We're a Beautiful Disaster

i guess this is home now.

By the time we get to his house Emily isn't there, she has her own place and im guessing she went there, either thinking we'd be at the E.R or not wanting to be here when we got home or maybe she just didnt care anymore either. 

We go inside and Drew leads me upstairs to his room  

"Go wash up." he says pointing over to the bath-room I nodd and go in his bath-room and I take a deep breath, 

I would be lying if i said this room didn't still creep me out some times, I know it was years ago that i found him half dead in here but the thoughts still haunt me some times, there are still times i have nightmares of that day,

It didnt always get to me that much most the time i can just not think about it, and really i should be over it ive came in here lots of times since then, but sometimes it just hits me hard and today is one of those times.  

I Grab a wash rag off the sink and wet it washing my face of all the tear stains and stuff and i take a few deep breaths to calm my self, had it really only been this morning when we were laughing and smiling? 

I dry my face and go back out and he's siting on the bed, i decided that i'd like to take a nice hot shower and just forget everything for a little while, like washing it all away, 

"I'm uh going to take a shower." i say  

"Ok, but you don't have to ask ya know its you're home now two, and anyway you never asked before you just yelled at me to stay out. "he says with a smrik at the end,  

"I guess so." i say sighing i dont know why i felt like i should ask him but i did but he's right this is my house to and i never asked before because this always felt like another home so why should it be diferent now?

"I'll get you some clothes." he says and I nod and go back in the bath-room shuting the door behind me,  then i undress and turn on the shower and get in. 

The water is almost too hot but just the way i like it, Its a good kind of pain, after a few minutes i hear the door open but I can't really see cause its all foggy in here, but i hear him cough and I laugh,

I dont know why i thought that was funny, i guess its just been a long day and im losing my mind,i turn off the water and get out, i had been done anyway, and he hands me a towel and i wrap it around me, 

"You ok?" he asks gving me a look and i know he feels bad for what happened but its not really his fault, or well its mine to so i dont blame him,

"Yeah, i will be." i say nodding and he reachs out and takes my hand playing with my fingers and i like it its calming and we sit in silence for a moment until he breaks it,

"He made a big mistake." he says  

"Hum?" i say feeling lost, had i missed something?

"Leting you go he'll see that soon and he'll regret it." he says

"I don't know." i say sighing what if he really did just forget me? could he do that? after everything thats happened and all we've been through? could he really just cast me off like i was nothing more than something in his way right now,

But maybe this is my fault, maybe i shouldnt be so mad at him, maybe i am to blame for what has happened, maybe i am being a brat, i dont know maybe he has a right to leave me alone this is all my fault so why should he be bothered with it?

"No, he will i know what its like too be on you're bad side, its not a good place to be." he says giving me a smile and trying to lighten my mood but it doesnt really work i try to give him a smile back but its a really bad one..