In The End

20: Bea-UTIFUL RAINBOW OVER THERE

A cute pic of Remington for you guys before this exciting chapter!

   

Two weeks later:
   I stare at the food I'd ordered this morning at the small comfy coffee shop I'd stumbled upon on my walk here in Salt Lake City. We only have ten more venues. Ten more possible venues for my dad to kill me. I push the thought away. Maybe he really was bluffing. Focus on other things, Blade.
     It's only about eight in the morning, so no one in the bus was awake. I'd left a note saying I'd be back by noon, one at the latest, so they wouldn't be worried. The shop's nearly empty. Then again, I can tell it's probably an afternoon type of place. But even so, sitting in the window sofa, my fleece leggings brushing my fingertips due to my legs being tucked at my side, my black  and salmon Adidas on the floor in front of me, under the small, round, glass topped table.
    The food on it isn't much, a small, untouched blueberry muffin. Probably delicious. But I know if I eat it, I'll throw it up. And no, I'm not bulimic. I did not start my eating disorders again. But I've been getting morning sickness. Ever since that night with Remington. This is also why I've decided to get up early before anyone wakes up. Jake gets up at ten, and would've offered to walk with me. But I don't want anyone to worry. Not until I know for sure.
    With that I down the rest of my caramel coffee, and slide back into my shoes, taking the glass cup up to the counter and paying before I leave. I head to the nearest corner store, buying three pregnancy tests: aka leaving the store with a pocket thirty dollars lighter. I walk back to the coffee shop, only three minutes from the corner store, and ask to use their restroom.
     Once the girl shows me the way, I go in and lock the door behind me, nervous about the result of these tests. I quickly follow the instructions and set the timer, passing the five minutes by vomiting and heaving. I manage to clean myself up just in time for the alarm I set to go off. I hold my breath, glancing at the tests.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

