We're a Beautiful Disaster

forgiven?

5:56.pm. 

I open my eyes and look around the room we're still laying here in the bed, but he's still asleep and he looks so peacefull right now, Its the only time he looks at peace, I wonder what he's not telling me. 

What could it be that its so hard to tell me? is it something he thinks i'll be upset about? or that it might make me hate him? or is it just something he doesnt want to talk about?

it hurts that he wont tell me, we tell each other almost everything although there is some things i choose not to talk about so i cant be to upset with him about that, i just wish i knew so i could help him. 

I lay my hand on his chest so i can feel his heart beating, its soothes me and i snuggle closer to him and sigh loving the feel of him,  i love how warm and soft he is, I run my hand over his belly and up his chest. 

I know he cares a lot about looking good, he works out everyday and really does watch the things he eats, but he'd die before he let on to that, he likes to act like he sits around and eats whatever and he still looks that hot.

But i know the work he puts in his self, and oh his work pays off, he'd start working out more after he came back from the rehab, he had time and needed things to keep him busy and well i think he made some good choices. 

Then i noticed that his breathing has changed, its not so deep and steady anymore, I look up to his face and his eyes are open and he's just watching me, I pull my hand back and he lets out a breath smiling at me.  

"You don't have to stop."he says  

"I know i just. . ." i say looking down at my hands in my lap and blushing a little, ive never been with any other guy this way and well im still a bit shy about it, but the funny thing is we'd do stuff like this all the time, and only now does it feel weird.  

"How long have you been awake?" i ask looking back up to his face and he gives me another smile. 

"A few minutes." he says with a smirk and i blush brighter, i can feel my cheeks burn, so he was awake while i was checking him out? oh nice. . .

"Oh dont give me that pout! I knew you'd stop in you knew i was up." he says and i nod,  

"Uh well yeah." i say  

"You're not doing anything wrong! And i don't care, you can pretty much do whatever to me, I'm you'res, and i dont mind to be touched i kinda like it." he says taking my hands in his and placing them on his chest,

My hands feel good stuck between  his big hands and his chest and i can feel his heart beating a little faster, i did that i made his heart beat faster, and i like that thought but im not sure for the real reason why, but I smile anyway. 

"I know but. . .well yeah. " i say shrugging

"Its funny the things your shy about." he notes and i nod, i am weird about some of the things that weird me out, but hey that just makes me, me.

"Yeah,Imi just weird like that." i say and  he rolls onto his side and leans in to kiss me, but he does a little to hard and before i can stop myself I let out a small wimper of pain, from my still very sore lip.  

"Oh yeah. . sorry babe." he says pulling back and he has a pained look and i dont know what to do, i mean it hurt and i couldnt help it, but i hate seeing him upset and i know he's eating him self up about it. .

"Its ok, im fine really, hows you head feel?" i ask smirking at him and that makes him break a smile and laugh,  

"A bit sore but i think I'll live, but i cant believe you through a plate at me. . " he says still laughing and i jion in it,