Always My Thug

eightytwo.

Noami's POV

Every since CJ died, Tray haven't been himself. CJ was his boy, his brother, the only person who understood him. Who understood us and who stuck by our side, when people gave up on us, when we gave up on each other.

Tray, have been moping around and barely talking to each me or Tyrone.

I woke up this morning, with him not by my side again. Which, isn't the first time it happened. CJ's funeral is tomorrow and I know the building will be full, especially of females. That was what he was known for the most. I don't even know my feelings for this whole situation.

Was it the way he held my hand one last time, maybe he knew that he was going to leave us. How he had my back through all the bullsh*t me and his boy was through. How he never took sides, how he was always there.

Tyrone was with Tray's parents because they didn't know how Tray would really react. I grabbed a bucket of ice cream and went to sit on the couch and watch TV. Then a knock came on the door. Before I went to open it, I checked the peephole. When I did, it was Jai.

"Wassup?" I asked opening the door.

"Nothing, I just came to see how he was holding up." he said.

"Well, he's not the person who shows his emotions and he's not even here. But you can come in and wait if you want to." I said.

"No, I just thought that he was here. You know we all had a connection, we had each other's back, the four of us. Tray was the head but CJ was the glue that held us together." he said beginning to cry.

"Jai, I know this, I know how you feel. Trust me, I lost my best friend too." I said.

"And then you blamed it on Tray."

"Wait, that's not exactly what happened." I said.

"No, that's exactly what it was. You blame him for the reason that Destiny and you had a fight." he said.

"Jai, that's not what happened."

"Noami, that is what happened. You blamed him for your friend's death and now, I blame you for CJ's."

"How?"

"If you would have not gotten pregnant, or even married Tray. Or moved back to Louisiana, no one would have known Tray's weakness. No one would have been after you, or even try to come for you. Why can't you just let him live a life without you? Maybe then, he'll get some peace." he said walking away.

"Jai, I'm sorry." I said to myself.

I closed the door and I was in total shock. I ain't know how to take in. I was blame for the death of CJ, just like I blamed Tray, Terrance, and Faith. Now, Faith is trying to destroy me and the whole crew probably hates me.

I pulled my knees up and started to cry. I heard the door open and footsteps coming my way. Then he pulled me close to him and he kissed my cheek and forehead, that's something he haven't done.

"Where do you go? At night, bright and early in the day. Leaving me here by myself. Not knowing if you're going to be the next one in the casket. Not talking to me or even Tyrone when he's on the phone. I know, that you need your time and I know that you need your space but don't leave me in the dark." I stated.

"Like you did when Destiny died?" he asked looking at me.

"So, you blame he too?" I asked.

"Blame you for what Noami?"

"The death of CJ, apparently I am the reason he got shot and got died."

"According to who?"

"I'm not going to say because then you're in the magazine. And then I'm blamed for the fight and the death of someone else. I didn't know you felt like this. I am so sorry." I said starting to cry more.