On the other side of the door was a bed that covered half the room. Hanging up on the walls were all sorts of belts - leather ones, soft, rough, all sorts. There was a glass chest of drawers and the top shelf contained a music player.
“What is this?”
“This is.. me”
“What do you mean?”
“This is what I do. This is what I’ve always done”
I was shocked. I didn’t know how to reply. What does anyone say to that?
“I want to do this with you” he spoke gently.
“This?” My voice was barely a whisper, all out of breath.
“Only if you want to”
As my eyes scanned the room many more times, I felt sick.
“Why?” I managed to ask him.
“This is how I live. This is me, all of me”
“Will you hurt me, physically?”
“Only if you deserve it, but pain is something your mind believes in. It’s not really painful, though the idea of it may be painful” He eyed me before continuing, “We don’t have to do this”
“If I don’t, will you leave?” I asked him. There, I said it, and my mind started to jump to conclusions that he wouldn’t want me if I can’t do this for him.
“No, but it will be difficult for me”
“What do you mean?”
“MacKayla, this is the only way I know how to live”
“But in the car, the office, my home -”
“I know, but it’s not me”
“This isn’t me”
“I know, but I’m asking you to try”
“Okay”
He spun his head, his eyebrows raised in confusion, “What?”
“I’ll try, for you”
“Really?”
“Yes. If this is how you want to do it, then the least I can do is try” I shrugged my shoulders.
Suddenly, I was in his arms wrapped around my waist and his hand was in my hair. Taken by surprise, my hand grabs a hold of his arm and I feel something different in the kiss. His desire is something more and he doesn’t let go so easily. We’re in the middle of this room filled with secrets of his past and he’s kissing me. I need answers, but I’m lost. I’m lost in the kiss. My hands go into his hair and push his face closer to me and he pushes me back, up against a wall as he gets his knee between my legs.
I moan into the kiss as his hands roam my body, surprising me and I crave for more. I crave for his touch. I crave for his hands on me. I crave for his mouth on me. But my eyes shift and I see what’s behind him. It’s the ruler and belts and I’m scared once again.
Stop. The word is out of my mouth before I can even realize it.
He stops right then. “What’s wrong?”
My eyes leave the belts and I’m looking at him and he’s worried.
“Nothing” I reply, shaking my head.
His eyes search mine, but I keep glancing behind him and soon he realizes.
“Let’s get you out of here” He steps back and grabs my hand.
“Chris, I’m fine, really”
He shakes his head, “No, you’re not”
“I’ll be fine” I grab his arm and pull him close and I pour out everything into that kiss. Gently lifting me, he takes me to the center of the room and rests me down on the bed.
“Just tell me when to stop” He says sternly and I nod my head, too breathless to reply.
He walks over to the cabinet and opens the glass doors and plays some gentle music as he searches the other drawers for what - I’m not sure of. His back is facing me and I give up trying. I stare up at the ceiling and drown myself in the music.
“I hope you’re okay” Chris is looking down at me. He’s removed his shirt and is only wearing his jeans.
I nod my head, “Yeah” my voice becomes small. His hands are behind my back and the anticipation is building up.
He leans down and kisses me gently; his hands still behind his back. I try to glance a peek but he just shakes his head, “Not yet”
I pout my lips but he smiles and takes one thing out - a blindfold.
“You want me to wear this?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
“Yes, I want to try something”
“But how will I see anything?”
“That’s the point. You have to feel what I do, not see”
“Okay” he helps me with the blindfold and lies me down again.
“Can you see anything?” he asks me.
“Nope”
“I’m going to start off slow but if at any point you do feel like it’s too overwhelming, just tell me stop and I will, okay?”
“Okay”
“Just relax and remember, if you think something’s going to be painful, it will be because it’s all in your head”
YOU ARE READING
Complicated
FanfictionI read Fifty Shades of Grey twice the past month, and I just REALLY LOVE the book, so I kind of made a story around it, but it doesn't have everything that's in the book. Christopher Grey is the CEO of his own company, Grey's Designs, and he's not...