   "How was your walk, girlfriend?" Juju asks from the couch, Cybil adding a nod of agreement. I shrug, saying:
   "Good. Hey, I'm gonna go over to see Remington. Are the guys up yet?"
    Juju snorts. "Jake is. He's showering." I nod, then quickly change out of my clothes that smell like vomit, holding my small black leather purse close to me.
   I change into a snug cream colored crop top that shows off my new black belly button piercing, my black leather shorts, and my black vans, throwing my hair into a half up half down. I dyed it black, knowing that the pink would only fade because of how much I sweat on warped. I grab my purse with both hands, holding it to me as I leave, calling a curt 'bye' over my shoulder.
     When I get to the Palaye Royale bus, Emerson is smoking outside. "Hey Darling," he says casually, letting out a puff of the poison.  I smile.
   "Hi, Emerson, what's new?"
   "Nothing much, just tired of Steph and Sebs making googly eyes at each other from across the bus." I laugh at Em's way of putting things.
   "Not tired of me and Remi yet?"
   "Oh, never. You two are a different kind of cute. You're so cute no one really competes. It's more of everyone knows you're a match from heaven, so it's like no one will bother. In shorter terms: you two are so cute it makes me sick." This makes me laugh more.
    "Alright, gonna go talk to Rem, talk to you later, Boo."
   "Alright, bye, Darling." I slip into the bus.
    Remi is sitting on the couch with Steph and Sebastian, watching whatever's on TV. He looks up upon my entering though. When he sees me, he smiles. "Hey, love," he greets, as I walk over to him. I smile quietly, curling up into his side. I take a few moments to relax and calm myself before kissing his jaw and leaning up a bit more to whisper, "can I talk to you for a minute?" He glances down at me with a smile before nodding, and I grab his hand to lead him into the back room.
   I never really understood why people get nervous to tell their loved one that they're pregnant. At least, not when they've been together for a while, and they weren't a one night stand. I've always thought that it was childish, and so unnecessary.
   But Remington and I have only been dating for two weeks, and the first day we really had spent quality time together, we had sex, it being my first time too. I don't know, I guess I thought that why should it matter if I'd be dead before my twentieth birthday. That being said, what I'm about to tell him has the potential to ruin the only thing that been going good in my life for the past six months. Two weeks. Normally it's two years. But we weren't that lucky. I sigh as he lays down on the bed, putting his hands behind his head. Dang he looks hella fine, and those tattoos though--
Focus! Focus focus focus!
  "What's up, Ma Chérie?" He asks me, and I blush. What!? Not my fault my boyfriend decided to dedicate a song from his record to me.
    "Um," I try, clearing my throat and wringing my fingers. I didn't even notice that I started pacing until I see his calm, amused eyes following me. "Well, uh," I try again, stopping in front of him, holding my purse to me with one hand as I scratch my head with the other. "see," I try again, only to fail. His eyes on me make my voice run away, and I know one thing for sure: I can't look him in the eye and tell him.
So I do the only logical thing.
   I avert my eyes, chuck my purse at his chest, in which he grunts in surprise, and shout after a nervous laugh "look inside I'm gonna go back to the coffee shop see you later, Kay? Kay!!" And I get the hell outta dodge. Or in this case, the Palaye tour bus. I sprint past the cuddling couple who call after me, past a now concerned Emerson, and all the way back to the coffee shop. I sigh, turning my phone on mute. What if he hates me? What if I just ruined the only thing I had going for me. They did tell me I wouldn't be able to dance the same after my ankle injury. I order another Caramel Coffee, and sit myself back in the window sofa, my muffin still sitting there, untouched from the half hour I left it. It's still empty in here, just me and two others at the other side of the shop, and I decide to just look out the window.
    I feel a tear escape my eyes. Why can't I do anything right? Why did I have sex, knowing that pregnancy follows, and that I might not be alive for the nine months it takes to cherish the infant?
    I watch the people pass while sipping on my coffee, when I see Remington fast walk up the street, my purse in his had. He's now wearing a ripped black muscle shirt, black skinny jeans, and black combat books, his makeup ringed eyes searching frantically for a something. He's reading signs. I stiffen. That's when I remember I told him I was getting coffee. He's right outside my window now, reading the sign above it, and he glances down. Curse my fluffing luck!!!
    As his eyes meet mine, I stop breathing. What's his move? His move is apparently to race into the coffee shop, look around like a mad man, and walk up to me quickly. He lifts my legs and sits next to me, placing them back down on his lap.
I can't meet his eyes. I play with my coffee cup as I glance at the rim, watching the liquid slosh. What will he say? Will he scream? Will he be mad? Will he be chill, but mad that I hit him with my purse?
He sets a finger under my chin, lifting my head to took at him. I hesitantly look him in the eyes. He stares back, worry in his eyes. My heart sinks. What does that mean?
"You're pregnant?" He asks softly, and I shut my eyes, letting the lone tear escape, and run down my cheek. He releases my face, only to wipe my tear away and rest his palm on my cheek. I lean into his hand. I open my eyes and nod, confirming his question. He plays with a piece of his hair, something I've noticed he does when he's bored or worried or nervous. But never when he's angry. That's a good sign, right?
He sighs, taking my coffee and sets it in the table in front of us. "Why did you run?"
I feel the tears well up in my eyes. "Because I couldn't look you in the eye and say it. I didn't want to ruin the one thing that seems to be going good in my life right now. Because we've only been dating for two flipping weeks and I couldn't find it in me to tell you that I've ruined your life." I didn't even have the heart to substitute the F word with a funnier word. I didn't even have the heart to look him I the eye as I said this. He sighs, lifting me up and setting me on his lap as he hugs me, stroking my hair and letting me cry into his chest.
"Listen to me carefully, Blade: you did not ruin my life. I'm actually kind of really happy about this baby. Sure, it's earlier than I'd like to have a kid, me being twenty-two, but as Emerson puts it, we're on Spaceship Earth, it's a trip. Sweety, we've only got one life, we can't spend it in regret. And I don't know about you, but I do NOT regret that night two weeks ago." He finishes his statement with a wink, and I giggle.
"I don't either. It's just...you're somebody. You've got a lot going for you. What's the plan for me after warped? I go back to taking care of a Mom with dementia and getting the fluff bea-UTIFUL RAINBOW OVER THERE!" I say, thankful that there is, indeed, a rainbow painting hanging on the wall. Remington gives me a curious look, glancing at he painting and laughing, but still wondering what I was going to say.
He takes a piece of my black hair. "Sure, I'm somebody. And so are you. So is the girl behind the counter over there, and the man out there who dropped his phone in that puddle." At this he chuckles. "But this baby isn't gonna ruin anything. It isn't going to change anything. Okay, sure lots of things will change, but not my feelings for you. Maybe they'll grow stronger. The point is, I'm still crazy into you, and now there's just more to love. Another person soon-to-be in my life as pretty or as handsome as you. Or I don't know. He could end up weird like Emerson." At this I laugh, which brings a goofy smile to Remi's face. His thumb gently grazes my cheek. "So don't cry, okay everything's gonna be just fine. I'll love you and the baby, and I'll be there for you both." I let a sad smile grace my lips, and look out the window to see my dad. I gasp.
"But we might not be there for you."
"Huh?"
"Run!"
And with that, I take Remi's hand and drag him out the back door.