PERMANENT - Leonardo DiCaprio

Chapter 24 - Gone

Thursday 11.05pm

I walked back through the lobby senselessly back to my room, not believing what had just happened, my fingers lightly brushing my lips where Leo's lips had been just moments before in disbelief. Alberto didn't look up from his desk, oblivious to what had just happened only a couple of feet away.

I felt disoriented, like I had been the last time this happened in Leo's apartment, only this time I didn't feel as bad about it. Walking past the bar, I slowed down my pace until I completely stopped, looking in. The two seats where me and Leo had sat months before after his drunken mess of a night were empty, as was much of the bar.

Mindlessly, I started walking forwards to the bar, where I sat myself down, causing the bar tender (the same one I saw that night) to glance at me sideways and put down the glasses he had been stacking behind the bar.

"What can I get you?" he asked with a smile. "You look like you could use it."

I looked at him, blank faced. "Thanks," I countered sarcastically, feeling slightly offended by his choice of words (did I really look that bad today?). But then again, I was feeling extra emotionally sensitive today – he could've told me I looked beautiful and I would've snapped.

"Yeah can I have.....uhh," I scanned the back shelf of the bar, which was lined with different alcoholic beverages that were illuminated by a strip of bright blue lights that ran all the way along the shelf. My eyes fell on the glass skull bottle, which had a metallic iridescent finish and gleamed in the light.

"That's pretty." I thought out loud. He looked behind him to where I was gazing, then turned back around. "Aah. Crystal Head Aurora. Flashy isn't it? A lot spicier than your average vodka. It's incredibly smooth too, with a warming finish." He said, as he lifted it off of its place on the shelf and put it down on the bar in front of me. I reached out my hand and my fingers ran over the shiny, colourful smooth surface. No wonder it was called 'Aurora', it was like a tribute to the Aurora Borealis – the Northern Lights.

"Yeah I'll have this." I replied, pushing it back to him. He picked it up, unscrewing the top and speaking up to explain again. "Okay well this goes well in 'The Crystal Cooler', one of our more popular drinks, or maybe 'The Pomegranate-"

"No no I'll have it straight." I interjected without missing a beat. He looked confused, concerned even.

"You're sure?" he asked to clarify that I really was ready to destroy my liver tonight, and possibly not make it out of the bar until the next day.

"Did I stutter?" I responded, deadpan. Wow I really was a bitch today. He didn't seem offended, however, as he smirked and muttered what sounded like 'fiesty' under his breath. My phone vibrated repeatedly in my pocket and so I slid it out.

'Jake calling'

I stared at the screen, waiting for it to ring out. It eventually stopped, and I put my phone away. The bar tender slid me the glass and I instantly took a gulp, scrunching up my face as it burned down my throat, leaving a trail of a warm tingle.

A couple of minutes later and the alcohol was beginning to take effect, mostly because I was a lightweight, but also because I hadn't eaten all day. This alcoholic kick went straight to my brain it seemed, as all my thoughts and feelings caught up with me.

I was hung up about the kiss, and I didn't know what to do with myself. These past few months, we had been fine for the most part, we hadn't even brought up the kiss in Leo's apartment again, and it looked like we had moved on from it, but now he went and did this, and it was like I was back to square one. Except this time, I didn't want to hide away from him, I wanted to see him, and I couldn't. But did it even mean anything? It wasn't anything too major, more like a prolonged peck on the lips - maybe he was just saying goodbye. I mean, it was Leo the ladies man we were talking about here. And what about his date with the 'pretty Mexican girl'?

The thoughts swirled in my head and they turned into one giant mess the more alcohol I drank. I rested my head on my arm which lay idly on the table, my other hand still clutching the glass. I must've looked like a state, bleary eyed like Leo had been when I found him here in the exact same seat months ago, except Leo wasn't going to find me and get me back to my room this time.

//

The loud clinks of glass woke me up as I lifted my head up from where it lay on the surface of the bar, my hair sticking to the side of my face. I looked around me. The ambient blue lights that illuminated the whole room were switched off, and instead replaced by the sunlight that poured in through the glass wall, which overlooked a scene of the early morning beach.

"Time to go sleeping beauty." I heard a voice say to the far right of me. It was the same bar tender from last night, I never got his name though. "We're just closing up to clean. We open back up in an hour if you fancy it, but you gotta go now."

I frowned, wanting to sleep some more, but sleeping like a drunken fool at the bar wasn't classy, nor was it as comfortable as my bed. Glancing at my phone, I could see it was already 9am.

I got up sluggishly. "Um, Ma'am?" I turned to look at him. "You never uhh.....you didn't pay for your drink." He said coyly. I opened my purse and rummaged around. "How much did you say it was?" I asked, not taking my eyes away from my purse.

"$104." My eyes shot up and widened. "$104??" I asked in disbelief. "Yeah well, it would've been less but you drank the whole bottle." He replied, apparently amused, by the look on his face. Shameful.

"God what's it made out of? Angel dust?" I asked in frustration, putting my purse away. He looked confused for a second "That's a.....drug,"

I let out an embarrassed laugh. Clearly I had lived a sheltered life what with my lack of drug knowledge. "Just charge it to my room please." He nodded with a tired smile and I strolled away, back out to the lobby, where Alberto had already finished his shift (some cute elderly lady I hadn't ever seen before had taken his place).

I was already up and walking past the others' apartments, nearly at my own door, when Leo's apartment's door flung open. My eyes widened, anticipating for Leo to come out. Of course, he didn't. A young couple emerged, giggling and embracing like loved up teenagers. All I could do was just stand there. Leo's presence had been taken away completely - I couldn't even pretend he was here because his room was already in use by someone else, empty of his belongings and replace by these strangers' things. I was probably making too big of a deal about this whole thing - it wasn't like I was never going to see him again, but after basically living with him for about 6/7 months, seeing him every single day as if we were joined at the hip, it felt like a big change.

Deciding to not look like too much of a pathetic creep, I took the remaining couple of steps to my door and unlocked it, where I had a shower and left again within 20 minutes for work, calling Rob to ask him to get me breakfast so that it was ready when I got to set.