Friday 9th December 2011
Dear Diary,
Got the results back from my doctor.....woop (not)
Apparently, if i'm not careful, I will soon develop osteoporosis, which I really don't want. I gave her a few updates since my last visit. I purged once...okay..okay..maybe twice in the space of about six months. But apparently this doesn't make me bulimic. I don't purge often enough to be bulimic, nor do I binge.
It's been officialy one year today since my last period, she said if my diet doesn't improve soon, I may never be able to have children. That's one thing I can't bear to tell James, my boyfriend, that may just thow him over the edge.
But on the plus side I'm not going to the shrink not yet. I begged her. She said if I don't get my weight up soon, she will, and she was serious. Gosh, I cannot risk my place at uni, I worked too hard for it, but there is no way i'm letting myself get fat again...urghh.
Don't worry..don't worry.. I can fix this. Okay maybe I can't. There is no way out of this. The stress of everything may just put me to the verge of suicide. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!
Uni is one huge stress in itself, but and eating disorder carries all that extra baggage.
Then i have my boyfriend, family stress, friend stress. And then trying to survive all of this on zero energy and a voice ringing all these thoughts of self hate in my head all day and night? Living on nearly zero hours sleep because the voice in my head is shouting "GET OF YOUR ARSE YOU FAT PIG! Do some exercise!"
Oh my, how do I survive?
YOU ARE READING
Dying to be thin
Teen FictionThis is the story of Emily, an 18 year old girl who is batteling with an eating disorder which is slowly begining to destroy her. Will she be able to fight her demons and recover? Will this be a battle she will have to fight alone? Will her anorexia...
