PERMANENT - Leonardo DiCaprio

Chapter 14 - Drunk in 'love'?

Sunday 2.47am

The grand doors to our hotel lobby opened as I walked in, the air conditioning hitting me suddenly, but I welcomed it. It made a change from the stuffy hot taxi I had just spent an hour in coming back from Jake's hotel.  We had spent the rest of the afternoon in Avenida Revolución, the touristy area of Tijuana. It was nice seeing him and spending time with him, but as much as I wanted to stay, I had to get back to Rosarito so that I was ready for filming in the morning, and it was already nearing 3am.

My heels were in my hand as I walked barefoot on the cold lobby tiles, not really caring how much of a mess I looked this time of night – everyone except the receptionist, who was preoccupied with some papers on the desk in front of him, was asleep. The lights were dimmed, and the whole atmosphere felt very warm and calming. I plodded along mindlessly until I walked past the entrance to the bar, where I retraced my steps to look back inside.

There, sitting on his own drinking some sort of blue (very likely alcoholic) drink, the same one that I saw him drinking the very first time we met, was Leo. I frowned, wondering what the hell he was doing drinking himself into oblivion at this time of the night when he had to be up in 5 hours to shoot. Something had to be wrong.

I started walking down to the bar, not saying a word. When I got to him, I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder, looking down at him. He glanced up, bleary eyed, and smiled lopsidedly, so I took a seat.

After a moment, I spoke up, seeing as he wasn't about to. "What's up? And don't tell me 'nothing',"

"Nothing." he replied. I sighed, taking his drink away from him and sliding it away from him across the bar. "I paid for that you know." He slurred.

"Yeah big guy I don't think money's a problem for you," I retorted. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you sleeping? What could possibly have happened in those 11 hours I was away, huh?" He said nothing.

"Didn't you see Kristen?" I asked, feeling slightly helpless as I didn't have a clue how to help him if he wasn't gonna co-operate.

"Ah well see Kristen, Kristen, I did not see." he spoke, waving his finger around as if trying to make a point. I had a bad feeling that this wasn't going in a good direction.

I asked quietly and solemnly, "What happened?"

"Didn't work out apparently. Couldn't handle my work life. Now she's gone." he replied, sighing a big sigh.

"Leo I'm sorry..." I hung my head. He snorted and mumbled "Not your fault." Then, he proceeded to reach across the bar for his glass that I had taken away from him. Grabbing his arm, I stopped him. "We need to get you to bed okay? It's late and we have to shoot tomorrow, and god do not let Jim see you like this because he will murder you."

I hopped off of the bar stool and thanked the bar tender quietly, pulling Leo's arm to get him to move. He stumbled off and leant on me for support, his face incredibly close to mine. "Hi," he grinned.

"Ugh Leo you smell like alcohol jesus christ you're a mess. Come on," I put my arm around him to support him, as he clearly wasn't going to make it out of the bar and into his room by himself. As we walked, I deliberated taking the stairs, but decided that that would be way too much of a hassle, and it would probably take another 2 hours to get Leo anywhere, so I opted for the elevator.

When we reached his apartment after a short walk, I leaned him against the wall so that I could look for his keys. I searched in the pockets of his jacket, but they were empty apart from his phone, wallet (which was very heavy – unsurprisingly) and a pack of gum. I reached into the pockets of his jeans.

"Woah hello there," he joked indistinctly "what you're so eager you can't even wait to get into my room to reach for my pants huh?" he laughed a cocky, drunken laugh. I however, was not finding the situation funny – I was tired, had a headache, and I was worried about what state Leo will be in in the morning and if it will affect his acting abilities.

"Where are your keys?" I asked impatiently. He waited a moment before reaching into his pocket to pull out the keys, then chucking them at me. I put them in the door and it swung open, so I pushed Leo inside. Slowly, he heaved his jacket off wandered off into his bedroom while I closed the door. I followed him, and stopped in the doorway. He was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, eyes close to tears, all traces of his previous jokes wiped off his face.

I walked over and rubbed his back "Just get some rest now, okay? Clear your head," I spoke calmly, and tried to get him to lie down on the bed. His hands caught my arm as I was leaning over him.

"Stay with me, please. Stay." He tried pulling me down onto his bed, and I knew he just didn't want to be alone. I shook my head "I can't stay here," I pulled my arm out from his grasp, then stood there in front of him, watching him. "I'll be in the other room if you need me, okay?" I wasn't sure that he was listening anymore. I would've stayed right there with him if circumstances were different, but I had a boyfriend, who wouldn't appreciate me lying around with other guys, regardless of whether we were best friends or not – I know I wouldn't want him doing the same.

I closed the door behind me as I left the bedroom, walking over to the couch in the living room and clearing it of the mess. I sat down, but quickly stood back up and walked out of his front door, a couple of doors down to my own room. I unlocked the door, heading straight for my medicine cabinet that I had set up, digging out the aspirin. I dropped my heels and bag on the floor before I left, glancing up at the clock in the living room. 3.20am already. Filming tomorrow was going to be a nightmare, but at least I wouldn't wake up with a migraine like Leo probably was.

I locked the door and headed back to Leo's. Once inside, I filled up a glass of water in the kitchen and picked up the pack of aspirin, walking back into Leo's room. He was already sleeping, looking so peaceful and stress free. I put the water and aspirin on his bedside table, then just stood there and gazed at him (only for a moment, otherwise it would've been creepy). I brushed the hair out of his face and kissed his forehead, hoping it all worked out for him in the end.

I exited his room once again and laid down on the couch, but even though I was extremely tired, my eyes wouldn't close, and my mind was reeling. Leo couldn't have been this upset because it was Kristen. His nonchalance when talking about his relationship proved this. They barely talked and she never visited (probably why they broke up, but still). It wasn't because he broke up with her. Well, it was, but it was because it was someone else that was out of his life – that's what he meant by 'gone'. I knew this was something he was always so concerned and vulnerable about. She was another person that now knew about the ins and outs of his life, his secrets, who could spill everything to the media easily if she wanted to. And she's gone.

I exhaled loudly, throwing an arm over my face so that I could close my eyes and sleep, forcing myself to stop thinking. Within a couple of minutes, I was falling asleep.