PERMANENT - Leonardo DiCaprio

Chapter 26 - Secret's Out

Thursday 7.32pm (2 weeks later)

"And now to Penelope," Jim declared, champagne glass raised in the air. "The star of the show, an undeniably talented young woman, and a compassionate soul." I smiled widely as I sat at the table, surrounded by the film crew at a local Mexican restaurant, holding my glass of lemonade (I still wasn't ready to drink after my night at the bar). "This is only the beginning." He said, beaming down at me."Salut!" Everyone cheered, clinking our glasses and proceeding to drink.

"It's a shame the rest of the cast couldn't be here, Leo at least," Jim said after he had sat back down. I thought back to the last I had heard of him, the club in New York. We hadn't really talked since he left, mostly because he had been 'busy' and was catching up with the life he missed, but also because I didn't know how to act again.

"Listen Jim, I think I'm gonna head back," I said, leaning in closer to him so that he could hear over the cheery background chatter, grabbing my things from the table. "You sure?" he quizzed.

"Yeah, yeah I'm gonna drive back. Early flight tomorrow and I haven't even finished packing." He nodded and stood up, so I followed suit. We shared a hug and I walked around the table to give the rest of the film crew a hug. "I'll see you in about a month, take care of yourself doll." With a final farewell, I left for my car.

//

I walked down the 'arrivals' lane with my bags among the flow of the crowd. It was nice – no one knew who I was yet, but I knew that was going to change. The film hadn't even released any promotions and articles were already writing about the film (Leo was in it, so of course they would be writing about it).

"PEN!" I heard a screech ahead of me. I spotted her in the crowd, picking up my pace, but she was already sprinting to me. "Oh my god!" she jumped on me, enclosing me in her little arms, pushing me back with the force of her jump. "Aaliyah," I breathed, relieved to be reunited with one of my closest friends. She detached herself from me, smiling fully, showing off her perfect straight teeth.

"I can't believe it's you, you're here!" she gushed, still holding on to my arms. "It's so good to be back, it's so surreal." I said, close to crying. I couldn't believe I was with her again after not seeing her for half a year.

"Here, I'll help you with your bags, give them." She hurried to help me, picking up my bags and moving out of people's way as she did so.

"We have a lot of catching up to do my little superstar," Aaliyah said cheekily, starting to walk ahead of me to the exit. I smiled, I hadn't realised how much I had missed her – I had Leo, of course, but there was something about a girl's company. I picked up my other bags and started walking to catch up to her.

//

"You're smoking? Since when?" Aaliyah quizzed, with a cynical look on her face as I pulled out my pack of cigarettes from my bag and placed them on my couch, back in my own Santa Monica apartment.

"Occasionally...I dunno I don't really wanna make a habit out of it but I sort of lived with it like every day back in Rosarito so," I explained, unloading my bags.

"Leo?" she asked, glint in her eye.

"Yeah...." I replied softly. Thinking about him made me confused. I missed him, we had only talked briefly on text, and I wasn't sure if he had feelings for me, and me for him. We were best friends, there was no doubt about that, but best friends don't kiss each other like that.

"So tell me," she queried again, making herself comfortable on my couch, lying on her stomach with her chin in the palms of her hands. "What?" I asked with a smile.

"About Leo, duh," she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What about him?"

"Well you said you had grown close back when we talked when you first got to Mexico, but then we never really talked about it again."

I thought about this. What could I say? What could I possibly say? It's not like I could say 'Oh yes he's one of the most famous guys in the world, we're best friends, we essentially lived with each other for half a year, oh yeah and we made out a couple of times and now I don't know what to do, oh AND I still have a boyfriend.'

So I kept it simple. "He means so much to me." At least that part was true.

"Awwww Pen you're so lucky," she said dreamily. "God if I was besties with Leo.....man.....let's just say we wouldn't just be friends, you know what I'm saying?" she giggled. I looked down from her face to what I was fiddling with in my hand, a souvenir me and Leo had each bought in Mexico – a gorgeous Talavera pottery piece. I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself anymore, I had to tell someone.

"We kissed." Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth parted in shock, or maybe it was confusion. Either way, she was lying there unmoving.

"Like....for real?" she croaked. I nodded "Yeah.....and then like a hundred times after when we had to film, oh god" I explained, running my hands through my hair.

"Oh my god." She seemed to be taking what I had said in, her eyes darting off into the distance, "Penelope.....what does that mean? Are you....like are you toge-"

"NO no, we're not. That's why I'm so confused. Maybe it was in the heat of the moment, I don't know. He's out there partying with other girls and I don't even know if I want to go there with him and make everything messed up and ruin our friendship and-"

"Shut up a second!" Aaliyah interrupted – she was always straight to the point. "Do you want to do it again? Kiss him, I mean," I looked away from her gaze, not wanting to admit that the answer was probably yes.

"Well there you go then...." She concluded from my reaction. "Urgh honey you got some thinking to do." Her phone erupted in sound, breaking us out of the intense conversation (at least it felt intense to me). I really thought about what she said. I did want to get with Leo again, but the thought of it made me feel weird and wrong – I wasn't supposed to do that with my best friend.

"Sorry, gotta run, mom's back in town." She gathered her things quickly and I walked her to the door. She turned around "You're gonna be okay you know, both of you. In a year's time this won't matter. Just think about what you want." Giving me a big warm hug, she was out the door, and I trudged back to the couch, sitting myself down and letting out a big sigh. It was starting to get dark out, so I leaned over on my side to reach the for the lamp with my outstretched hand, however my eyes instead landed on the scruffy napkin that still lay under the lamp shade, and had been laying there for about 8 months, including when I was away.

I let my hand wander down to it, and I picked it up. Jake's name and number was still written there, and I just stared at it for a couple of seconds. It was a simpler time back then, and I was beginning to feel nostalgic. It was like a completely new wave of guilt and regret washed over me about the things that had happened, the way I felt, and how much of an ass I had been to this guy.

Without thinking any more, I grabbed my car keys and slipped on my shoes, and dashed out to my car, pulling out of my drive and driving to Jake's.