates that food"

"Really it told you that?"he asked smiling.

"Yup.".

He shakes his head.

"It also said it wants you too go get it a hamburger"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Ok.ok.fine.Bay hungery?"

"No."i say.

"Ok.I'll be back soon."

He kisses her.the my cheek and leaves.

She goes too the living room.

"Comeing!?"

"Yeah"

I go sit on the couch with her.and she turns on the tv.

"Wanna talk?"she asked.

"Not much too say.and I'm sure you heard us talkin."

"Yeah."

I close my eyes.

"It'll be ok."she says.

"How do i know that!? How do i know he won't be just like my dad!?"

"You don't. And there's only one way too find out."

"I can't see him yet"

"Ok.take you're time.and if you're staying.you're rooms the way you left it."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Ok.i think I'll just go rest then"

"Ok."

I go too my room.

And it was the way i had left it.

Something about that made me happy.