Summer Vacation

Chapter 3

3

Erica

I laid there for a long time staring at the ceiling after Shaina had left. I know I had done some stupid things in the past but this one takes the cake. Nothing outside of attempted murder or running away to get married could possibly be stupider. But that’s not the sad part. The sad part was I had let it happen. I had let that jackass play me. I had sat there and watched the game and didn’t stop it…

I sighed and rolled over to my stomach trying to block all the sounds in the house. The air conditioner and the dishwasher didn’t bother me so much as the whispers across the hall. They weren’t loud and I couldn’t hear the words but I still didn’t want to even hear that. And I mildly hated myself for thinking the thoughts that I was.

I was envious of Shaina.

I was jealous of how she got to spend all night in the arms of a man. And not any man, a man who loved her. And here I was, cold and alone. I hated how she could stay up all night with secret whispers and hidden kisses and little jokes and all I had was solitary silence. And I hated her for it. I absolutely loathed her that.

And I hated myself because she was my best friend. I’d do anything for her and yet I would begrudge her something because I didn’t have it myself. What kind of friend is that? Not a very good one. And it made me more sick of myself than I already was. The end result had me in the fetal position on the bed ready to puke my guts out at any moment.

That, and the thought of what had happened weighed heavily on my mind too. I rolled back over to my back and stared at the ceiling. The night I had just had replayed in my mind.

I was stupid. I was dumb. I was clueless. I was crazy. I was pathetic. I was everything except what I needed to be.

Smart.

I clutched my stomach and clenched my eyes. I pretended that if I stopped remembering then it would go away. I imagined it was a bad dream; one that if I said it wasn’t real; I’d open my eyes and suddenly it wouldn’t be real.

I opened my eyes.

The night was still real. I closed my eyes again and the first tear fell. It was just one at first. It slid down the side of my face and disappeared in my hair. One single tear slipped past and soon the rest followed.

There were no sobs.

There were no heart-wrenching cries.

Just tears. One after another until I could no longer tell them apart. They were washing away all the small things from my mind and making room for the bigger ones, ones that would involve bigger tears.

I sighed and let the tears fall, knowing I was powerless to stop them.

I opened my eyes to the blurred ceiling, knowing that everything was going to change.

I wiped my eyes, knowing there would be time later for tears.

I rolled over falling asleep, knowing that my tired mind and body couldn’t take anymore… not tonight…

***

Just for clarification (in case anyone missed it) this chapter is in Erica's point of view. There probably won't be a lot in her point of view, but if you like it and think I should add some more let me know. I'm always open to suggestions.

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MissCreativity.