The Beautiful Katastrophe

(XV) Date Night

     I was driving my car a half hour to Michael's hotel room in Beverly Hills. I was going to be set up to do his hair there.

Michael was sitting in the passenger seat, shielded by Ray Bans and a Dodgers baseball cap. I was grateful for this car ride alone with him because I was ready to break my silent streak. Yes, I had a strange craving to be with him in one way or another but I was willing to accept the fact that it was something that wasn't going to happen, not now anyway. Michael and I were too different.

First, I cleared my throat. "Mike?"

His focus was swooned on the artwork he was creating in his sketchbook. "Yeah?"

"I don't know if you want to hear this but..." I felt him glance towards me. "I owe you a huge apology."

"For what?"

"For everything." I took a deep breath.

Apologies weren't my thing, not when it came to guys. So, I didn't really know how to do this but... better late than never.

"Look," I said, "I know I can come off a bit selfish, sometimes. But, umm..." I smiled to myself.

"What?"

I peeked at him and our eyes locked for two seconds. "I do love you. You were literally the best boyfriend I've ever had. I've never connected with anyone like that."

"Not even Prince?" Michael asked, smartly.

"No. I've never dated him."

"Right."

"What we had was very special, you and I. And I regret screwing it up. I just want you to know I'm sorry." I removed my right hand from the steering wheel to latch on to his left hand. "And I want us to be more than cordial. I need us to be friends. I know it's difficult to understand after everything that happened but I really do care about you, still."

For a moment, I could feel his smile but then he sighed. "Well, why did you do it, then?"

I sighed, too. "Michael, I don't know. I mean, I know I said it's because I love him but the real question I can't answer is why was it so easy for me to just betray you like that."

"Because you're in love with him."

I took a moment to take in his words.

"You could've prevented a lot of broken hearts, Kat, if you would've just tried out the whole relationship thing with him a long time ago." Michael released from my grip and the paper crinkled as he turned a page.

"But I couldn't. I didn't trust him. He's always had at least three girlfriends at the same time. I was never interested in dealing with that. Even if we were committed just to each other, I would still have to deal with all the women trying to get to him."

"But you know how you are. You just keep going back to him. He's obviously not that bad. I know it's not just for sex."

"No. He's honestly a good person. He just has issues with control and that scares me, a little. At first, I thought it was just with his band. He'll rehearse them for a full 24 hours if he has to. But I've also noticed it with his women. I'm not like any of the girls he's really been with. In some way, shape, or form, they work for him or has worked with him in the past. They're all like his little Barbie dolls. But he can't control me and he knows it. That scares him. That's why he left me when I decided to work for you. Because I had too much control with what I was going to do with my life. I was going to leave Minneapolis and work in L.A. for Michael Jackson. I should've known he wasn't going to really go for that. But he's the one who said he wanted us together. Then he left, anyway. And it sucked. Because when Prince is done with you, he's literally through. I thought I'd never see him again."