Dying to be thin

I can't lose you

Emily's POV

I couldn't believe this was all happening, I've just confessed some of my biggest secrets so a guy I've just met, as well as snogged him in the school field with his hands all over me, wow this day was eventful....

I could see all of the emotion in his eyes, I could read them like I knew he could read mine. I knew how he was feeling, he wants me to leave James, he's scared I'm gunna get hurt. "Okay, I know it sounds bad, that he beats me up and stuff, but...It's complicated" I began

"Complicated, How?" I could feel the protectiveness in his voice "When the facts come to it your boyfriend is hurting you during a time when you need all the love and support you can get from him, that's not complicated Em."

Once again, I was speechless, there was nothing I could say to that. I know he what he is saying is right, I know that I love Zayn, more than I've loved anyone before, I know I should leave James, but I can't. We've been together for 5 years, and what could I say to him? "Sorry, after 5 years I've realised I don't like the way you treat me, plus I snogged the new guy at school today who I love a lot more than you, so see ya!"....Yeah, that's what I mean by complicated.

"Zayn, you're right, I am scared of James, that's mainly why I can't break up with him, I'm scared what he'd do..." I trailed of, with painful thoughts of the past replaying in my mind.

"Emily, don't worry, I'm here for you, and I swear on my life I won't let anyone hurt you especially, him..Perhaps I could come with you, when you tell him?"

"No!" I blurted, "No..You can't do that, he'd hurt you too."

"Hey, don't worry, I'm a tough guy, I can handle him." He smiled confidently, this was why I loved him. He was prepared to do anything for me, he was the complete opposite of James.

"So, tonight, we'll tell him tonight?" I said, I wanted to get this over and done with.

"Sure babe, I'll pick you up at 5;30, we can meet him by the school gates. And don't worry, you're safe with me." He said as he held my hand and squeezed it gently. I hugged him, so thankful for him to be there, so thankful to have anyone to hug. This seemed almost unreal, that there was a guy out there like Zayn. I almost had to pinch myself to check that I hadn't dreamt this whole thing.

Suddenly, a feeling swept over me. I could feel my body warming up, at first I thought it was the heat from Zayn's body, but then it got overwhelming, it felt like my spinal cord was gunpowder and someone had lite the bottom of it, as the blazing heat travelled up my spine. My hands and feet were numb, I was struggling for breath. My legs could barely hold me up,  Zayn held me up by my shoulders,

"Emily, what's wrong?" "Emily!"

I could feel my ears were numb, as my hearing was fading, his words seemed to slur together.

"I...I...." I could barely talk. I could see the corners of my vision darkening, as I soon could barley make out Zayn's face from the trees.

"Emily, what's happening?" I could barely make out his muffled cries, but I couldn't answer him. My body didn't have the energy. I could feel my body begin to shut down. I slowly realised that I was no longer standing, I was lying on the ground in Zayn's arms. He held me close to him, he was crying as he shook my shoulder trying to keep me awake as he cried;

"Emily, what's wrong? What's happening? Babe, stay awake, don't close your eyes, look at me, don't clo...."

I couldn't make out the rest of his sentence, my ears had given up. I could feel my lungs struggling for air, it felt like I was drowning on dry land. I could feel myself slip away, as my vision got darker and darker. I was almost gone when my mind registered his final words to me

"I can't lose you!"