Never Alone (Anime(Kpop) x reader) REQUESTS OPEN

Taemin X Self-harm!Anorexic!Reader

  TRIGGER WARNING
You have been warned. If you can not stomach such things, DO NOT READ THEM!
And to the rest of you, welcome to my first one shot collection. It was requested by:

I hope I don't disappoint any of you. If you have any comments, requests or FRIENDLY advice, feel free to leave them in the comment section or on my profile. I will try to take everything into consideration. Thank you!
Now, on with the story.

Taemin X Self-harm!Anorexic!Reader

AU!(I will try and take the concept from his latest single Press Your Number)

Your POV:

I can't take this anymore. I don't want this to continue. It's too much.
I have had a terrible relationship with my foster parents for years and suffered a lot of abuse as a child. When my brother 18 he quickly took me away and we ran as far away as possible. All we took were a few personal belongings we had managed to gather in one evening. We were gone before our 'parents' woke up the next morning. Our biological parents died when I turned 2 and my brother turned 4. We were accepted by what seemed at the time to be a nice married couple. But in about a year we realized that we were terribly wrong. We ended with a mom that was never home and an alcoholic for a dad. We didn't know the mom very well, so we thought that maybe she would protect us, but she betrayed us. Me especially. Whenever her husband would come home drunk and decide that he needs to punish us for something, she would just stand and watch or go to another room. She showed no remorse or pity. The only kindness she would show would be when guests would come over. She was the ideal mother during those moments. We survived the best we could and now we are free, but the scars run deep and even now, in my new, happy home, the problems I could not get rid of haunt me.
My brother and I lived on the streets for a while, until he got some shady job and got us a small apartment. I was able to get a job to cover my expenses. I needed money for food at the very least and I couldn't rely to much on my brother since he would appear and disappear at random. At some point he disappeared all together. I still hope that he is alive somewhere, but simply does not want to get me involved in whatever he is doing, but at this point I can only guess. I stumbled (quite literally) on a young man whose name I later learned to be Taemin. He offered me a job as his maid and promised me a good sum of money if I did my job properly. At first he seemed cold and distant, but as time went by we became very close and I saw what kind of a goofy young man he was. He kept a strong front because, as it turns out, he was involved in some dangerous underground business, but when we were alone he was a kind, sweet, childish boy that needed someone to talk to.

At some point I became his girlfriend and he told me that I was going to be moving in with him. He would not listen to my excuses, so I just gave up(not like I was so against the idea). I was promoted from maid to beloved girlfriend and he wouldn't let me do anything, unless I really asked him. I try to at least make his food and clean our room.

Despite the fact that I have been in a loving relationship for about half a year now, my past won't leave me alone. As a teen I cut to somehow vent out all of the misery I felt. I would get physically abused, but when I would do it to myself. somehow I would forget about the abuse. I never stopped. It became a habit that I would return too whenever I would remember something terrible or my mind would be plagued by negative thoughts.

When I started living on my own, money was tight and I would eat very little. I lost a lot of weight and I suddenly felt good about myself. I thought for a split second that I was beautiful. I realize that that was the first step towards anorexia, but now it is something I can't get rid of, but I can't do it alone. I need help.

But who should I ask?

I don't have any friends except for Taemin. Taemin.....

He hasn't noticed any of this simply because I have been trying to hide it. I hurt myself on my stomach of high up on my thighs so he won't notice(I don't walk around naked, so he doesn't see them). I even try and hide it with makeup under my shirt. I eat at dinner and then quickly excuse myself to throw up.

But the thing that worries me is if he finds out, he will leave me. He could have anyone we wants with his good looks and money. Why should he stay with someone like me? I can't stand this feeling. I feel like I am a burden, weighing him down and stopping him from attaining true happiness, perhaps in someone else's arms.....

I should leave. He has done enough for me already. Now I should give him the chance to live and find the person that is right for him.

You gather some clothes into your suitcase and try to keep the tears from falling. You try to do it as fast as you can before Taemin returns from his meeting.

Too late.

You hear the door to your room open and close and footsteps quickly approaching the spot where you sat on the floor. You gather what strength you have left to turn around and look at your boyfriend, but you instantly regret it.
His face portrays utter shock and he is speechless.
You turn back around and try to quickly finish what you have started. Once Taemin comes back to his senses, he firmly grabs your arms, lifting you off the floor and carefully drags you over to your shared bed. He sits you down and himself kneels in front of you. You sit there motionless and he has his eyes closed, trying to gather his thoughts and think of what he is about to say. His tight grip on your arms has slipped to your wrists and you can feel him slightly shaking. You have never seen him so shaken up and you open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it.
"Why?"
"W-why what?"
"Why are you doing this? Why are you leaving me?!"
"I-I d-on't l-love you a-anymore and I-I think I-I should l-leave and l-let you f-find someone b-better."
You could hardly hold in your tears as you lied to his face and he could clearly see that. The grip on your wrists became stronger and it was a bit painful.
"Liar! Stop lying and tell me the truth!"
You winced as the pain in your wrists brought new tears to your eyes. He sees this and tries to calm himself down, bringing your lightly bruised wrists to his lips and pressing light kisses to the red marks.
"Please, (Name)."
"What?"
"Tell me you love me."
"......"
"(Name)...."
His voice sounds so sad and you can feel his lips tremble with each kiss he presses to your wrists. You can't lie to him.
"Of course I love you, Taemin."
I faint smile graces his lips, but is quickly replaced by a grim expression. He lets go of your hands and lies down on your bed, motioning for you to join him. You slowly lie down beside him and he possessively wraps his arms around your waist. Due to his childish demeanor around you, you sometimes forget how manly Taemin really is. You are reminded at times like this, when his strong arms are wrapped around you and you can hardly breath. You need to tell him, but you don't know where to start. But before you can say a word, Taemin already has something to say.
"I know."
Know?! He knows?! What does he know?
"I know about your habit."
"H-How? W-When-"
"I had noticed something strange for a while now, but I didn't know what it was and the other night when you were sleeping your shirt rode up your stomach, showing me your scars and just how thin you have gotten. Is this what sparked your sudden decision to leave me?"
His eyes widened when he felt you trembling in his arms and lifted your chin to kiss away your tears. You couldn't answer him so you weakly nodded. You felt him sigh and leave a firm kiss on your trembling lips.
"I thought that you deserve someone without all of these problems, someone who-"
"-No. I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else. I only need you."
"Taemin...."
"Listen to me, (Name), you are perfect just the way you are. I will try the best I can to help you get rid of your bad habits, but you need to promise me that you will never do something like this again. If you feel like hurting yourself, come to me, if I am not around, call me and I will come right away. Don't hurt yourself over something that has passed. Do you promise?"
You weakly smile and nod your head. Taemin kisses your lips and proceeds to leave a trail of kisses from your lips to your collarbone and back. You giggle and squirm from the sensation of feather-light kisses being pressed to your neck and you can feel him smile against your skin. He raises his head and looks you strait in the eye. He opens his mouth to say something and this time you are the one to interrupt him.
"I love you, Oppa."
He smiles and gently strokes your cheek.
"You took the words right out of my mouth."