Adam and Stevie

Chapter 9:

I put on my black suit. Stevie did my tie. We were attending my father's funeral. I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cold pillar. Mom came in and hugged Stevie. She had become quite close with him the past week, admiring his take charge attitude. He had basically organised the whole funeral what with mom being beside herself. He made sure she ate and slept. He was an angel. I had been quite off with him but he took it in his stride. I felt guilty about my father. Mom asked Stevie to give us a minute. He nodded and kissed her cheek, then pulled the doors closed behind him. I sat and mom sat across from me and gripped my hand in both of her soft, dainty hands. "Honey, I want you to know I am proud of you. You stood up to your father in a way I never could. Your father was a mean, stubborn old bastard." I looked at her shocked. She had never said a bad word about father. "But in saying that, there is something you should know. I was pregnant when I met your father. Your father left me... for another man. When I met your dad... he said that he would raise you as his own. When I gave birth to you everyone had asked it was a shotgun wedding. Your father would just laugh and tap the side of his nose."

My jaw hung open as I tried to comprehend all of this. "I think he was afraid your "affliction" would land you in the same boat as the man who made you. When he found you and James it killed him. I've never minded it love. You are my son and I love you regardless." I stood up and pulled her into an embrace. We stayed like that until Stevie came to tell us people were starting to arrive. Mom proudly introduced Stevie as my partner, some were stunned into silence, some were elated and some indifferent.

There were a few who hinted at having guessed I was. James walked in at that point. He looked very handsome in his suit. He came over and hugged me and Stevie. We took our seats and the sermon started. The part came for me to say something. Mom squeezed my hand and gave me an encouraging look. I stood up and stood facing everyone, family, friends... I gulped, suddenly nervous. My hands were shaking. I took out my paper and tore it up. "I had a generic speech prepared, you know the usual what a good man, blah, blah, blah. But it's no secret I never had a good relationship with my father. He was stubborn and hard to get along with." I took a breath and looked at mom, not daring to catch anyone else's eye.

Stevie had her arm linked in his and she was wiping away tears but smiled at me and nodded her head as if to say go ahead. "Now the thing about death is you find out the true character of a person. As you all found out today I am gay. Have always been. I only recently came out. My dad couldn't handle it. Yes, he didn't support my choice but this is what he did do for me." I went into the story of how my father left and dad took responsibility. There were audible gasps and shocked faces. "If anyone has a bad word to say about my mother they will have to deal with me. It's not her fault he left. My father was a good man. It's not everyone who can take another man's child and raise them as their own. I understand him now, too late in life. He tried to protect my mother in all this. I do not excuse him not accepting me but I at least know the reason behind it now. Father, please pray." Everyone started filtering out the church. Dad's casket was on its way to the burial site. Mom was talking to a man I didn't know and looked upset. I went over and introduced myself. Once I got closer I knew this man immediately even though we had never met. He had my eyes and broad shoulders and the same dimple in his left cheek. "Adam, I'm Anthony. I saw the funeral notice in the paper. I'm your fa-" I stopped him there. "Don't! You are not my father. You're nothing more than a sperm donor. LEAVE NOW!" I growled. He turned and got into an old maroon Mercedes where someone was waiting for him. I didn't bother looking back.
We were back at the house after lowering the casket and the house was filled with people and food. I couldn't stomach anything despite all Stevie's efforts. I was however on my third whisky. People kept patting my shoulder condescendingly. James tilted his head and I followed him outside. "How's about we get away from here for a while. Go for a drink?" I looked back overl my shoulder. Stevie was mingling with mom at his side. Would they even notice I was gone? We walked down to the bar on the beach. I got a beer as did James. We sat on the sand and I removed my shoes and socks relishing the feeling of the sand on my feet. James did the same. He laid back on the sand and his shirt rose up revealing his toned, hairless stomach. He caught me looking and smiled a crooked smile. He patted the sand next to him. I laid back and stared at the sky. It was turning from blue to a pinky-orange. I turned my face to James and thought I saw longing in his eyes. I looked away. I was in a bad space. I couldn't be thinking these things. "So you and Stevie, you guys are serious huh?" He looked a bit sad as he said it. I closed my eyes going back to when James and I were together. I had loved him so much but Stevie's words rang through my mind. "He got the boy, I got the man." It was true. I was a totally different person. "Yup, he's the one. I loved you James, so much." He smiled and took my hand. "But you love Stevie more. I get it. I can only hope to find someone like you one day. Friends?" I nodded and smiled for the first time that day. "You'll find someone, a hot young thing like you." Stevie's voice came from behind us startling me into sitting upright and leaving James' hand much to his disappointment. "You're lucky I heard all that and I'm not the jealous type or this would have looked bad!" He smiled and sat down between us. He took each of our hands in his. "James, thanks for being such a good friend to Adam."