Accidentally in Love

Confessions of a Certified Brat

Gaby sat down in front of her camera with a grunt as she struggled to get comfortable in the straight back chair. After being put on bedrest, she decided to start a video journal to vent out all of her anger and frustration.

"Well, its day twenty of my imprisonment-oh excuse my bedrest, Nick and I haven't spoken that much since the blow-up last week. Apparently walking is frowned upon in this establishment, so to avoid being chained to the bed until I drop these little bundles of joy I have resolved to be on my best behavior. I do understand that I could have handled the situation a little bit better and that they are looking out for my best interest but after while it gets tiresome. I know I probably sound like a brat, but I get tired of having people constantly looking after me, even Nick lets me breathe at some point..." Gaby smiled as she thought about Nick.

"Nick gets me, and I give him such a hard time, but I think he likes it. I think he likes that fact that I can bring him to a boil one minute and the next have him as cool as a cucumber—hell I love it. But all of my usual tricks aren't working I'm still in the dog house." Gaby said with a frown.

"I should put a flat screen in it for as much time I spend in it. I miss Nick, sure he comes to bed at night but he doesn't touch me, he stays on his side of the bed all night while I just lie awake. I know I scared him and my mother, my poor mother must have had a heart attack when she found out I wasn't home." Gaby paused and thought about how much grief she put her mother through.

"Yeeeah the more I think about it I really could have handled that so much better. Nick would have gladly carried me out to the backyard I could have sat in his lap while taking in the sun." Gaby said as she pushed up her glasses before pulling on the thick braid draped across her shoulder.

"God I've been such a horrible little brat haven't I ?" she asked the camera as if replying the camera beeped and Gaby snorted "See even you agree." Gaby gazed out of the window and watched her neighbor rake up leaves.

"You know, to be honest, I can't tell you why I do half the crazy crap I do, I'm not this loopy.  Call me impulsive I guess, I've always been this way even when I was a little girl. I would do things that felt right at the moment even if I knew I would get in trouble later. Like the time I beat up Nick's girlfriend in middle school. It felt so right at the moment, but my mother tanned my hide good, but man she was such a snob, even then Nick had a type. He liked pretty dainty girls, something I never was nor ever will be. Nick always liked those exotic looking women something I'm not. So you could imagine my surprise when he told me he was in love with me. The look in his eyes when he said it was so....magical, he looked at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world. I never noticed it until then." Gaby shifted in her chair trying to get comfortable.

"He says he loves me and would do anything for me, he wants me to be happy, but I wonder if I can keep him happy. He's going places, just recently I found out he was offered to manage a firm in Chicago. He doesn't know I know yet he can thank Ian for that one. I'd follow that man to the ends of the earth, but I don't think I can be the wife he needs me to be. He needs someone who is confident, graceful, who knows how to practice restraint. He needs someone who knows how to say all the right things, charm all the right people, someone like Madeline." Gaby cringed at the sound of her name.

 "As much as I despise that woman I have to give her credit she has all of those qualities, I guess that's why when he first introduced her to me I was immediately intimidated. I don't come from money as she does, yeah I went to excellent schools but I wasn't brought up in high society life, I don't know how that works, and that's what he needs." The twins began to stir, and Gaby rubbed her stomach as they performed their acrobatics.

"Even the kids agree." She said giving the camera and weak smile as she sat back in the chair.

"Nick has so much potential, and I don't want to be the reason why he doesn't reach his full potential. Secretly I kind of wish he would just wake up one day and say he couldn't do this and just walk away. He would probably try to strangle me if he heard me saying this but it's what I feel. It's like my daddy says a person would do anything to make the one they love happy and I agree even if it means losing them. If that's what needs to be done then I'll do it no matter how bad it will hurt, I now understand what Derek was talking about. Asswipe that he is I really can't blame him for wanting to find someone who will make him improve, he doesn't need someone to babysit, and neither does Nick." She said as a tear rolled down her pudgy face and she quickly shrugged it away with her shoulder. The twins kicked and stretched furiously.

"Hey you two no fighting in there, and don't even think about trying to come out you have ten more weeks to bake so just chill," Gaby said talking to her stomach and the twins paid her no mind.

"They already don't listen to me; gee I wonder where they got that from," Gaby mumbled as she squirmed in the chair.

"These two are a handful, and they're not even here yet. Everything was going fine until a few weeks ago they decide they want to wreak havoc. I guess now it doesn't seem so bad back when I was twenty-three weeks pregnant with them and looked like a Goodyear blimp, at least then I knew they were okay. I didn't have the threat of taking one wrong move, and they could be delivered prematurely. It's something how one is never satisfied. Oh I haven't told Nick this yet but I came up with their names. Are you ready for it this is going to be epic." Gaby said with a laugh.

I need to get out I'm talking to my camera like it can hear me.

"Okay here it goes, our little boy will be named Elijah, and his middle name will be Maximilian after Nick's grandfather and our little girl Victoria Gianna after my grandmother, isn't that cute? I think so." Gaby beamed.

 "It's weird every time I talk about the twins I always wonder if this is what it feels like for every mother. I still can't grasp how I'm so in love with these little Chiclets, and they aren't even here yet. I often find myself imagining what they look like, I see our little boy with Nick's dimple and my eyes, everyone assumes that Victoria will look like me but I think she will look like Nick—she's going to be such a daddy's girl I can feel it already." Gaby trailed off as she took her glasses off and began to stare at the sunset. She knew Nick would be home soon and her mother would be coming up to force feed her again. Gaby never knew it could be so hard to eat four square meals a day. She turned back to the camera and smiled.

"You know as un-orthodox this whole situation is I wouldn't trade it with anybody. I need to start doing a better job cherishing what I have—don't get me wrong I do cherish everyone in my life God knows I do, but I need to show it more. Hmm, don't I sound like a rational adult, I must have reversed pregnancy brain or something." Gaby said with a laugh.

"Well that's enough unloading for one day; I'm pretty sure if you had ears they would have melted off by now." She said with a laugh.

"Ciao,"  Gaby said before turning the camera off and putting it away before climbing into bed feeling less burdened than before. She knew she had some serious apologizing to do and it was going to have to be something good.