After the bell

Forty one

I stand watching Jon leave the ball, my hearts was saying run after him his yours, but my mind was telling me this was the right thing to do.

The weekend was hard everything I did reminded me of Jon, I'd put the telly on there would be something on that me and Jon would of watched.

Putting the radio on was just as hard there would be songs on that played that would bring back memories of me and Jon.

Monday comes around and I arrive at school early there was something I needed to do.

I walk down the corridor looking at the form I just got reading it over, seeing the words transfer on the top of the form.

I knock on Jon's classroom door seeing him writing on the blackboard
"Hey" he smiled at me.

"Have you got a minute?" I asked him.

"Sure, what's up" he asked I walk over to him handing him the form.

"I need you to sign it" I said as he looks at me.

"You wanna transfer out of my class" Jon said in disbelief.

"Look this isn't easy for me" I informed him.

"Look Peyton this is stupid. You can surly sit in a room with me for an hour"

"I don't think I can I'm sorry" I sighed.

"Peyton please don't do this" Jon said with pleading eyes.

"Can you please just sign the form" I begged

"No" Jon said staring at me "if I sign this form it like I'm signing my life away"

I stare at him shaking my head and I look at him with pleading eyes he sighs out signing his signature on the form handing it to me.

My idea of trying to get out of Jon's class didn't exactly go to plan for me as my request got declined to my annoyance.

I go home that afternoon seeing my dad was home early from work I walk in seeing him sitting on the couch, I walk in flopping next to him cuddling up to him which surprised him as I hadn't done that in a long time he puts his arm around me letting me cuddle in closer to him.

He lights a cigarette and I watched him take a puff "you gonna share that?" I asked him.

"I don't want to but you seem like you need it" he said handing it to me I take a couple of puffs before handing it back to him.

"So princess you gonna tell me what's wrong?" My dad asked.

"Jon" I said looking up at my dad.

"What about him?" My dad asked through gritted teeth.

"I never told you but at the Valentine's Day ball he showed up. He said that he missed me that he made a mistake"

"What did you say?" My dad asked handing me the cigarette.

"I told him that him breaking my heart was the best thing he did, that it was right" I replied

"You said that?" My dad questioned me in disbelief in his voice I nod my head.

"Saying it was the hardest thing I've ever done, I thought it was for the best but I'm unsure if  it is. I even tried to transfer English class but it got declined"

"Can I ask you why you didn't take him back" my dad asked.

"I honestly don't know, I honestly regret it, I miss him so much, I feel like a part of me is missing, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I feel like I'm falling apart without him"

"If you feel like that then why walk away from him?" He asked me

"Because it's wrong, me and him together, having to sneak around just to steal a few hours together, I'm in love and I can't tell anyone" I replied.

"You told me your in love and Lana" my dad pointed out I shrug my shoulders at his comment they was just two people out of hundreds.

"You know what's scares me more than anything is that I could loose him, I think you finding out made me realize that it could all come out at any second, and it scared me"

"I'm going to be honest Peyton but I was shocked angry disappointed, but your an adult now. I'm not happy with it but if you decide to see him, I won't stop you, just don't let your mother find out, if she does I'm gonna have to deny all knowledge that I knew"

I nod my head excepting what my dad said. I just needed to decide what i wanted.