We're a Beautiful Disaster

happy forgotten birthday!

Jan,16....12:39...pm Monday ........

I'm standing here waiting as Jenna trys on wedding dresses, you think i'd be having more fun considering i loved clothes, and was in love with wedding stuff, i had always found my love for this strange, since i wasn't very girly, and the fact i never planed on getting married, i just never seen myself doing any of this.  

But its kinda hard for me to be in a good mood since its my birthday, and everyones to busy to care, not one person has even remembered,   

"How about this one?"Jenna says walking out  its a princess dress, something i could see Cinderella In, its white and glittery and has a sweetheart top,   

"Its pretty." i say   

"Thats what you said about the last three!" She says loooking over at me,   

"Well they were." i say shruging, yes they had been her long and strait light brown hair looked really pretty with the white dresses,  

"Maybe the strapless one." she says her mom is here to and they start talking, they had decided to get married on valentine"s day, how crative, after another hour we leave and its almost four when we get home,

I had tryed to look like i was having fun and for the most part i did, but no on really care much about me i think she only asked me to go because John asked her to, she had her friends and thats what mattered.

Me , her and her mom walk back inside the loft John is sitting on the couch waiting for us when we come in, he wouldnt get to see the dress until the wedding day.

"Hey how'd it go?"John asks,  

"Good, we had so much fun right Bay?" she says looking over at me and smiling  

"Yeah, but i don't feel to good right now, " i say i just cant fake being so happy anymore i really am tired,  

"Maybe you should rest, you probably have a cold or something." John says looking at me

"Yeah maybe." i say shruging,    

I dont say anything else to them i just go sit in my room i lay down on the bed, and i can still hear them talking,  very thin walls, i may need to find a new place to live, I don't think i can put up with them all the time, its not like they werent times now when she stayed over.

And it was gross, those are the nights i go over to Drew's , the first time i had showed up at his house at midnight and it had scared him, i dont come over that late, but now i made John promise to call and let me know so i could be gone before they got here,  

At a little after five someone knocks on my door,  

"Bay you wanna come eat with us?"John says coming in but standing at the door,   

"With Jenna's mother? no thanks." i say still looking up at roof that has been painted with little stars, John and Drew did that for me a few years ago so it could look like i was looking at the sky.

"I know, she's yeah you sure you're ok?" he asks giving me a look,  

"I'm fine." i say  

"Okay then I'll see you later." he says sounding unsure, probably wondering why im in such a bad mood,   

"Bye." i say flatly  

He stands there for a moment and i wonder what he's thinking but then he just walks out and i hear them leave,  I get up off the bed and go into the living room and sit on the couch, i dont bother turning on the tv, i wont watch it.