Shattered Thoughts : Book Two (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier)

Chapter 27

  Willow Dariela had been dead for two weeks, and Steve could already see the massive impact her loss had on the team. The sense of joy, and levity that Willow brought to everything was gone. Bucky had quickly sunk back into the deep depression he'd been in three years ago. Steve wished more than anything that he could bring Willow back to life. Not just for Bucky, but for Lulu and Warren. He'd gotten to know the two much better over the last two weeks, and had become good friends with them both. Talulah had gone back to her double agent position at HYDRA, full of renewed hatred and fire. Warren had decided to join SHIELD, he said he owed it to Willow's memory; she'd always wanted him to join. 

 Warren would make an excellent SHIELD agent, and had also agreed to work with the Avengers every now and then. Steve was on his way to Bucky's apartment, and was hoping his friend wasn't still curled up in a ball on his bed, staring at the wall. Steve nodded to one of Bucky's neighbors as he passed them, and then unlocked the door to Bucky's apartment. Willow was constantly losing her key, and Bucky could never remember where his was, so they'd given Steve a spare key. 

 Steve smiled sadly as he looked down at the doormat, one Willow had purchased last year, it said, "The Neighbors Have Better Stuff." If anyone broke into their apartment they would run into an angry soviet assassin and a telepath, so Steve didn't think there was any need for the rug. 

 Walking inside the apartment, Steve saw a few cardboard boxes sitting in the living room. He'd brought them over a week ago, so Bucky could box some of Willow's stuff up and put it in storage. The boxes were all completely empty, and Steve stuck his head in Willow's room before going to check on Bucky. Everything was exactly the same, right down to the color coded sweaters in Willow's closet. Bucky hadn't touched anything, Steve thought maybe Bucky was hoping Willow would come back to life, and wouldn't have wanted her stuff moved. 

  Knocking softly on Bucky's door, Steve opened it slowly, "Buck? You awake?"

 There was no response, so Steve walked into Bucky's room and flipped on the light. Bucky groaned slightly and pulled the blanket over his head. Steve walked over to the bed and grabbed the comforted pulling it off Bucky and tossing it behind him. "Get up."

 "Why?"

"Because you can't go on like this forever!"

 Bucky sat up slowly, staring hard a Steve. His eyes were empty and full of grief, and he looked like it had been a while since his last shower. His hair was rumpled and he was pale and sweaty.

"Get up. Get a shower, eat something, and put some clean clothes on," Steve ordered briskly. Opening the blinds, he watched in satisfaction at Bucky rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. 

 Ten minutes later Bucky came into the kitchen, running his hands through his hair. He'd showered and was wearing fresh clothes, "What do you want Steve?"

 "To get you back out into the world Bucky," Steve said, "You can't spend the rest of your life locked up here." Bucky didn't speak, so Steve went on, "Willow wouldn't want you to stay here. To give up, God knows she didn't give up."

 "How dare you use her as an example!"

"Because she'd being in her yelling at you if she knew you'd given up. So get up, and live your life. Or did Willow die for no reason? Did she sacrifice herself for us, for you, just so you can waste your life?" Steve stood and walked out of the apartment, leaving Bucky sitting alone at the table, staring at him.