Running to the Edge of the World...

Great Big White World

Chapter 7: Great Big White World

Forget having had a bad day last week. I’d just experienced what no human being should ever have to go through. On Monday, my mum called to tell me that my dad’s parents – my grandparents – had both been crushed by a semi-trailer that had had its breaks cut. Apparently the investigation was still ongoing, and I suspected that it would continue for some time. And then, to top off everything else, my friend Beth had passed away in hospital on Wednesday. It’s now Sunday, and I just got a call from Emily that our friend, Jake, had committed suicide.

I’d called my work to let them know I needed time off, but that was it. The only other person I told was my mate Tony, but I was certain he’d told the Osborn’s…and they’d told Marilyn. How did I know this? Because they had been calling every hour to make sure I was okay. In the end I just took the phone off the hook, so silence would reign supreme throughout my house.

I went home for my grandparent’s funeral, but went straight back to my house in California afterwards. I spoke to nobody. I felt numb. No. I felt… dead. And utterly alone and miserable. I could almost see the storm clouds that hung above me where ever I went, dumping imaginary rain on me, keeping my mood dreary. Not exactly conducive to coping with grief.

It wasn’t until a few days later that I properly broke down. I don’t think I’d ever cried so much in my whole life. And it was at this point that Marilyn decided to bang very loudly on my front door.

I didn’t know it was Marilyn until I got into the hallway and saw him through the glass panes that frame my front door. I leant against the front door. Knowing he was only just on the other side made me feel slightly better. But I was determined to be alone. So I said nothing, but he must’ve heard me approach or lean against the door.

“Shannon! Open this door NOW!” he bellowed through the door frantically.

“No!” I shouted back. “Leave me ALONE!”

He hammered on the door again. “Open the door!”

“Please, leave me alone, Marilyn.” My quick retort would have been only just audible to him through the door. “I don’t want to see anyone. Please…just…go…” and with that, I broke down into uncontrollable sobs again, hot tears cascading down my cheeks.

“Open the door, sweetheart.” Marilyn pleaded, moving to try and peer at me through the glass but I moved out of his view. “Please, let me in.”

“No!” I cried again, my knees giving out underneath me and I slid down onto the cold tile floor.

“If you don’t open it yourself, I’ll just pick the lock…or kick the door down. Either works for me.” He threatened.

Quieting my sobs as much as I could, I picked myself up off the tiles, and placed my hand on the door handle. I felt him let go of the handle on the other side of the door and, for a short moment, part of me actually did want him to kick the door in and be my saviour of sorts. But I banished the thought from my head and, slowly, unlocked and opened the door.

When I looked up at him, I knew I looked a right mess. Technically my clothes were fine, but the rest of me sure wasn’t, and he saw it straight away. My eyes were red and sore from both crying and a lack of sleep, I was pale from no sunlight and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. I didn’t want to be seen like this but, then again, I wanted my door intact for some time to come.

“Alright, you’ve seen me. Now go.” I sniffled, another tear sliding down my face as I motioned for him to just leave. But he wasn’t having any of that.

“No, I’m not going.” He said and pulled me in for a hug, hold me tightly, ignoring my weak attempts to push him away. “You need alot of TLC…Marilyn Manson style.”

“What would your pretty, blonde, girlfriend say?” I choked out, not nearly as much vindictiveness in my voice as I wanted. Instead, my question came out weary and tortured… not what I’d aimed for at all.

“Not my girlfriend.” He replied and held me even tighter against his chest.

“But…”

“She’s Twiggy’s fiancé, Sarah.” He explained, stroking my hair. “They’d stayed with me that night… where they’d had a rather loud escapade on my leather sofa where you saw her. She isn’t easily embarrassed… Twiggy was using my shower when you were there that day.” His voice became softer, gentler, as he continued. “You ran away before I could explain.”

“Oh…” I felt so…stupid.

“Besides,” he whispered gently into my hair. “I’ve already got my eye on someone else…and, from the way she reacted just now, I’d say she likes me too…”

A soft, involuntary gasp escaped my lips as he said those words and I looked up into his beautiful, brown eyes. And there for that moment in his arms, and the time he took care of me in, I no longer cared for anything else…

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